Call of the Wild.
Pulled Pork.


  • January 1, 2016 at 9:59 pm

    This is one of those situations where Naomi shines. I’ve got a feeling the horses are getting a workout.

  • January 1, 2016 at 10:07 pm
    Blue Quasar

    My money’s on the Israeli chick.

  • January 1, 2016 at 10:29 pm
    Greg B

    I’m gonna guess a cougar or wolf?
    Are there wolves in Texas? Or cougars for that matter. The feline variety.
    I really have no idea.

    • January 1, 2016 at 10:31 pm
      Greg B

      Or a BIG HOG.

    • January 1, 2016 at 10:40 pm
      Cliff H

      Unless they tripped some sort of alarm, wolves, cougars and feral pigs do not ring the doorbell.

      • January 1, 2016 at 10:41 pm
        Cliff H

        Silly me, that was Zed on the phone, not a doorbell. Never mind.

      • January 2, 2016 at 1:44 am

        Cliff H, my lengthy explanation has been understandably disallowed here. Suffice to say, not unilateral. Do some GoogleFu.

      • January 2, 2016 at 10:24 am
        Chris Muir

        I appreciate your forbearance, JTC.:)

      • January 2, 2016 at 2:03 pm

        And I yours, Mr. Muir. 😉

    • January 2, 2016 at 11:47 am

      Wolves no longer in Texas. We have cougars and bobcats, tons of feral hogs, and those butt nasty javelinas.

      • January 2, 2016 at 5:51 pm

        Don’t you have the nastiest of all – Dhimpcrapts

    • January 2, 2016 at 12:41 pm

      Both. And black bears.

  • January 1, 2016 at 10:30 pm

    What’s the count on feral hogs at the ranch?
    Looks like there may be another kind of pig on their dinner menu.

    • January 1, 2016 at 10:50 pm

      I’ve never understood the whole Feral Hog phenomenon. How did it come to pass that they’re so populous as to be considered vermin when they are made of Bacon…?

      • January 1, 2016 at 11:07 pm

        Unlike their domesticated brethren, feral hogs will eat anything.
        The process from nasty critter to tasty bacon takes a bit longer.
        It also depends on the brine solution and wood used in the smoking process.

      • January 2, 2016 at 11:48 am

        No bacon in Texas wild hogs. Not enough fat to make bacon.

      • January 2, 2016 at 1:23 pm

        Well that is a reasonable explanation for the population explosion. It’s just work getting rid of them if they’re no good to eat.

      • January 2, 2016 at 12:10 am

        Because they have sharp tusks, are vicious as hell, and as Pamela points out, they will eat anything — including humans.

        People that go hunting feral boar better have a mighty reliable weapon, a backup, and FAST reflexes. A handy tree and the ability to climb it can be useful too.

      • January 2, 2016 at 12:34 am
        Greg B

        Yep. Guy was lucky.

      • January 2, 2016 at 1:25 am
        Lucius Severus Pertinax

        .444 Marlin 😉

      • January 2, 2016 at 1:49 am
        Ed Woods

        They can move like hell was on their tail, absorb enough damage to take out King Kong, and rip you a new one.

      • January 2, 2016 at 9:30 am
        Bill G

        They are prolific breeders, a sow can have two litters a year, from one to a dozen piglets.
        And they are smart; hunt a group and the survivors learn what took out some of their group.

      • January 2, 2016 at 4:22 pm

        And then, of course, there are the javelinas (they have those in Texas, don’t they?) which look like wild pigs but aren’t really pigs at all. They’re made up barely edible meat land-mined with musk glands. Like the game Operation, if you nick just one of the musk glands, you lose (dinner). 🙂

      • January 3, 2016 at 12:04 am

        Medium size feral hogs are good eating, bigger ones notsomuch. OTOH:
        “The wild pig is the most prolific large mammal on the face of the Earth—but they are not “born pregnant”! The average is between 5 and 6 pigs per litter. Sows have approximately 1.5 litters per year.”

    • January 2, 2016 at 10:23 am

      Wasn’t King Robert killed by a feral hog? He shouldn’t have been drinking so much that day.

      Anyway, in Germany they used to use a boar lance to hunt hogs. Basically a short sword and a long, solid pole. Horses are also handy since hogs are pretty fast for the short distance.

      • January 2, 2016 at 10:37 am

        Don’t forget the really big barbs on the short sword part – so the pig couldn’t force his way up the pole part and gore you.

      • January 2, 2016 at 9:21 pm

        Ancient Greeks stated the cross bars on pig stickers.

      • January 3, 2016 at 1:46 am

        started, sorry.

      • January 3, 2016 at 12:27 pm

        King Robert? Would that be the fictional king in Game of Thrones?

        A real-life king who died hunting – boars by some accounts – was William Rufus, William II of England after William the Conqueror. However, the boar didn’t kill WR, rather he was hit by an arrow (or a boar spear – accounts vary a lot). The hunting buddy who allegedly killed him escaped beyond the reach of WR’s brother and successor Henry I, and it’s always been suspected that it was an assassination rather than an accident – but Henry soon established a sufficiently firm grasp on power that no one would raise that question while he lived. Another reason for not rocking the boat was that Henry was a much better king.

  • January 1, 2016 at 10:38 pm
    Cliff H

    Naomi, in Texas, uses “Mexican Carry”? Either that or she has an extremely minimalist IWB.

    • January 1, 2016 at 10:47 pm

      “Mexican Carry” is in the front of the pants (that’s the only place it will “stay” without a holster, and you can throw it in the bushes quickly when the the Federales show up and can’t be connected to it without a holster). Her IWB is in the back.

      • January 2, 2016 at 12:44 am

        As seen in the first panel, small of the back (SOTB) carry allows drawing the weapon wit either hand rather inconspicuously.

        As to the intruder, I call feral hog as well.



      • January 2, 2016 at 1:59 pm

        “Mexican Carry” refers to the fact that many Mexican cops couldn’t afford holsters and weren’t issued any. It doesn’t mean what Mexican civilians did, because Mexican civilians didn’t carry. Neither did San Diego cops when we went across the border for cheap Mexican gasoline, because several of our guys spent some hours in Mexican jails before finally being released with the admonition to tell the rest of us to leave our firearms at home.

        When I was a San Diego PD officer, we used to get together and send our old holsters down south to help out the cops down there so that some, at least, wouldn’t have to resort to “Mexican Carry”.

      • January 2, 2016 at 11:02 pm
        David Gonzalez

        Hey Reg—

        Were you with the SDPD back in 1973—when one of their SWAT guys ran afoul of the MPs out at the old Miramar NAS? That’s one night I will *never* forget! Let us rejoice that the injury wasn’t serious! : )

    • January 2, 2016 at 12:39 pm

      Maybe she’s wearing SOB “Thunderwear”

  • January 1, 2016 at 10:45 pm

    Well, we’ve all learned something important here…

    …Naomi is left handed.

    By the way, what flavor of 9mm does she normally carry? I’d expect HST or Ranger-T.

    • January 1, 2016 at 11:46 pm
      Ryk E Lee

      IMI Ex-Star, is my personal favorite, quite possibly Naomi s too.

    • January 2, 2016 at 12:12 am

      Not necessarily. Ex-Mossad; more than likely she is prepared to draw with either hand. That one just happens to be set up for the left.

      • January 2, 2016 at 12:34 am

        Whether you cross train or not, you’re still going to orient your normal carry piece for your dominant arm.

    • January 2, 2016 at 12:48 am

      Being ex-Mossad, probably a P-35 or CZ-75. They rarely used “domestic” sidearms, and preferred ones with wide distribution. Mainly because if you had to drop one in a sewer grate after an IA, it was less likely to come back later to say “hello” in the hands of a local police official.



      • January 2, 2016 at 12:59 am

        I’m actually asking about the ammunition she loads. Federal HST in any full-size pistol caliber is my personal favorite, but I admit it’s six-and-half-a-dozen with the Winchester Ranger-T series projectiles as far as performance and reliability; I just find that HST is easier to locate.

      • January 3, 2016 at 12:00 am

        Ironic tie-in: guy brought in a pistol today, still in the box and a nice-looking piece but one I wasn’t familiar with, which after nigh forty years behind the gun/pawn counter is pretty uncommon.

        It’s an Israeli-made gun, not being imported currently, called for some reason a Bul Cherokee; why a one-L Bul or for that matter a Cherokee I don’t know, but it seems it’s pretty much an EAA Witness knockoff, which in turn is pretty much a CZ-75 knockoff. Weird, but like I said, a nice looking pistol, and I’ve always liked the CZ variants.

        We couldn’t make a deal, I guess he had paid a good bit for it, but it turns out they don’t go for much online, there’s one listed on g-broker for 280 with no reserve and no bids.

        But yeah, Naomi could be totin’ a homegrown, still cheap enough to toss if need be, but really the way things are in Israel cities right now, if the popo there found her gun in a sewer, they’d probably bring it back to her and tell her to be more careful with it… 🙂

  • January 2, 2016 at 12:13 am

    And — I may be wrong, but I don’t think this is any sort of four-foot…

    • January 2, 2016 at 12:51 am

      Naomi wouldn’t say “don’t startle (him or it)” in front of a (theoretically) human assailant. That’s what you say when about to draw down on a large and potentially dangerous quadruped.

      Which, BTW, includes cattle. Anyone who thinks the stupid buggers aren’t dangerous has never worked them, especially on horseback.



      • January 2, 2016 at 1:08 am

        It’s a miracle that any cattle farmer retires whole. They don’t have to do anything hostile, just be dumber than a bag of glue and weigh more than half a ton.

        …and I hate fixing fence.

        I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a four-footed intruder. But it could also be a no-hablo-ingles border jumper with a gun looking for some agua (no reason not to be aiming at an animal already, otherwise). Plus, the darker part of me wants to see vengeance for the car wreck.

      • January 2, 2016 at 10:26 pm


      • January 2, 2016 at 10:25 am

        Yes, but would you talk in front of something that you don’t want to notice you in the first place?

      • January 2, 2016 at 9:47 pm

        Or a non-English-speaking illegal immigrant…

      • January 2, 2016 at 11:34 pm

        Yeah. I’ve has cat scans and a few operations after being flattened by a big steer. I still hurt all over. Hoof prints on my head, back and shoulders both sides. Urgent care took one look when I staggered in the door and directed me to the hospital ER. The Young Country Kid took him (it?) to the local packer. I told him when I woke up, to have the knacker kill him a slowly and a painfully as possible. I also found out that the Daughter in Law could leap an 8-foot corral in a single bound.

        Feral hogs cause lots of damage. Their biggest problem is that they dig, and they have the tusks to do it. They could follow you to hell if they wanted to.

  • January 2, 2016 at 12:44 am

    Pretty good eulogy for 2015 here:

    Too bad we can’t bury the problems along with the year. But if the noises are any indication the next one could be worse. If the 0’s executive orders on firearms rights is allowed to stand, those of us whose families do not have the advantage of living under sovereign rules as do the denizens of the Double D might find our ability to defend from whatever evil lurks outside our door to be in jeopardy.

    BTW, I’ll settle for Trump/Cruz, but if I had my druthers? Sowell4Prez!

    • January 2, 2016 at 7:50 am
      B Woodman

      Yes, I worry about Teh BOdaPrez’s “executive” orders, how it/ they will affect me, my family, my Constitutional community near and wide.
      But I have also developed an attitude of WWNC. We Will Not Comply. The same attitude as those brave hearts in CT and NY who have NOT registered their EBRs (Eeeeeevil Black Rifles) in defiance of unConstitutional state law.
      So, is Teh Won froggy enough to sign such an order? Is Teh Klueless Klown Krew in Kongress spineless enough to let it fly? Are the patriots brave enough to resist? And the ones who would have to go out and break down doors, AND THEIR BOSSES, do they have enough paid up life insurance? (think 4GW)

    • January 2, 2016 at 5:02 pm
      Pete in NC

      Sowell for President! Excellent idea!!

  • January 2, 2016 at 1:22 am

    Damn. And wait for tomorrow to find out what it was. Damn. And, Zed? They were a bit busy.

  • January 2, 2016 at 2:21 am

    I’m thinking rattler ….

    • January 2, 2016 at 8:55 am
      Unca Walt

      Nah. You can just back up. True, dat. I useta actually GRAB them. (Wife unit stopped [i]that[/i] when I got old and slow) 🙂

  • January 2, 2016 at 6:22 am

    Lots of good possible explanations here mentioned above.
    Bad on the dictator for trying to disarm us. Won’t happen, and it may cause more transformation that he wants. Stick it up his fundament and … never mind.

    Back to Mary Ellen pointing me to sit at the table of a visiting congressman from near Texas back in the 1990’s when I arrived late at a political luncheon. She encouraged my talking to visitors.
    After talking nice, the topic from someone hit the border and the illegal immigrant flow back then. After praising our then two longest undefended borders then calling that time over, I pointed out how there were American ranchers dying at the hands of the illegal crossers along the Texas border. I also pointed out the drugs being hauled across and the sex trade and sex slavery that was occurring using Latin American women. And it seems that I could repeat every topic I brought up except that the number of Other Than Mexicans has massively increased, including jihad tasked people. I have entertained my own congress critters with the same information when in proximity, except DWS who after I was gerrymandered into her district never ran in the same circles as me, though I had tried to go to a few gatherings where such as her version of congress critter might be at with limited success. It just wasn’t like when Chebby had the same position that Mary Ellen had and would sort of say hello to a familiar face, or when Marco was brought by the political luncheon when he was in the middle of political ladder climbing with no next rung for him and he was feeling like he was in limbo.
    New year. Same old political scat. Possibly to be Trumped. We hope.

    Now here we have two enemy presented, either foreign or domestic, and either two legged or four. Same treatment for them that depends on how the enemy acts. The God given right to defense of self and others can be called into play by the enemy actions. It appears that it has been. We only need to see who or what needed to be defended against.
    We must wait patiently for the same bat time at the same bat place to come to pass for the next episode in this serial to find out what happened. Good story development. Cliffhanger in process.

  • January 2, 2016 at 9:40 am
    Bill G

    I would think four-foot predators would have learned to avoid that ranch-house long ago.
    A two-foot predator, new to the area, might not have been told it’s a poor place to try anything.
    Because, yeah, my money’s on Naomi.

  • January 2, 2016 at 10:15 am

    I’m guessing Hogs…… Not people.

  • January 2, 2016 at 11:26 am

    Y’all better hope it’s something other than a feral hog. Because, unless that’s a rather larger caliber than you normally find in something you can carry IWB, it isn’t likely to stop a feral hog.

    Along with what everyone else has said about them, they have extremely tough hides and very thick skulls. And, like a gentle giant on PCP, they can keep coming even after being shot. (Remember those barbs I mentioned on boar spears?) Everyone I’ve heard speak of hunting them says you carry a .50 revolver for the “oh crap, he didn’t go down and now he’s charging me inside long gun range” backup.

  • January 2, 2016 at 11:52 am

    Could also be a big honking’ rattler that came up on the porch, maybe into the house. “Don’t startle it” would be very appropriate in that case.

    • January 2, 2016 at 5:28 pm
      Unca Walt

      Awright, my second attempt to git through to the city boys… 🙂

      Buzzers don’t react to telephones (sounds). They react to movement.

    • January 2, 2016 at 10:32 pm

      I just don’t see a rattler, a hog, or anything short of human being termed an “invader.”

      Invasive species, yes. But Zed’s dad being a man of few words, he’d’a said “damn hog,” or “damn rattler” or whatever. Not “Got-damn[sic] invaders”…

  • January 2, 2016 at 12:30 pm

    Along that part of Tejas, jaguars are likely to cross over as well. Not real common these days, but not unheard of. Anyway, glad to see someone’s locked & loaded and taking no guff when she struts her stuff.

  • January 2, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    If it is a hog how is it going to get in the house?

    • January 2, 2016 at 4:50 pm
      John Greer

      Right through the screen door.

      • January 2, 2016 at 9:37 pm

        You have to forgive people from the North country. We don’t have screen doors.

  • January 2, 2016 at 8:22 pm

    Skunnnnkkkkk 🙂

  • January 2, 2016 at 9:01 pm
    Dirty Bob

    I vote feral (wild) hog. Down here in S. Texas, there are rural areas where people won’t go down to the mailbox without a shotgun or a big-bore handgun. Not only are they destructive to crops, they’re ill-tempered and dangerous. Up north (and in central Florida!) folks debate the best weapon for bear defense. Here, it’s wild boar.

  • January 2, 2016 at 9:53 pm
    John M.

    I notice that Naomi’s left hand is not in view in the second frame… probably because it’s already full.
    Reading the other comments, I’m sure it’s a predator, but is it four-legged or two? OK Chris, it’s been 22 hours. You’ve kept us on the edge of our seats long enough!

  • January 2, 2016 at 10:10 pm

    I guess we’re about to find out, but if this is a hog problem, I have a couple of thoughts…

    1). Wild pigs run in herds, so if you’ve got a rogue going solo, AND it’s approaching what it knows by smell is a people place? That thing is crazed, rabid, or something; kill it quick, drag the carcass well away, soak it in gas and burn it into powder.

    2). I smell opp or tu ni tayyy! If the ferals are a serious infestation on the ranch, add a new activity to the Double Down club…

    They’ve already got the ‘copters, you know they’ve got the AR’s, there are people who pay BIG BUCKS to sit harnessed in the bay and pop as many of these mean-ass rodents as the heli can scare up. It’s a two-fer; income production, and pestilence reduction…they’ll be booked for months ahead!

    • January 2, 2016 at 10:16 pm

      Same method would work pretty well for invading hordes of long-pig, but I guess that wouldn’t be either PC or WJWD; I don’t give a rat’s ass about the former, but the latter is of substantial long-term concern.

      • January 2, 2016 at 11:06 pm
        B Woodman

        Then I guess it would be up to the two legged long pig invaders to learn to NOT invade north across the border. Ball’s in their court, not mine.

    • January 3, 2016 at 12:00 pm

      Pigs are creatures of forests and brush country. They are not easy to spot, even from the air. Trailing with dogs would be more effective, except that I suspect most dogs that _would_ follow that scent would be too stupid to easily be trained to hold back and wait for the hunter rather than plunge right into combat with the pig. It’s likely that the exchange rate of dogs for pigs would favor the pigs. I am remembering a Faulkner story where he claimed that the way to hunt bears was with a worthless yapping little dog – the dog would follow the scent to the bear, the bear would take it’s time killing and eating the little pest, and that gave the hunter his chance to get there and take his shot. I rather suspect that only difference with a wild boar would be that the pig would charge once, bite once, swallow twice, and be gone.

      I don’t know the Texas laws about pig-hunting. If feral pigs really are that much of a problem, it would make sense to remove all the laws except the sensible safety laws (don’t shoot in the dark, don’t shoot towards nearby houses or people, only shoot when you can clearly identify the target, the backstop, and everything in between, know the difference between your game and domestic animals, or if you use traps, make sure they won’t catch people or the wrong animal). E.g., it’s likely that helicopter hunting is banned, just because it’s banned for everything else. For most game that’s reasonable – e.g. if you allowed hunting deer that way you’d soon have no deer – but for feral hogs, eradication would be the (probably unreachable) goal rather than a disaster, and shooting downwards is safer.

      • January 3, 2016 at 12:14 pm

        You got most of the Texas laws down. It is illegal to:

        Hunt a feral hog without a valid hunting license.
        Hunt a feral hog on a public road or right-of-way.
        Hunt a feral hog without the landowner’s permission.
        Possess a feral hog or the carcass of a feral pig without the property owner’s consent.

        Otherwise, it’s open season all year round.

      • January 3, 2016 at 10:42 pm

        Huh. From the Florida Wildlife Commission regulations:

        On private property with landowner permission, wild pigs may be trapped and hunted year round using any legal to own rifle, shotgun, crossbow, bow or pistol. There is no size or bag limit, and you may harvest either sex. Also, no hunting license is required. A gun and light at night permit is not required to take wild hogs with a gun and light on private lands with landowner permission.

        IOW, no restrictions.

        Yeah, they’re vermin, they’re out of control, and they might ultimately root us out. Four-legged and two-legged alike.

  • January 2, 2016 at 11:49 pm

    I thought hog hunting was the rationale for having ‘Toly and the Hughes 300?

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