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Pardon Me!

66 Comments

  • August 24, 2016 at 10:01 pm
    interventor

    Skye needs to practice the old drill sergeant’s exercise — grab right ear with right hand, grab left ear with left hand. Now, remove head from duffel bag.

  • August 24, 2016 at 10:14 pm
    Ozymandias

    You don’t need GPS to find Skye’s head, you need a proctologist.

    • August 24, 2016 at 10:36 pm
      DASTARDLY DAN

      The medical term is Cranial-Rectal Inversion.
      A sphincter spasm could choke her to death.

      • August 25, 2016 at 6:15 am
        Bill G

        Drat! And all along I’ve been calling it Cranial-Anal Superpositioning.
        Thanks for the correct term.

      • August 25, 2016 at 6:31 am
        GWB

        That’s a good term, too!

      • August 25, 2016 at 9:57 am
        Old Codger

        When I had stripes on my sleeve, I allus heard it called anal-cranial inversion. Or we’d offer the person a raffle ticket (to get a tractor to …). We’d also suggest somebody needed a chrystalectomy. Thats an operation to replace the skin of the abdomen with plate glass so the afflicted can see where they’re going.

      • August 25, 2016 at 9:41 am
        Old Grunt

        When I was in the Army we used to call it being in rectal defilade!

      • August 25, 2016 at 10:08 am
        John D. Egbert

        The resultant condition is known as visurectalysis; the victim suffers from a shitty outlook.

      • August 25, 2016 at 4:49 pm

        I always said recto-cranial inversion. Ah hell, they’re all good.

  • August 24, 2016 at 10:16 pm
    Pamela

    She needs time to find herself? At how old?
    The day the stick shows a plus, your head had better be screwed on straight.

    • August 25, 2016 at 12:51 am

      Spot on, Pamela, spot on.

    • August 25, 2016 at 2:34 am
      JSStryker

      I know a place she could go to find herself, the military, it would take about the first 10 seconds of boot camp to get her attitude adjusted.

      • August 25, 2016 at 8:58 am
        Unca Walt

        There It Is.

      • August 25, 2016 at 10:07 am
        Old Codger

        Sorry, JSS, UW, but I saw it time and time again while on active duty. I have no idea WHY they enlisted but boot camp – USAF boot camp – failed utterly to sufficiently adjust that sort’s attitude. Perhaps MCRD or P.I. could do it but I doubt it. Especially these days.

        Nope, folks, I don’t believe 10 YEARS of boot camp – MARINE boot camp back in the 60s & 70s – could do it. You may not know it, but they have found structural differences between the brains of libs and conservatives. Whether they are the cause or the result of basic world-view differences is unknown but the difference is visible on MRI scans.

      • August 25, 2016 at 7:27 pm
        FJZappa

        the difference is visible on MRI scans.

        Yep – one is hollow.

  • August 24, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    Good one Ozy.

    True one Pam.

    I give a pass to Skye for a lot of her misguidedness, figuring her naivety has allowed various and sundry commies and charismatics to make her believe in unicorn farts and free lunches. And of course there’s that mesmerizing upside down spread-eagle (damn you Chris). But.

    Any mother who puts herself before her children should just be killed.

    • August 25, 2016 at 12:52 am

      TANSTAFFL.

    • August 25, 2016 at 6:48 am
      tomstockton

      Wait, what… unicorn farts aren’t real??

      Hahahahahahahaha!!

      • August 25, 2016 at 7:54 am
        PaulS

        Pretty sure they make wind power profitable.

      • August 25, 2016 at 8:42 am
        MasterDiver

        No, that’s government subsidies, plus the inflated rates charged to consumers.

        Zar Belk!

  • August 24, 2016 at 10:46 pm
    KenH

    Short of a kick in the ass, and thrown from the vehicle while moving, this 60s-era retardo-bullshit has to end. GROW UP, you useless skank

  • August 24, 2016 at 10:50 pm

    When is someone going to give Skye a kick in the seat of her self-centered pants?
    And what is that (Kenworth? Mack? Peterbilt?) doing up ahead there? Inquiring minds want to know what it’s hauling!

    • August 25, 2016 at 10:26 am
      Old Codger

      “what is that [18-wheeler] doing up ahead there? Inquiring minds want to know what it’s hauling!”

      Could be most anything, Delilah. Nothing – necessarily – suspicious about a semi on a state highway. They’re likely on a state highway and I normally travel on the interstate but I’ve driven through that part of the state numerous times. Eighteen-wheelers are often more numerous than automobiles. But my Dad was a trucker and he said almost everything spends at least part of its journey in a semi-trailer.

      • August 25, 2016 at 7:31 pm
        FJZappa

        SH 169 in Texas, about half way between the towns of Presidio and Plata. Might even be a smuggling route.

    • August 25, 2016 at 3:08 pm
      John Greer

      After her abuse at the hands of her German boyfriend I’m convinced that such therapy would have no effect. If anything we might hear her ask for more.

  • August 24, 2016 at 10:54 pm

    A few years ago, at my sister’s funeral, her old school friend started a conversation with me. She said she had been married, but left her husband of 40 years to find herself. I realize that I am an old grump, but have been married to the same girl for 50 years. I patiently explained to her that philosophers through the ages have avered that to find yourself, you must look inward. She was rather insulted. That ain’t bad coming from an old grumpy engineer.

    • August 25, 2016 at 1:01 am
      Heltau

      So, this woman had turned into a libturd before she became 40.
      Fracken libturds!!!!

      • August 25, 2016 at 10:33 am
        Old Codger

        Heltau, you missed it.
        “She said she had been married, but left her husband of 40 years to find herself.”

        The key phrase is “husband of 40 years” meaning she had been married for FOUR DECADES when she up and went off “in search of herself”. Assuming she married around the age of twenty, that means the ditz was roughly SIXTY when she ran off to chase moonbeams and sniff unicorn shit.

        OCB, I might have added that if she hadn’t “found herself” by age 60 then she was damned unlikely to do so now.

  • August 24, 2016 at 10:54 pm
    Trent

    Why are they that far south of the boarder? Feels like there is an East wind coming….

  • August 24, 2016 at 11:15 pm
    eon

    Hey Skye, Werner Erhard and Eric Berne called from an ashram on Big Sur in the Seventies.

    Eric says he wants his Transactional Analysis back.

    Werner says to get your head out of your fourth point of contact, already.

    clear ether

    eon

  • August 24, 2016 at 11:31 pm

    BTW, anybody run those coordinates?

    • August 24, 2016 at 11:54 pm
      Cuttersnapper

      On Hwy 169 fifteen miles south of Plata

    • August 25, 2016 at 12:17 am
      Ozymandias

      It’s pretty much in the middle of nowhere, Texas. Go about 16 miles due north of Redford and then head 5 miles east

    • August 25, 2016 at 12:18 am
      rickn8or
      • August 25, 2016 at 1:02 am
        CB

        Thank you rickn8or You saved me the trouble of doing that myself. I saw that US Hwy 67 is nearby. When they built 67 they cut right through the middle of my families homestead in Missouri. I grew up to the sound of tractor trailers downshifting on the hills and the occasional car wreck. That and fixing fences when cars would run off the road.

      • August 25, 2016 at 1:32 am

        rickn8or, you are a nerd’s nerd, thank you. 😉

        I tell ya, I would have to need need a Halloween costume mighty bad to drive three hours to a CVS in Odessa…no wonder they’ve been on the road for three days. 😉

      • August 25, 2016 at 7:10 am
        gafling

        That part of Texas used to be my territory when I was first starting out my professional career. Somewhere along one of the county roads south of Hwy 90 is an old stagecoach way-station that is still maintained by the state. It is a two, maybe three room adobe building about 40′ by 30′ with a stable attached to one side of the building. What is most notable is that on the outside of the east side of the building is a row of metal rings set into the wall. It seems that when the stagecoach was transporting criminals and stopped at the station overnight, the bad guys were shackled there. They spent the night outside with the scorpions and the snakes, rain or shine.

      • August 25, 2016 at 11:00 am
        Old Codger

        That’s way out in the part of the state once described as “miles and miles and miles of nothing but miles and miles and miles”. A missionary I got to be friends in Japan once told me that he brought his Japanese (Born/raised in metro Tokyo) wife for a visit (He was from around Odessa) she looked around and exclaimed, “What do they do with all this land?!” “Not a whole lot CAN be done with it was his reply. She had never seen so much open country before in her life. Said it made her uncomfortable. When he refired from the mission field they settled in Nashville. The mountains made her feel somewhat more at home. Ain’t much relatively horizontal real estate in Japan. What there is almost always has a building or a rice paddy on it.

    • August 25, 2016 at 6:30 am
      GWB

      I put it in Big Bend National Park. I’ve been there once, looooong ago. (I’ve flown over it once or twice – at least once not very high off the ground.)

  • August 24, 2016 at 11:41 pm
    B Woodman

    Reminds me of the joke about the lost balloonist hovering near the farmer, asking where he is? So the farmer proceeds to tell the balloonist, in detail, where he is. WHich is not what the balloonist wants to know. They trade barbs and insults about the other’s political leanings. With this ending:

    The farmer below responded, “You must be a Democrat.”
    “I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

    “Well,” said the farmer, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re
    going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
    You made a promise which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people
    beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same
    position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

  • August 24, 2016 at 11:48 pm
    H_B

    Soooo…how does Red keep that phone from reporting her location to the Feds that are perpetually trying to track them?

    • August 25, 2016 at 12:00 am
      rickn8or

      H_B, Javier has already taken care of that.

    • August 25, 2016 at 6:27 am
      GWB

      Finding your position via GPS gives nothing to anyone. If the app sends that info out, then you’re given away. You might know this, but lots of people don’t. Using your GPS also doesn’t use *any* of your data on your plan – downloading the maps to show you what it translates to, *does*.

      (Tracking the cell signal across the radio cells is a whole other matter.)

  • August 25, 2016 at 12:57 am

    Cute. Hwy 169.

  • August 25, 2016 at 1:00 am
    Brodder

    Highway 169 outside redford texas

  • August 25, 2016 at 1:48 am
    somejoe

    There is a way to know that I heard once or twice in the military, and if anyone should know where her head is at, it is Skye.

  • August 25, 2016 at 2:15 am
    Daniel Allen Butler

    Um, guys, is anybody paying attention to that semi approaching Sam’s pickup? Doesn’t exactly look like all of it is in its own lane….

    • August 25, 2016 at 6:22 am
      Bill G

      Perspective, I think. It’s right tire looks to be in the light (traveled) section of it’s lane.

  • August 25, 2016 at 4:40 am
    Cameron

    If you can’t find enlightenment where you are standing, you aren’t going to find it on a mountaintop.

  • August 25, 2016 at 6:01 am
    The Pontificator

    Waiting for the day Sam and Zed give Skye her permanent walking papers.

  • August 25, 2016 at 6:24 am
    Bill G

    It takes more than reproductive organs to make a parent.
    But that is all Skye has.

    • August 25, 2016 at 11:40 am
      Old Codger

      It also takes more than a double mastectomy, a hysterectomy and labioplasty to make a man. Just as it takes more than an orchiectomy, penectomy, scrotoplasty and mammoplasty to make a woman (Bruce Jenner) but that’s the world in which we live today. If being sane was a crime, do you think there’d be enough evidence to convict most libs?

      Me neither.

  • August 25, 2016 at 7:12 am
    Willik

    WOW, those coordinates are in the north arm of the Big Bend Ranch State Park (Texas)!

    Talk about in the middle of nowhere!

  • August 25, 2016 at 7:24 am
    Todd Wilson

    Hey Chris – Thanks for that one! Keep up the good work!

    T.

  • August 25, 2016 at 7:33 am
    Kirk Webb

    A little way south of Marfa Texas, an artist colony that used to be a sleepy western town before it was “discovered.” Skye would feel at home there.
    I used to go there to practice astronomy.

  • August 25, 2016 at 7:49 am
    Pamela

    I don’t think that Semi is carrying anything that was part of NAFTA.
    Aiding and abetting slavery and terrorism are still illegal at this time.
    It’s one of those “just don’t get caught” things and “lie like a rug” if you do depending upon who you are.

  • August 25, 2016 at 8:29 am
    'TreHammer

    I think DBD is about to take a sudden turn

  • August 25, 2016 at 8:29 am

    As I figured, it’s south of Alpine.

    Alpine, TX has an observatory and the town of Alpine welcomes amateur astronomers who want dark skies, as well as the solar eclipse crowd. The storms coming out of the Big Bend area are impressive and they do get snow in the winter so pack your cold-weather clothing.

    It’s beautiful country. You can almost see into forever if you’re in the right spot.

  • August 25, 2016 at 12:07 pm
    bill

    No 18 wheelers on Hwy 169 NE of OJ.

  • August 25, 2016 at 1:36 pm
    NotYetInACamp

    They must be still trucking them in. Obama has given orders to not stop them, and , to finish the coyte process. What a country. The guy in the white house is a coyote. And now the rest of the story.

    Pretty much this still goes. It was a year ago.

    Up to 30,000,000 can legally be kicked out using existing law. More if the Congress passes a law defining certain options.
    Right now Trump can meet with the Mexican President and dictate the terms of Mexico’s surrender in the war that Mexico has openly waged against the USA for decades. As Trump says that we are good people, we can let some of the good people back in and force Mexico to keep the bad.
    (This article is one year old today. GO TRUMP!)
    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2015/08/25/trump_vs_jorge_ramos_on_birthright_citizenship_wall_building_a_building_thats_95_stories_tall_more_difficult.html

  • August 25, 2016 at 2:26 pm
    Pamela

    By chance has Naomi added some fun little additions to the drones?
    Plus tunes, you need some really great tunes.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAzdgU_kpGo

    • August 25, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      Excellent choice!

  • August 25, 2016 at 3:58 pm
    Pete in NC

    Late to the party (sorry) but my brother the engineer likes to call Skye’s condition “examining her tonsils from the wrong end of the alimentary canal.”

  • August 25, 2016 at 4:27 pm
    Dave

    And there is no street view. Kind of thing we’d expect in Africa, but Texas?

  • August 25, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    BTW, doing the satellite picture of the area on Google maps, WTF are they doing out there anyway? Where exactly IS the DD?

  • August 25, 2016 at 6:32 pm
    Unicorn

    Engineer

15 49.0138 8.38624 1 0 4000 1 https://www.daybydaycartoon.com 300 0