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Save the Whales.

88 Comments

  • April 30, 2020 at 12:05 am
    Merle

    how much voltage does it take to make fat catch on fire??? 🙂

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 3:32 am
      Too Tall

      It’s not the voltage, but the current. 40 amps ought to do it.

      REPLY
      • April 30, 2020 at 3:02 pm
        Punta Gorda

        And 0.1+ amps across the chest can cause cardiac arrest.

      • May 1, 2020 at 12:14 am
        caved1ver01

        Land whale or not relatively low current or electron pressure, i.e., 0.25 amps will stop a human heart.

    • April 30, 2020 at 8:24 am
      Old Codger

      Tasers and stun-guns work by inducing paralysis via pulsed >100 KV voltages. There’s essentially no current so they don’t (as a rule) kill but the extreme voltages induce temporary paralysis and usually unconsciousness. Unfortunately for folks (like me) with pacemakers and ICDs (implanted cardiac defibrillator like Dick Cheney) the voltage pulses induce current in the wires leading to the inside of the heart. Almost certainly lethal at least in part because by the time the people around the one who was tased realize that something is wrong, the person has already been in cardiac arrest too long.

      REPLY
      • April 30, 2020 at 6:16 pm
        Steve

        Sam needs to be pretty careful here. Fat is a fairly decent insulator, with the result that tasers can cause obese people an enraging level of pain without actually disabling them.

  • April 30, 2020 at 12:08 am
    John M.

    Whoa – that’s a shocker! (Sorry couldn’t help myself)

    I know Sam carries some interesting toys, but where does she hide THAT!

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 12:50 am
      Fox2!

      She’ll never tell.

      I think someone mentioned Tamara Long the other day.

      REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 1:57 am
      Mike-SMO

      Is that set to “Stun” or “Medium Rare”?

      I think that in most jurisdictions, Sam is already in “Call the Lawyer” country. Then, there is “Karen” to watch out for.

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      • April 30, 2020 at 3:20 am
        Saaruuk

        Personally….I’d prefer “Flambe”.

      • April 30, 2020 at 9:02 pm
        Too Tall

        I vote for “Plaid.”

      • April 30, 2020 at 3:37 am
        Too Tall

        Sam looks particularly fetching in panel number three.

      • April 30, 2020 at 6:30 am
        GWB

        She does!

      • April 30, 2020 at 3:39 am
        Too Tall

        I suspect the ice cream shop proprietor has already advised Tucker to bring the Hazmat wagon. Otherwise, Tucker is going to need a whole lot more plastic sheeting in the backseat of his squad car.

      • April 30, 2020 at 7:25 am
        Punta Gorda

        Hazmat indeed. Given the location of the darts, that should produce a spasmodic response of the sphincter. Coupled with sympathetic contraction of all nearby muscle groups, you might be in a hazard zone if the spandex fails to contain the pressure…

      • April 30, 2020 at 8:33 am
        Old Codger

        Actually, her defense would be that she was simply defending her minor children from an assault. IMS, Texas law makes an assault of a minor by an adult a felony. Texas law (Penal Code Chapter 9) also allows a 3rd party to use force to defend another in any situation where they would be justified in using force to defend themselves. Panel 1 clearly shows Triggly-Puff’s hands in an aggressive, threatening posture. No jury in that part of Texas (Houston, Austin, Dallas/Ft Worth and San Antonio are different) would convict Sam. I seriously doubt the DA for Presidio County would even consider prosecuting Sam under the circumstances.

    • April 30, 2020 at 7:56 am
      Richard

      Don’t you folks remember the “Convention” at the Seniors planet in the “Number of the Beast”?

      REPLY
      • May 2, 2020 at 12:44 am
        Jefferson A Selvy

        Lazarus is one of the reasons I took up the kilt.

    • April 30, 2020 at 9:16 am
      MasterDiver

      Same place Minerva Long packs her Blaster (or was it a candy bar?)

      Zar Belk!

      REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 12:16 am
    Kafiroon

    Give it all it’s got Sam. That there land whale has a whole lot of blubber to fry.

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 12:17 am
    MAJ Arkay

    Well, now, Fatty’s hand was way within the social distancing barrier, so everything its partner claimed about the twins applies to it, too.

    I am curious, though, as to which town this is taking place. Not a whole lot of them in the ranch’s vicinity, and most of them would not tolerate these two creatures, much less have one on the city/town council.

    Nice to see Sam’s not puttin’ up with their crap.

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 12:57 am
      Fox2!

      I would think any nearby town would know not to mess with the denizens of the DD.

      REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 6:43 am
      GWB

      Karens are always on the town council. They start out by ruining HOAs, then graduate to telling the neighboring neighborhoods what to do, then to telling the whole town. And, they have the energy and desire to actually run and defeat some good ol’ boy. (Always with some plan to ‘fix’ things and appeal to every single person who ever said “there ought to be a law!”)

      REPLY
      • April 30, 2020 at 10:58 am
        Too Tall

        They detour through the school board as well to raise your taxes and indoctrinate children to be good little Progtard DildoCrats.

    • April 30, 2020 at 7:28 am
      Punta Gorda

      “Nice to see Sam’s not puttin’ up with their crap.”

      She will be soon, just from the orientation of that blow-hole and the electric discharge soon to hit the anus.

      REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 4:30 pm
      JTC

      They anywhere near Austin? Might as well be in NYC.

      Turn that whole criminal/victim dynamic upside down real quick.

      REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 12:17 am
    Ozymandius

    Sam’s shown a lot of patience with that fat cow. Far more than she deserves

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 12:19 am
    Hotrod Lincoln

    Go ahead and squeeze, Sam- – – – – -where those probes are sticking, there will be smoked ham on the menu!

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 12:33 am
    John M.

    I’m not that familiar with Tasers, but I thought once you fired the needles the charge was automatically applied… anyone?

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 12:37 am

      Not until you press the trigger

      REPLY
      • April 30, 2020 at 4:34 am
        MRAD

        I’m not sure about the civilian models, but the standard police issue X26 series, when the probes hit, they are electrified for 20 seconds. A subsequent pull of the trigger will give a second dose of “Edison Medicine “.

    • April 30, 2020 at 12:58 am
      WayneM

      Taser is a brand name of a manufacturer of conducted energy weapons. Very popular with the police departments.

      It depends on the model but most conducted energy weapons need trigger pull to energize. I heard of a model that discharges automatically but I suspect that could be a liability issue.

      Pulling the barbs out of Lardo won’t be fun…

      REPLY
      • April 30, 2020 at 1:19 am
        John M

        As I said, I don’ t know that much about them, bu when I see them used on the “real” police shows, it always looks like they’re doing the “Electron Dance” as soon as the needles hit.

        I do know that once you fire the needles, that part needs to be replaced.

        Xir can pull her own needles, I wouldn’t “go there” for all the gold in Fort Knox… Maybe Karen could help.

      • April 30, 2020 at 5:55 am
        Oldarmourer

        Probably an improved model designed by Javier 😉
        With voltage increasing the longer you hold the trigger
        Some models let you use the probes without firing them
        as a ‘contact’ CED, or a ‘come along’..or just for a display
        Sometimes seeing the spark deescalates a situation
        aaaand sometimes it escalates it…
        depends on if you want a reason to pull the trigger through

      • April 30, 2020 at 2:21 am
        pyrodice

        They go by Axon now, and they’re the name you see stamped on bodycam video. Applied for a job with those guys a couple years ago. Probably a good investment!

      • April 30, 2020 at 7:06 am
        eon

        “Taser” was actually originally an acronym. Thomas A. Swift’s Electric Rifle.

        In reaching for the twins, Triggly violated not only the “social distancing” she and her Alpha were trying to “enforce”, but also a little statute called “felony menacing”. Or as we used to call it, the “keep your hands to yourself” law.

        If she’d actually grabbed them, that would be “simple assault” in most states.

        Either one used to be good for 30 days in the local lockup.

        clear ether

        eon

    • April 30, 2020 at 10:06 am
      Saaruuk

      The newer models have a “two-stage” trigger. The first stage fires the darts, continuing to pull to stage 2 sends the voltage. Think of the FN P-90, pull the trigger to the first stop, one shot at a time. Pull it all the way…..full auto.

      REPLY
      • April 30, 2020 at 11:35 am
        WayneM

        Exactly… and Sam has great trigger discipline…

  • April 30, 2020 at 1:09 am
    Pamela

    That does not look like a bat out of hell

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 3:41 am
      Too Tall

      It sure isn’t Paradise by the Dashboard Lights, at least not until the last verse where everybody is praying for the end of time.

      REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 1:10 am
    NotYetInACamp

    Meatloaf. Obscure to the xer’s references. Actor and singer before the time of the whelping of the two xers. There may be some charged electric dance steps involved. Xer does not need toast.

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 10:41 am
      Pamela

      Nothing for Love or Money would a sane person do that…

      REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 1:00 pm
      Malatrope

      Meatloaf was also obnoxiously fat. Good music, though.

      REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 1:18 am
    Pete231

    5…4…3…2…1… Set the magic pixies free now !

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 1:21 am
    DogByte6RER

    Sam charges up the electric pig … and, goodbye garbage!

    https://www.thefreedictionary.com/electric+pig

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 2:48 am
    cz93x62

    Ah, the Edison Medicine. I would love to have had such toys when I was pushing Holsteins in Riverside County. BWCs would have been nice, too–I had to get by with micro-cassette recorders back then. It was SO NICE to unplug a humbug Tale of Drunkenness And Cruelty citizen complaint with a recorded version of the actual conversation. A real script-flipper, just like BWCs are.

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 3:21 am
    Too Tall

    Um, Sam is a lefty? Or is her right hand holding the heavy artillery?

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 6:51 am

      Sam, being a responsible gun owner, likely practices with her off hand to become equally proficient. It also means she doesn’t need to turn her body in order to hit her target.

      REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 11:54 pm
      Henry

      I assume it’s just a function of which holster is on which side.

      REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 3:29 am
    Too Tall

    1. Can’t miss that target.

    2. Modern textile engineering is amazing. There is a hefty amount of stress testing of the tensile strength of Triggly Puff’s / Meatloaf’s clothing in the second panel. Only problem is that under that load, there are no graceful degradations. The failure will be extremely kinetic.

    3. I am reminded of Pamela’s comment sometime ago about “a forty year old, 300 pound, mother of 12, stuffed into size 00 yoga pants. Not a becoming look at all.

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 5:12 am
      Bill G

      Triggly Puff! That’s the name I couldn’t get back to! Thank you, Too Tall. It’s exactly what I was thinking of on the appearance of this one here.

      REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 2:01 pm
      Pamela

      I saw one of those the other day walking down the street. You know the yoga pants are too tight and way past being used as a rag when you can see a large heart tattoo on the wearer’ more than ample backside.

      REPLY
      • April 30, 2020 at 8:55 pm
        Too Tall

        You mean you could read her tattoos in Braille at 100 yards?

      • April 30, 2020 at 9:35 pm
        Pamela

        Yeppers.

  • April 30, 2020 at 4:27 am
    steveb919

    Burning human flesh smells just like pork burning. There must be a stench in the air there. Must smell just like when the pig caught fire while cooking it. That will teach me to pay attention. What a waste of 100 + Lbs of going to be good eating. On the other hand the porker in the picture would do well to get a little roasted.

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 4:29 am
      steveb919

      My bad Sam didn’t pull the trigger yet. Damn.

      REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 10:31 am
      Richard

      Is that why it’s called “Long Pig”.

      REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 5:04 am
    warhorse

    I am trying to figure out why I read “not good” in the voice of the FPSrussia guy.

    wasn’t that in some game ad a few years back?

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 5:46 am
    Oldarmourer

    Wit until bushhog there gets the bill for the piercings…

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 6:52 am
    GWB

    The girls have already had to pull back from the whale’s reach (see the girl* in pink’s hair? as if she’s suddenly moving backward?), so she’s already triggered (pun intended) defense-of-others.

    I have to wonder just how Chris is going to draw the next few panels, if she pulls that trigger. 🙂

    (* How do I tell which girl is which? They’re twins, and I can’t tell them apart.)

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 8:40 am
      Too Tall

      Mari (reddish brown hair, brown eyes) is in the pink top. Kiko (brown hair, grey/blue eyes) is in the dark top.

      REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 7:08 am
    Jack

    Sam’s a typical Mom. She Wolf X Mama Grizz.

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 7:35 am
    Paul

    Mama Grizz with Lipstick too !

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 7:37 am
      Paul

      I also had to go back to 4-27 to just refresh my eyes !

      REPLY
      • April 30, 2020 at 7:55 am
        Punta Gorda

        I think that’s Naomi. A different hottie, but all DD affiliated women tend to be stunners with similar morphology.

  • April 30, 2020 at 7:41 am
    Punta Gorda

    “DON’T TASE MY HOLE!”

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 8:08 am
      Punta Gorda

      Honestly though, if you notice the left buttock is framed by the darts. My guess is that it will have the greatest charge when they are activated and have the greatest spasm. This will likely cause acceleration of to the cows right as she involuntary lurches forward when her left leg pushes out uncontrollably, probably loosing traction and flopping to the deck in a convulsing mass of violently twitching flab.

      REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 8:43 am
      Too Tall

      You win the interwebs for the day! I’ve been trying to figure out how the Don’t Tase Me, Bro meme fits here.

      REPLY
      • April 30, 2020 at 9:28 am
        MasterDiver

        A little late for that. I don’t think “I wuz jist funnin’ wi th ’em” is gonna play here.

        Zar Belk!

  • April 30, 2020 at 7:44 am
    JT in Wyoming

    I can’t speak to the models sold for purchase by the general public, but the TASER I carried as a police officer automatically initiate a 5 second charge when the trigger is pulled to fire the darts. If the safety is engaged, the charge is interrupted. Unless that happens, one pull of the trigger generates a 5 charge.
    TASER (stands for Thomas A. Swift’s Electric Rifle – a 1911 novel) devices sold to the general public can have up to a 30 second fire-it-and-forget- it type of discharge. The idea being that in a self-defense situation, one fires the TASER into the attacker then drops the TASER and takes off running. The manufacturer advertises free replacement in that case as their way of discouraging staying around for further physical confrontation.

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    • April 30, 2020 at 7:34 pm
      eon

      Incidentally, here is the original 1911 story;

      http://www.gutenberg.org/files/3777/3777-h/3777-h.htm

      cheers

      eon

      REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 9:43 pm
      Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH B Woodman

      I did not know that TASER was a Tom Swift acronym.
      I remember reading those “Tom Swift and his………” series of books as a preteen. My dad’s collection. Don’t remember the dates, but it seems to me that they were from the 20s & 30s. Been a long time since I remember reading those. I like to think those books pointed me in the direction I am today.

      REPLY
      • April 30, 2020 at 11:20 pm
        eon

        Here you go;

        Books by Appleton, Victor on Project Gutenberg;

        http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/author/267

        Incidentally, I grew up on the 1950s-70s “Tom Swift Jr. ” books, in which Tom Sr. often appeared.

        cheers

        eon

  • April 30, 2020 at 9:39 am
    DAVID MONTGOMERY

    Ummm… it should say 4/30/2020

    I know it is easy to forget what day of Wuhan House Arrest & Socialist Test Run it is…

    Be well & Stay well…
    DBM

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 10:30 am
    Richard

    This is one case where Triggaly Puff needs to be “Triggered”.

    But it might cause a relaxation of certain muscles when the reaction is done. It’s a good thing that everyone has masks available.

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 12:00 pm

    I love the last panel, where Sam is in a pose that would look good on the paperback cover of a noir detective story…

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  • April 30, 2020 at 12:03 pm
    JSStryker

    Sam fire up the song “Safety Dance” and see if you can get the Taser to make her to dance to it.

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  • April 30, 2020 at 12:30 pm
    Espien

    Light ‘er up

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 12:33 pm
    Pamela

    That wide load needs caution signs and port and starboard running lights.

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 2:29 pm
      John

      And a chase car.

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      • April 30, 2020 at 9:02 pm
        Too Tall

        With a huge SLOW sign. Triggly Puff does not get weighed. One measures Xir’s displacement.

  • April 30, 2020 at 3:55 pm
    Wulfenite

    Once the fuse has been initiated, the proper form is to announce “Fire in the Hole!”

    De-Con is going to be ridiculous, so run for your lives.

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 6:07 pm

    If this rolls over to tomorrow, someone’s going to be calling “Mayday!”

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  • April 30, 2020 at 6:52 pm
    James F Gemind

    MY EYES!!!!

    No one should subjected to view.

    Need brain bleach to remove the 2nd panel…

    I need kittens!

    REPLY
    • April 30, 2020 at 7:06 pm
      Pamela

      Playing with soft and furry does help

      REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 8:00 pm
    Punta Gorda

    “Squeal Bitch” should be the next words out of Sam’s mouth.

    REPLY
  • April 30, 2020 at 11:43 pm
    ottersmith

    Not only are the girls withdrawing, they appear to be crying. Emotional distress?

    I’m sure she’s practiced left, right, and both, hands and eyes.

    REPLY

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