Hat Check.


  • March 2, 2020 at 12:11 am
    Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH B Woodman

    Even 12 y.o. super geniuses need a firm and guiding hand to help them mature. That, and a little fear of “the mom” never hurts.

    • March 2, 2020 at 1:22 am

      A father passes on important information to a young son.

  • March 2, 2020 at 12:12 am

    By the time the clown car candidates finish, Quantum entanglements will look like algebra.

  • March 2, 2020 at 12:16 am
    Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH B Woodman

    Quantum organics (human brains) can think outside the box. How else have we humans been able to advance and progress throughout history?
    Mechanistics (AI) can only do as much as has been programmed into them.

    • March 2, 2020 at 12:25 am

      It ain’t AI if it can’t program its own self. That will be the deciding factor in the Battle of the Quantums. My money is on the organics for now.

    • March 2, 2020 at 2:41 am

      Organic semantic-engines verses high-speed inorganic context engines.

    • March 2, 2020 at 5:25 pm

      Yes, but AI is generally capable of considering a far larger box than organics can, and noticing patterns that we just can see due to our limited horizons. Hence the value attributed to “Big Data” …

      • March 2, 2020 at 10:54 pm

        Meh. I was always capable of seeing patterns. And especially in being Operating Manager at a large mfg. plant.
        140+ machines, avg. 22 separate operations per piece, all hand loaded and removed, generally half million parts per month. You need to see the flow and keep everything running even with breakdowns by priorities.
        The computers were good at keeping track of the orders and preparing shipping papers.

      • March 2, 2020 at 11:15 pm

        The mind is superior at such sight than the machine.

  • March 2, 2020 at 12:36 am
    Too Tall

    Javier, the “Prime Directive” for the survival and stability of the universe is: Put the Toilet Seat Down!

    • March 2, 2020 at 1:26 am

      The real reason women go in pairs to the ladies room. Not to dish, or gossip. But, to ensure the cleaning lady left the seat down, And, if not, they have a helping hand to get them out. Ladies, look before you squat,

    • March 2, 2020 at 5:03 pm
      Brent Dotson

      My 25th wedding anniversary is this August. In all that time, I forgot to put the seat down once. I was recovering from having 7 spaces in my spine fused and on pain meds that gave me the most colorful dreams I’ve ever had. Wife was understanding, but still pointed it out. As in aside, I didn’t get married until I was 43.

  • March 2, 2020 at 12:59 am

    I wonder if his room has “Air of Teenager” leaking under the door.

  • March 2, 2020 at 2:10 am

    One of my son’s university mates boards with us. I call him Ginger Sheldon. He’s currently working on his doctorate in Mathematics, grinding on a thesis in “Quantum Resistant Cryptography” and while I’m relatively proficient in math, he’s in another world and how. Asperger’s Poster Child.

    If only we could find an Amy Farrah Fowler who could put up with his nonsense…

  • March 2, 2020 at 2:38 am

    Roger Penrose said the same.

  • March 2, 2020 at 3:19 am

    Boyz will be boyz… even the brainiacs.

  • March 2, 2020 at 3:51 am

    Don’t laugh about essentials. I was severely lectured by friends about seat procedure since they had to rescue a young lady who sat without checking for the status of the facilities after my previous visit. All the arms and legs flailing in the air were rather entertaining, however.

  • March 2, 2020 at 4:50 am
    Bill G

    Given the amount of material splashed out by flushing, it only makes sense to put the seat down to contain it.

    • March 2, 2020 at 7:18 am

      The LID! Close the lid. When you flush it creates aerosol particles, and I ‘ll bet your toothbrush is within a very few feet of microscopic poop and pee particles shot out by the swirling, splashing water

      • March 2, 2020 at 5:05 pm
        Brent Dotson

        Not in my house, the toilet in the master bedroom is in it’s own little room with a door. The toilet is the only thing in there.

  • March 2, 2020 at 5:42 am

    I think I’ve figured it out. I feel like it is unfair that I always have to be the one to bend over and lift the lid to do my business so I decided to get into the habit of always putting BOTH the seat and the lid down when I finish. I never get in trouble for leaving it up and get the satisfaction of knowing The Queen has to lift a lid also.

    • March 2, 2020 at 9:44 am

      With the amount of “stuff” the fairer sex stores on the back of the toilet it is self defense to put the lid down. Avoid the joys of pulling out the entire toilet to recover the remains of that unidentifiable bottle of something or paying a plumber for an emergency Saturday service call to do the same.

    • March 2, 2020 at 1:11 pm
      Bradford Long

      I lived surrounded by females all my life; four sisters and a mom, no brothers and no dad at home. I got married and had daughters. I early on developed the rule “If I find the lid up when I get there, the seat is up when I leave.” It worked.

  • March 2, 2020 at 7:11 am

    My wife never got stuck, but she didn’t enjoy the midnight cold water douche effect and let me know about it. I took the lesson to heart and started putting the seat and lid down. The next lecture was to leave the lid up. She didn’t like the midnight warm water bidet effect either.

    • March 2, 2020 at 4:20 pm

      More proof of lack of looking before squatting.

  • March 2, 2020 at 7:54 am

    Funny how this discussion brings back memories … wa-a-a-y back when we married and started to set up the house there was a discussion and decision regarding the toilet seat(s). It came to pass that the agreed upon action was to always out all lids down when finished. This wisdom(?) has resulted in no deep sit-downs and as such was passed on to our three boys. Two of the three wives have mentioned that the all lids down solution was reasonable and have agreed to implement that rule in their homes.

    A good tradition based in practicality.

    • March 2, 2020 at 8:11 am

      And the third wife? No opinion or hasn’t voiced one?
      You brought up the statistics…

      • March 2, 2020 at 10:38 am

        Don’t have to worry about putting the seat down if you never put it up. 😀

      • March 2, 2020 at 3:16 pm

        Spray ‘n Pray, Free2Pee, The Aim Game, etc…

      • March 2, 2020 at 2:48 pm

        They live in NJ (I’m in Texas) so no opinion or hasn’t voiced one – could be either or both or none. I would not be surprised if they are also following tradition – that son is a USCG Drill Instructor at Cape May and is used to setting standards.

  • March 2, 2020 at 9:03 am
    Jim Smith

    It’s uncanny, the things that it’s obvious Chris has been reading up on. If anyone wants to delve more into it, the latest exponents of why there can never be “strong” (or human-level) AI are Rupert Sheldrake (try his book “Science Set Free”) and George Gilder (in his book “Life After Google”). The theses of both is that there is something “extra” (as yet not understood) in self-organizing organic entities (and in Sheldrake’s case, self-organizing non-organic materials, such as crystals) that allows the appearance of that “extra” thing. Chris is a very interesting guy, independent of his great politics and great-fun comics. He references some very cutting-edge scientific-cultural questions here. Good stuff Chris! 🙂

    • March 2, 2020 at 5:45 pm

      Haven’t we heard that song already? Vitalism wasn’t debunked all that long ago. Most of the commenters here can probably remember a time when nobody thought AI would ever be able to defeat the best human chess players, too. It’s not impossible that strong AI involves “something extra”, but we’ll figure it out if it does. Personally, I tend to believe Kurzweil, that the main problem is that our computers just aren’t good enough yet.

      • March 2, 2020 at 6:13 pm
        Punta Gorda

        Kurzweil is self delusional.

        Technological advances only APPEAR exponential. The front half of a sigmoid curve (logistics function) looks like that.

  • March 2, 2020 at 9:57 am

    When I ran a small office with a single-toilet community bathroom, the ladies demanded that I put the seat down (not the lid, the seat) after I vacated the bathroom. I told them I’d agree to put it down after I finished, if they’d agree to put it up after they finished. That seemed fair to me. I got no takers. Eventually, I just gave in, for peace in the office.

  • March 2, 2020 at 10:51 am

    Her mechanistic parameters look exceedingly fine to me. And fully human.

    No male should ever be expected to understand the female mind’s relationship to the toilet seat, among other congenital mysteries…

  • March 2, 2020 at 11:38 am
    MAJ Arkay

    Early in our marriage, we had a cat who was fascinated with running water. He liked to flush the toilet, then play in the swirling water. Finally taught Spousal Unit that it would be much cleaner in the house if the seat lid stayed down — not to mention our water bill would be cheaper, since Cat didn’t flush when he couldn’t watch the water. Never could get him to understand that he could use the toilet, too, so the lid went down. 43 years later, Spousal Unit still puts the lid down.

  • March 2, 2020 at 11:45 am

    Wait a minute. How many bathrooms are in the house? Which bathroom seat is Jan talking about?

  • March 2, 2020 at 3:21 pm


    Sometimes even Quantum organics need a software download…

  • March 2, 2020 at 4:22 pm

    Got one word for you…urinal! Ever watch a gal hike up to one and let the golden shower fly?

    Kidding but the customer bathroom only had a urinal in my last gun/pawn biz.

    I figured anybody needs/wants to take a dump (did you know there are otherwise normal guys, businessmen, tradesmen, cops, etc. who for some reason love to do their bidness in random places) can make other arrangements.

  • March 2, 2020 at 4:24 pm

    Well, Buttigieg and Klobuchar are out of the running. If, she doesn’t do well tomorrow, expect to see Liarwatha off the warpath, as well. She’s running out of wampum.

    • March 2, 2020 at 8:12 pm
      Punta Gorda

      She’ll just revert to what works for her. Flat out fraud.

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