Mo’ Mocha Betta.
Ol’ Paint.


  • January 22, 2015 at 10:10 pm

    They won’t learn nothing from just getting to walk… Pull an ‘Inglorious Basterds’ on ’em, and make sure they can’t take off the “uniform”. 😀

  • January 22, 2015 at 10:29 pm

    Thanks for the flashback Chris, if it wasn’t for that freakin’ paperwork……….

  • January 22, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    In a just world, that’s exactly the conversation the sheriff and Wade would be having.

    • January 23, 2015 at 2:04 am


    • January 23, 2015 at 12:22 pm

      Clearly haven’t been to some parts of Rural America. I’ve had a very similar conversation with a sheriff when feds(EPA) showed up on our property with no warrant and started poking around. Asked me if I wanted to press trespassing charges or bury them in the old gravel pit.

  • January 22, 2015 at 10:40 pm

    I would vote for the snake pit, but he is right. The paperwork is a bear.

  • January 22, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    They’ve been hog-tied. Now they need to be ham-strung. Take them out of service for anything but a desk.

  • January 22, 2015 at 11:02 pm
    B Woodman

    What paperwork? After the snake pit, ain’t gonna be nuttin’ left to do paperwork on. And we discussed getting rid of all the other evidence. Just look the other way, Sheriff.
    And as for swearing to G-d, pffft, they don’t believe in G-d. If they did, they wouldn’t be working for the Federal DHS. Don’t trust them, don’t believe them. It would be a Faustian bargain if you let them loose. THEY, PERSONALLY, may not be back, but they’ll tell their teammates/superiors, who will send others, ad infinitum.
    Best to make them totally disappear. Leave the mystery to “whatever happened to . . . . ” That, and a little bit of psychological fear, “Here there be dragons” at the edge of the world.

    • January 23, 2015 at 2:04 am

      Agreed. Now this one makes total sense. Hogs eat every trace, bones and all.

    • January 23, 2015 at 7:34 am
      Doug Dean

      Put a tattoo on their foreheads that says “I hate n—-rs” and drop them off in the middle of Ferguson.

      The best justice is poetic justice.

    • January 23, 2015 at 9:48 am

      Snake pit leaves bodies. Bodies leaves paperwork. Now a feral hog pit on the other hand… 😛

    • January 23, 2015 at 10:32 am

      Actually the likelihood is that they *do* believe in god. Last detailed study on that sort of thing indicated that 20% of Americans are “none of the above” in their religious affiliation. About 2.5 percentage points out of that twenty (1 out of 8 of the one out of five) actually said they were atheist or agnostic, another 2.5% wouldn’t but their description of what they think about religion indicates the term does fit. (“Atheist” has a social stigma attached to it because of all the ridiculous tripe some people put out about how they eat babies, etc.)

      Given that, most Democrats can’t be atheists, and its surpassingly unlikely that all DHS employees are. In point of fact they probably go to church and think of themselves as upstanding Christians.

      Which doesn’t mean they’re right about that.

      • January 23, 2015 at 10:35 am

        Ugh. Grammar and clarity fix: Second paragraph should read:

        “Given that five percent of Americans are, basically, atheists, and more than five percent are Democrats or even liberals (as the word is presently misused) they can’t all be atheists. It’s also highly unlikely, that every single DHS employee is an atheist. In point of fact they probably go to church and think of themselves as upstanding Christians just trying to keep America safe.”

      • January 23, 2015 at 1:11 pm

        Democrats – the die hard progressives, anyway – have the Almighty State as their God.

  • January 22, 2015 at 11:14 pm
    Snafu F. Ubar

    A free pass by wheedling?

  • January 22, 2015 at 11:35 pm

    Arrest them and chare with felonies. Can be a Fed LEO if convicted.

    • January 23, 2015 at 6:29 am
      Bill G

      Oh, yeah, they’d be treated SO well in prison.

    • January 23, 2015 at 9:44 am
      Bad Cyborg

      Fly in that ointment is Judges and Prosecutors are elected here’n Texas (and therefor are politicians) and ALL politicians have a closet chuck FULL o’ skeletons. No way in HELL they’d ever get formally CHARGED, much less go to trial. Government takes care of its minions when it suits its purposes.

      • January 23, 2015 at 10:13 am

        Texas voters would re-elect them for decades.

  • January 22, 2015 at 11:40 pm
    Just Sayin

    Where’s Joe, fell in whole and hogs ate em

  • January 23, 2015 at 12:12 am

    I agree with Just Sayin’ – lets Hogs eat ’em, then you could make bacon to wrap the jihadi’s that try to sneak across in before you put THEM in the snake pit…

  • January 23, 2015 at 12:36 am
    Alaska Paul

    I think that we letting our projecting of all evil on the hogtied DHS officers get in the way of gathering some good intelligence on their operations, chain of command, policies, and procedures. Snake pits or things like that will be useful tools in getting to the bottom of this unlawful activity.

    • January 23, 2015 at 12:53 am
      B Woodman

      Good point. Use the Fed’s EITs (Enhanced Interrogation Techniques) against them. I like it. THEN snake pit ’em.

    • January 23, 2015 at 10:21 am
      Grunt GI

      This idea has a lot of merit…in fact you could turn Naomi loose on them…nothing more terrifying than a Mossad trained sniper chick….who’s pregnant and hormonal…if the one thing doesn’t scare the shit out of them, the other surely will……

      • January 23, 2015 at 10:33 am

        Hmm, drop the Feds in the middle of the ranch, nothing but their skivvies, then let Naomi and Zed have a little fun with them on the way out……….

        Leave them alive, just scared to death.

      • January 23, 2015 at 12:52 pm

        The problem with that is, while we don’t know how many it will take, to over-run the Ranch, we know how many they are going to use. Seems there has to be a limit somewhere, but we’ve got a few instances from the past as reference, an it doesn’t look good for the non law breaking citizens.

  • January 23, 2015 at 12:57 am

    Sometimes allowing an enemy to live is more effective than his death. Not to sound too blood-thirsty, but damage to the spinal cord at C7 (read about use of a large, flat razor-sharp chisel in one novel) will produce a quadraplegic who may even have to be on a ventilator in order to breathe. I wouldn’t feel all that upset if a few of those Feds who killed the women and children at Waco suffered that fate. Sure would be good advertisement for finding an honest job instead of being a JBT. [Chris feel free to delete this if you think it’s over-the-top.]

    • January 23, 2015 at 2:01 am

      Nope, not over the top. Potentially inconvenient though. I like the “feed ’em to the hogs after the snakepit” concept. I bet the aroma coming out of the bed of Wade’s truck is pungent right about now.

    • January 23, 2015 at 8:52 am
      B Woodman

      Nice thought, making them into quadriplegics. But it would still then require too many pocket-picked stolen-by-force-of-gubbment tax dollars to keep them alive. And it might give incentive to the next group of DHS goons to go for another raid (Look what the bastards did to Joe and Jim! Let’s get’em!). Nope. Save the money. Into the Snake pit.

    • January 23, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      C7 is a bit low… they’d still have some arm movement and be able to breathe fairly effectively. C4, on the other hand….

  • January 23, 2015 at 1:00 am
    Wayne M

    There are no atheists in a fox hole or in the bed of Wade’s pickup.

  • January 23, 2015 at 2:22 am

    Very deep pit, quick lime. Fill. Car abandoned far away. Repeat as necessary. No innocent rattlers need be harmed in the making of this solution. Given enough time, destroying all sensory organs before rendering quadriplegic, trapping the offender in a helpless, uncommunicative existence would be appropriate … as well as serving as a truly frightening warning to the totalitarians. In WW2, the Norwegian Resistance abducted collaborators to remove their tongues by professional surgeons, then released them. Once the Resistance’s campaign became well known, the problem of quislings declined dramatically. Truly a creative & elegant solution!

    • January 23, 2015 at 8:08 am

      Don’t abandon the car – take it apart for parts, sandblast the body pieces then take them to a no-questions-asked recycler for some cash. Then use the cash to buy ammo.

      Longer-term thinking is important in these sorts of things.

  • January 23, 2015 at 2:50 am

    After one catch and release, can they get Don Portago to move the diplomatic cover from Fla. To Texas? Or does Chris have something new up his sleeve?

  • January 23, 2015 at 3:33 am

    Nope you can’t release them… the next crew they send will have the warrants and all associated paper work ready with all ‘is’ dotted and all ‘tees’ crossed… feed them to the pigs and leave their vehicle on the Mexican side of the border with the keys in it and the doors unlocked…

  • January 23, 2015 at 3:44 am

    let’s not underestimate the importance of “paperwork”. paperwork prevents skidmarks.

  • January 23, 2015 at 6:32 am
    Bill G

    Charge them with local and state crimes, and go for maximum penalties as a statement to a government that can send DHS to spy on citizens while stopping the Border Patrol from protecting these same people. And then claiming the border is safer than ever.

  • January 23, 2015 at 7:29 am

    Could pull a page from Tate’s book. Mark them with an L on the forehead and disable both their index fingers. Make them walk back to reflect on their sins.

  • January 23, 2015 at 7:49 am
    Dastardly Dan

    Damn I love you people!

  • January 23, 2015 at 9:53 am
    Bad Cyborg

    Love the “Don’t mess with Texas” sticker on the tailgate of Wade’s truck! Thanks, Chris.

    Now can we PLEASE get back to pix of Jan’s (I prefer Sam’s) or even Skye’s chichas? I like Wade as a character but I’d whole lot rather look at bodacious tatas. Can I get an “Amen!” from the peanut gallery?

    • January 23, 2015 at 10:23 am
      Grunt GI

      This proud member of the ta-ta peanut gallery will say “Amen”…Chris has done an excellent job of improving the artwork of Jan and her “mocha beans”…I know everyone loathes Skye, but I see a lot of potential for artwork there too………

      • January 23, 2015 at 8:14 pm
        John M

        Yeah – it would be kind of interesting to see how far around her body Skye’s “tribals” go…

  • January 23, 2015 at 10:07 am
    • January 23, 2015 at 11:50 am
      B Woodman

      Thank you for reminding me of Mike V’s “Absolved”.

  • January 23, 2015 at 10:09 am
    Unca Walt

    Sheriff should call the press in for a Press Conference AT THE TRUCK.

    Oh, dear… that would be a hoot.

    • January 23, 2015 at 11:04 am
      B Woodman


    • January 23, 2015 at 11:33 am

      THIS, plus DON’T let them out of the truck….make them give the presser inside the truck bed!

  • January 23, 2015 at 10:35 am
    Straight Shooter

    The “Don’t Mess With Texas” bumper sticker on Wade’s truck is a nice touch.

  • January 23, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    While I share the emotional outrage at the lawless actions of the feddies I find it hard to justify outright murder. (Now if they had let off even ONE round ….)
    Public Embarrassment and Humiliation (the press conference mentioned above) with national coverage would make their federal careers short and not so sweet. It would also instill an element of “doubt” in the other feddies that might be assigned to surveil the ranch in the future.

    I can picture it now … (Jump in any time Chris …)
    “So Joe how are things at the ranch looking?
    Just fine Jim, I can see the entire thing from right here at the front counter of the Dunked Doughnut.
    Excellent. I’ll see you in eight to relieve you.
    Great Jim and by the way watch out for the jalapena jelly … ‘smighty tasty.”

    If there had been even one round expended by the lawless feddies then I would be helping drag the battered and severely damaged carcasses to the hog pen myself. I own, among other things, a shovel.

    Don’t Mess With Texas
    from a-ways south of Austin

  • January 23, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    “Let us go. No paperwork swear to God.”
    DO NOT believe them for a second. Did they not also take an Oath to support and defend the Constitution of these united States?
    How do they honor that oath AND then violate the Bill of Rights daily?

  • January 23, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    Anyone know what the bumper sticker on the back of Wade’s pickup says?

    • January 23, 2015 at 6:43 pm
      Chris Muir

      Don’t Mess with Texas.

  • January 23, 2015 at 8:25 pm

    Gentlemen and Ladies….ah…nice to be in your company.

    But the reality of 2015 is the Feds, Newsmedia and Republicans (Hannity & Beck)—let alone Democrats— would crucify Zed, Sam and Wade and the Sherriff if they tried to arrest the “valiant” DHS/EPA/etc goons.

    Look at what they did to the Bundy Family in the “media”…..only we know the truth.

    Its nice to poke fun at these monsters and blow off steam….I thank Chris for doing it.

    Oh—-and did I mention that there are many fine sporting goods stores that have excellent prices for ammunition and firearms of all types? It is a Bonanza out there if you are looking to get into the sport or adding to a small collection that you have to share with like minded family and friends.

  • January 23, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    Really, all y’all would do that to a bunch of rattlesnakes?

  • January 23, 2015 at 9:16 pm
    Bert Hernandez

    I agree with Capn. Stick them with something to embarrass, to ridicule, or to make them look like asses and that will stick with them longer than anything, especially if it becomes public knowledge. That’s why I liked it when a time back, Zed zapped the Feds with the dart rifle and put them to sleep. None of them would have wanted to write the report that the subject of their surveillance got the drop on them, put the sleep on them, and then let them walk away.

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