Face It.


  • April 26, 2020 at 12:08 am
    Too Tall

    It’s just one year when your daughter goes from 12 to 13, but it will age you by a decade.

    • April 26, 2020 at 7:29 am

      My daughters were both 12 going on 30….

    • April 26, 2020 at 7:58 am

      I’m screwed; I have 2 sets of twins, 5 and 8.5. One boy in the batch. And right now he my little pita. I hear they swap in the teenage years…

      • April 26, 2020 at 8:59 am

        Ahhh, Girls of a Certain Age…

        Zar Belk!

    • April 26, 2020 at 11:09 am
      Albert Bingemer

      How true. Mine had her entire personality switched. No longer shy and quiet. I need ear plugs when her friends are over. At least she’s now about to turn 15 so everything will calm down…Oh Lord help this widower!

  • April 26, 2020 at 12:14 am

    How about a new flavor of uber-ice cream for Nancy’s $24K custom freezer?!?

    Just call it Botox Brainfreeze …

    Those maggot-infested hippies at Ben & Jerry’s will be too happy to oblige her.

    • April 26, 2020 at 7:30 am

      How bout we just shove her in the freezer and be done with it….

      • April 26, 2020 at 7:58 am

        That doesn’t kill viruses; only preserves them!

    • April 26, 2020 at 9:10 am

      B & J sold out long ago. Now it’s just another corporation.

      • April 26, 2020 at 1:43 pm

        And sold out (20 years ago!) in the most socialist manner possible…Crying to all who would listen about the forced sale and dismantling of its “good works foundation” to retain the leftist love in spite of poison pill and other provisions that would have thwarted the takeover by Unilever in which B&J pocketed 50 million.

        Their biggest flavor that year was greed, flavored by the pretense of giving a shit about anything else…SOP for socialism at every level.

        Always follow the money, especially for those who claim it is irrelevant.

  • April 26, 2020 at 12:18 am

    The “mommy curse” strikes! “someday you will have children and I hope they are JUST LIKE YOU!!”

  • April 26, 2020 at 12:19 am

    “Top that.”

    AKA keep your shirts on girls…Mom’s call.

    Still, Q&A’s from 13 yo girls is the time to explain the natural innocence of some family nakedness as opposed to teen dating wherein nekkidness is a whole ‘nother thing and verboten.

    • April 26, 2020 at 12:51 am

      Exactly… naked vs nekkid are worlds apart…

      By the way, I’m glad you defused this, Chris. Well done.

    • April 26, 2020 at 1:54 am
      Too Tall

      Chris I agree with WayneM, very deftly handled.

      Kiko and Mari, in addition to keeping your shirts on, remember that it is “four on the floor and all hands on deck” when you are with a young man.

      It will slow down your premature aging of your parents.

      • April 26, 2020 at 7:42 am

        Ummmm… maybe I’ve seen too much weirdness in online worlds, but that phrase can have a very NON-innocent meaning.

      • April 26, 2020 at 5:04 pm
        Punta Gorda

        Very true…

  • April 26, 2020 at 1:10 am
    T Paul

    And that’s the good part of being a parent. The bad parts are really bad.

  • April 26, 2020 at 1:23 am

    Twin 13 year old Girls! Tequila. Lots of Tequila and ear plugs.
    Besides, Auntie Naomi has not taught them how to knife fight yet or spots that will render an attacker senseless.

    • April 26, 2020 at 1:29 am

      Never date a girl who’s father cn end you from another Zip code! 😀

      • April 26, 2020 at 1:48 am
        Too Tall


      • April 26, 2020 at 7:18 am

        Before ‘boys’ really do start showing up, Zed could invite a couple to go ‘plinking’. Then he can grab the suppressed M24 and show’em how to ‘cut’ cantaloupe at 800 meters?
        He could also comment on how efficient wild pigs can be for the disposal of evidence.
        Then let the word spread.
        It won’t completely stop nature but it may have some effect.

      • April 26, 2020 at 7:44 am

        No. But you’d better treat them right.
        And always go to Dad to talk when they flip out. He’ll understand.

      • April 26, 2020 at 1:26 pm

        My daughter used to introduce me to boys who she was about to dump for the purpose of ensuring they got the message that goodbye was final. When I recognized the pattern, I told her that I approved.

      • April 26, 2020 at 10:58 pm

        My daughters had a standing offer to blame me for “grounding” them whenever they didn’t want to continue a relationship. I’m big and mean.

  • April 26, 2020 at 1:34 am

    I had to learn how to turn a “no” into a “yes” for my nieces. “no, you can’t have that, but you can have this and it’s more fun”

    like “no, you can’t have a shotgun, but I’ll buy you a Cricket” (they’re 6 and 7)

    • April 26, 2020 at 11:27 am
      MAJ Arkay

      Dad was great with this. “Not yet, hon. A shotgun would just knock you on your butt. You need to grow a bit more. Want to shoot my pistol today?”

      Worked. I never got around to that shotgun until I inherited Dad’s Browning A Model 12 gauge. Now I have 3 shotguns: Dad’s, a Browning Sitori 20 gauge, and a Stoeger 20 gauge coach gun.

  • April 26, 2020 at 1:36 am

    Did that “Daughter goes from 12 to 13” 6 times. There are very good reasons that Renaissance Europeans of means packed off their progeny at age 12 to the civilizing influences of killer nuns and Jesuit headmasters at boarding schools until age 17-18. Our girls mostly listened, most of the time. They have done very well. I am immensely proud of them all.

    • April 26, 2020 at 2:01 am
      Too Tall

      Six times! That’s got be a land speed record for feeling like you’ve gone from 25 to 85 (years old).

      I only did it twice, with two who are now wonderful young women and of whom my wife and I could not be prouder.

      But it can take you from young to old, and make you feel like you missed middle age. We call that the “lost decade.”

  • April 26, 2020 at 2:05 am
    Too Tall

    Stand by, your daughters are going to save their most difficult questions and problems for you.

  • April 26, 2020 at 4:26 am

    I had 3 sons but no daughters. But I have 6 grand daughters and no grand sons. I can imagine what my sons and their wives are going thru. Just glad it is not me.

  • April 26, 2020 at 7:35 am

    I remember my daughter’s first dates…..when they showed up I was in the living room cleaning my shotgun….subtle, to the point….

    • April 26, 2020 at 1:07 pm

      *Chuckle* That also happened to me. The problem was that I was raised around guns all my life and when I saw her dad’s shotgun, a beautiful Browning A5 Gold Trigger with a PolyChoke, I knew what it was, pointed out to her dad how nice it was, and Jenell and I didn’t get out of the house for nearly 45 min as her dad and I yakked about guns.
      I think I may have perplexed him just a bit by not being intimidated in the slightest. 😀

      • April 26, 2020 at 11:02 pm

        Dad still came out ahead. You missed out on 45 min of access to his daughter

      • April 26, 2020 at 11:37 pm
        Too Tall


  • April 26, 2020 at 8:22 am

    I was going to do the “Zed is the Perfect Father” but I was beaten to it. But nonncom, There is great Country Song about a a daughter’s first date, “I’ll be cleaning my guns”.

  • April 26, 2020 at 9:11 am

    Hanson twins? I’m too old, and I don’t get the reference. My only thought was the Hanson brothers from the movie Slapshot.

    • April 26, 2020 at 9:50 am
      Chris Muir

      That’s where I got it. Loved that flick.

    • April 26, 2020 at 6:44 pm

      Heh … I had am\almost forgotten that movie too!

      But I do remember that there were THREE Hanson Brothers, not twins.

      I did a bit of searching and the Hanson Brothers were based on real-life hockey players the Carlson Brothers. In fact, two of the Carlson brothers played two of the Hanson brothers in Slap Shot.

      Anyways … the two girls might have ended up dating three brothers which could have made for lots of fightin’ and scrappin’ among the three Hansons as the odd man out wouldn’t likely take it sitting down and out. That might even make for an interesting plot when the girls are a couple years older and going to Homecoming or Prom …

      Check out some of this fun history at:

  • April 26, 2020 at 2:15 pm

    Kind of glad, in a way, I had boys. As it’s been said…
    “With boys you only have to keep one dick out of trouble,
    with girls you have to keep an eye on every one in town”

  • April 26, 2020 at 9:37 pm
    John M.

    Seven boys and one girl. ( the youngest) No real problems with any of them, but guess who came to work with me in the shipyard… and I don’t mean office work – out on the grounds in a trade. She’s also the best shot of the eight…

  • April 26, 2020 at 9:50 pm

    As for the situation in Argentina, just make sure they know this is here and not there. Innocent family nudity is entirely different than party on the home front. Still, Chris, good catch on those who would watch FOR that, rather than see it as I might.

  • April 27, 2020 at 2:35 am

    “Hey you.. anything happens to my daughter, I’ve got a .45 and a shovel. I doubt that anyone would miss you.”

  • April 27, 2020 at 12:37 pm

    Doggo for the win. My Dad didn’t need a gun to intimidate suitors, He’d sit there reading the paper without saying a word. By the time my sisters came downstairs, the boys would be shaking in their boots. For Ozymandius: “I’ve got a .45 and a shovel, and I don’t mind going back to prison.”



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