Shut Up and Drive.
Girls Wanna Party.


  • April 26, 2016 at 9:09 pm
    Grunt GI

    Chris, you magnificent bastard…you’re really whetting our appetites for well done meat….and making us hungry for BBQ too….

    Well done… :)…it’s going to be a great week…and perhaps an equally awesome weekend.

    Just remember 12 schnitzengrubben is my limit…

    • April 26, 2016 at 9:24 pm

      What he said!

      I used to be able to do 12, in my youth, but 8 is the limit now.

    • April 27, 2016 at 12:25 am
      David Gonzalez


      As a GI, are you (by any chance) “channeling” Ol’ Blood ‘n’ Guts, when he
      (well, George C. Scott) yelled “Rommel, you magnificent bastard, I read yer BOOK!”? I wonder what B&G would think about our (sadly, soon-to-be-gone) FLYING tank (also known as the Thunderbolt II, the A-10 WartHog).

      • April 27, 2016 at 7:31 am
        Grunt GI

        Actually, I am an old Naval Aviator (yes ironic nom de plume I know), but I am a long time student of military history. And yes, George would be distressed about a great deal going on with our military these days. As someone who speaks airplanes, I think the A-10 in nearly irreplaceable for what it does, but is not “cool” enough for my zoomie breatheran.

        But I also think Chris is a master strategist, using deception and misdirection to keep all of us in suspense…dare I call it foreplay? Here we are in anticipation of his next move…waiting for him to spring out those…objects of desire.

      • April 27, 2016 at 9:47 am
        David Gonzalez

        Gudonya, Grunt! I started out in Neptunes, then flew in Whales during my ‘Nam service. Later on, Crusader Plane Captain—Admirals Bud Flagg (FLT 93 RIP) and John Cotton (COMNAVRESFOR) flew my ‘Saders. Whenever the zoomies get “uppity”, remind ’em that their AFRs require two miles of concrete, 500 ‘ wide. Meanwhile, our landing zone is only as long as theirs is wide—and it’s moving on three axes at once! : )

      • April 27, 2016 at 10:16 am

        I was a P-3 NFO for many years…NAS Brunswick deploying to NAS Sigonella, Roosey Roads, a little time in the desert in 1990, then a long exile on the USS Enterprise with a LOT of time in Carrier Box 4 in 1996 intermixed with a few shore tours to tell sea stories and drink beer.

        Ha, I do love to make fun of fighter pilots, especially Air Force fighter pilots, but as a P-3 guy, I personally did love my 6,000 feet of runway and 60,000 pounds of gas when flying.

      • April 27, 2016 at 11:12 am

        Hey GI, the Warthog is a beautiful and awesome airplane, and I think the USAF knows it. But the boys in blue are bleeding money with the JSF, so putting the A-10s at Davis-Monthan will free up some badly needed cash. I also dig the sound of those TF-34s, which my beloved Hoover used as well.

      • April 27, 2016 at 12:37 pm
        Old Codger

        I laughed when I heard than line in the movie. Actually Rommel read Patton’s (and Eisenhowr’s) book first. Little known fact but Patton and Ike worked out the basic principles of tank warfare at Ft Sam Houston in San Antonio,Tx between the 1st and 2nd world wars – using those tiny WWI Renault tanks. Granted Rommel made a significant contribution to military science but Patton and Ike laid the foundation.

  • April 26, 2016 at 9:26 pm
    Spin Drift

    You want some beans Mr. Taggert? No, but I work for Mel Brooks.


  • April 26, 2016 at 9:31 pm
    Grunt GI

    “They told me you was hung!”

    “And they was right!”

    Love that movie…so awesome, it couldn’t be made these days.

    • April 27, 2016 at 10:33 am

      It couldn’t be made then. John Wayne was asked to be in it, but he backed out because he thought the studios would never forgive him.

      “See Mel Brook’s Young Frankenstein; in Black and White – no offense…”

      • April 27, 2016 at 2:03 pm

        Oh, man, John Wayne would have been awesome…can you imagine him in the big fight scene at the end whomping on the little gay guy!

        Oh trading punch lines with Mel Brooks or Slim Pickens…awwww

      • April 27, 2016 at 2:04 pm

        OH, and Young Frankenstein is also one of my favorites:

        “Nice knockers”

        “Why, thank you doctor.”

  • April 26, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    I’m thinking Jan’s dress would result in malfunction of essential coverage if she bent over or stretched up. Unless maybe double sided tape?
    My long ago experiences, to my delight, says ‘failure’.

  • April 26, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    It’s hard to imagine the brisket Travis is making needs the assistance of Sam & Jan’s “assets” to boost sales but why mess with success?

  • April 26, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    To be fair, Jan’s former training in “marketing” would have been based on the “principles” of progressive ideology and academia, which is to say with a total lack of regard and understanding of the capitalist system that makes it possible for them all to exist in their enlightened and dismissive vacuum.

    Engineers, soldiers, ranchers, and entrepreneurs OTOH, understand that motivating your target market is based on attracting them to your premises, providing them with quality goods and service, and utilizing your ass-ets to keep them happy, generate word of mouth and earn return business.

    I know I’m sold already, just based on the promise of fine DD and Q.

    • April 26, 2016 at 10:07 pm
      Grunt GI

      Wait a minute, I thought DDQ was all about boobehs and well cooked meat…
      Surely even Jan understands that.

      After all “Sex sells”…any beginning marketing student understands that!

      • April 26, 2016 at 10:34 pm

        You mean the “objectification” of women, the murder of innocent animals, and the crass commercialization of human relationships? Please, you porch-sittin’, cousin humpin’, gun totin’ cretin.

      • April 26, 2016 at 10:41 pm
        Grunt GI

        Ummm. guilty…and I’m okay with that…BBQ, beer, and boobehs…make America Great Again!

      • April 27, 2016 at 12:13 am


      • April 27, 2016 at 12:32 am

        Right on!

      • April 27, 2016 at 7:59 am


      • April 27, 2016 at 6:19 am

        Marketing: The art of convincing someone to buy a product he does not need at a price he cannot afford, with no recourse when said product fails to meet the promised levels of performance.

        Zar Belk!

    • April 27, 2016 at 9:16 am

      Yes,I frequent a restaurant where the staff can wear whatever they want,and the girls who wear tank tops get more tips than the girls who button up.
      Not hard to figure out.

  • April 26, 2016 at 10:31 pm

    Hm. Brief one piece, perhaps. As Ringo observes, any sort of stretching makes the skirt head north and the top head south.



    • April 26, 2016 at 10:36 pm

      Makes some heads head north too. 🙂

  • April 26, 2016 at 10:36 pm

    Damn you, Muir, now I want DRIVING DIRECTIONS.

    • April 26, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      From the west coast head due east. From the east coast head due west.
      Follow your nose and meat somewhere in the middle.

      • April 26, 2016 at 11:32 pm
        B Woodman

        “Meat” in the middle, indeed. We have lots of BBQ joints in Our Fair City. Some of them even memorable. Pat’s, Morley’s, Famous Dave’s (franchise, but good). Uummmm. . . .even after a good dinner, and ready for bed, yer makin’ me hungry.

      • April 27, 2016 at 12:21 am

        Follow your meat? You randy wench!

      • April 27, 2016 at 1:48 am

        It ain’t the meat, it’s the motion.

      • April 27, 2016 at 9:46 am
        B Woodman

        There’s a bumper sticker I vaguely remember. Something about angle, dangle, heat, meat, ass, mass. . . .

      • April 27, 2016 at 6:19 am
        Bill G

        ‘Tis meat that it be so.

    • April 27, 2016 at 12:43 pm
      Old Codger

      Best BBQ in the Lone Star State (according to long standing consensus) is to be found in Lockhart. Served on butcher paper with a bottle of Shiner Bock on the side.

  • April 27, 2016 at 12:31 am

    I’m drooling, for multiple reasons.

  • April 27, 2016 at 4:08 am

    Ok, all I’ve got is hahahahahah! But well enjoyed!

  • April 27, 2016 at 5:54 am
    David M



    Soon please.

  • April 27, 2016 at 6:16 am
    JoAnn Abbott

    If the food is good, you don’t need to make your waitresses dress like streetwalkers.

    • April 27, 2016 at 9:13 am

      As in most things, (what do you NEED with that Wilson Colt, that ’55 Chevy, that 2-ct. diamond, that 4000 sf McMansion), need has nothing to do with it.

    • April 27, 2016 at 9:39 am
      Chris Muir

      C’mon.Women are meat, too.

      • April 27, 2016 at 9:47 am
        B Woodman

        Yes, but women are to be worshipped. . .oh. . . .wait. . . .

    • April 27, 2016 at 12:46 pm
      Old Codger

      But if there is no coercion involved and the women are willingly exploiting themselves, what’s the problem?

      • April 27, 2016 at 5:41 pm
        John Greer

        Obviously you can’t think like a spaghetti-headed Progressive.
        By their definition all exploitation is coerced, and only their coercion is Pure and True and Good!

  • April 27, 2016 at 6:22 am
    Bill G

    I’d imagine Jan planned the marketing, rather than being involved in carrying it out. (As the waitresses will be doing in more ways than one.)

  • April 27, 2016 at 8:13 am

    I believe they have determined the needs and wants of the potential customers (and many of the selves). Now as I recall from my business school classes and business, comes the selling part and the delivering of the product to the client base. Motivating that client base into action is relevant to achieving the sales objectives. How dry such interesting activity can be made to sound. 🙂

    • April 27, 2016 at 9:36 am

      Motivating that client base into action is relevant to achieving the sales objectives.

      Is that a long winded way of saying “Bring on the babes and BBQ?”

  • April 27, 2016 at 8:20 am

    Take care of that target market.

    • April 27, 2016 at 9:47 am
      B Woodman

      Keep that perverted Target out of this.

  • April 27, 2016 at 10:00 am
    Spin Drift

    I’ve got something for the DDQ commemorative T-shirt. (and its a slight rip off of one of Famous Dave’s T-shirts).

    “Make sure the lips you’re licking are your own, unless you’re married.”

    “Mongo jsst pawn in game of life.”

    P.S. Can we have a T-shirt saying contest?

    • April 27, 2016 at 1:43 pm

      “Can we have a T-shirt saying contest?”

      Won’t work; the best ones require graphics and placement.

      To wit:

      “Come on down to the DDQ”. Meh.

      But with strategic placement on a nicely occupied tee? Mmmm.

      • April 27, 2016 at 4:26 pm
        Spin Drift

        Yes we can, we don’t need no graphics. To wit:

        “The DDQ, best rub in town”

        “Even our butts come glazed”

        “Don’t blame me, you said you wanted your pork pulled”

        “Come lick the banana out of our cream pies”

        “BBQ sauce so hot you’ll have to wipe your ass with a snow cone”

        The Bard of Alabama

      • April 27, 2016 at 4:40 pm

        “we don’t need no graphics.”

        Don’t you listen to him, Chris.

        Come to think of it, we don’t need no sayings, just graphics.

        While we’re at it, we don’t really need no T-shirts either. 😉

        Chris Muir
        The Old Master of T&A

  • April 27, 2016 at 10:08 am

    Hey, Mr. Muir —

    How about an early Christmas present for all us Neanderthal, red-blooded, overtly hetereosexual male knuckle-draggers…

    A couple or three drawings of Sam and Jan and Naomi in their DDQ waitress outfits!? You could put them under a passing rain shower, if you needed to cool things down a bit.

    Hmmm… besides cooling skin (an obvious visual benefit), would a rain shower also dissolve double-sided tape? Might have the makings of a good ol’ science fair project — for us Neanderthal, etc. folks mentioned above. Just thinkin’…

    • April 27, 2016 at 10:18 am
      Chris Muir

      A detailed grope group shot will be available in the dbd membership support drive coming up June 1st

      • April 27, 2016 at 6:02 pm

        “And the peasants rejoiced!”

      • April 27, 2016 at 6:46 pm
        Old Codger

        I hope it’s not too far up the goody chain. I try to pitch in every year but this whole being retired and living on SS sucks donkey penii.

  • April 27, 2016 at 11:58 am
    West Rhino

    Well, the lot are already packin, so again hardware (so to speak) apt to go un-noticed.

  • April 27, 2016 at 6:44 pm
    Old Codger

    OT: Former Republican Speaker of the House Denny Hasturt was sentenced to 15 months in prison for being a serial child molester. Who does a Speaker have to piss off to get jail time? He was one of the elites. Course, if he’d been a Dhimicrat I doubt the story would have ever come out.

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