Absolutely Nothing.
Roman Nockwell?


  • December 24, 2018 at 12:10 am

    NORAD alerted, too, I’m sure.

    Merry Christmas, CM and everyone.



    • December 24, 2018 at 12:27 am

      NORAD should not need to be alerted for baking. Surrounding fire departments yes, but not NORAD.

      • December 24, 2018 at 1:05 am

        Does Sam share any DNA with Crankshaft? He manages to prove a fire hazard every time he grills.

    • December 24, 2018 at 12:47 am

      Start cooking the night before, then NORAD’s Santa Tracker will suddenly have two different bogeys. Wait, is she also doing cookies and a pie?

      Merry Christmas to y’all!

  • December 24, 2018 at 12:13 am
    Too Tall

    Merry Christmas to the entire DBD nation.

  • December 24, 2018 at 12:14 am

    I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.

  • December 24, 2018 at 12:22 am

    Now how the frick will she get an oven or its contents safely (?) into orbit?
    I await the resolution.

    • December 24, 2018 at 7:55 am

      Is it a gas stove?
      But, there would be much more mayhem involved, as the oven isn’t in the barn or outside.

      Merry Christmas, Chris, everyone!

    • December 24, 2018 at 7:27 pm

      Well crap now they’ve got you having actual identity issues. I mean we all know who you are, just hope you don’t lose track of it yourself.

      JK, the question mark is funny. Have a great Christmas P. 🙂

  • December 24, 2018 at 12:27 am
    Delilah T

    Merry Christmas to all who gather here.

  • December 24, 2018 at 12:30 am

    Merry Christmas to my DBD family!

  • December 24, 2018 at 1:04 am
    Deplorable B Woodman

    Love that last line, “You just signed up to do all the dishes”.

    • December 24, 2018 at 1:06 am

      Hint, don’t use the good china.

  • December 24, 2018 at 1:07 am
    Deplorable B Woodman

    Mari and Kiko on fire detail……..presumably with two fire extinguishers each. Total four extinguishers. At five pounds each, that’s twenty pounds of extinguishers.
    Do you think twenty pounds of extinguishers is enough?
    Do you think the twins could handle ten pound extinguishers?

    • December 24, 2018 at 1:21 am

      As the DD club is/was a professional restaurant, I would think the crew knows how to have automatic fire suppression in a kitchen, or at least have convenient pull handles nearby.

  • December 24, 2018 at 1:09 am
    Deplorable B Woodman

    “And Merry Christmas, ya basket of deplorables.”

  • December 24, 2018 at 1:13 am

    EXCLUSIVE: Read the Vile Hate Mail Sent to Triple Amputee Veteran Behind #GoFundTheWall, Encouraged by Liberal Media and Celebrities

    “It isn’t just Kolfage that is under threat, Twitter accounts have also been doxing donors to the GoFundMe using their Facebook accounts.”

    So don’t have your Facebook and GoFundMe accounts linked, and you can donate anonymously to prevent searches by name.

    Right now, $16.39 million.

  • December 24, 2018 at 1:15 am
    Too Tall

    I don’t care if Sam is planning on using the oven. Unless Travis is coming back to cook, I think “Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra….” will be the Christmas carol chorus of the evening.

    On the other hand, Peking Duck is not a bad substitute for Roast Turkey.

    • December 24, 2018 at 1:21 am

      They might soon be ducking in Peking. (Beijing)

  • December 24, 2018 at 1:19 am

    Marry Deplorable Christmas to the DBD Nation!

  • December 24, 2018 at 1:28 am

    Merry Christmas, all ye deplorable DBD regulars!! Let nothing you dismay!!

    • December 24, 2018 at 6:30 pm
      JJ cooper

      Nothing? I think you are being naive. Enjoy, anyway.

  • December 24, 2018 at 2:00 am

    Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. Or a good knight, for those who prefer.

    And for Sam’s reference:

    Hopefully we can all reach a happy medium. Or at least a contented fortune-teller.

  • December 24, 2018 at 2:21 am

    Merry Christmas and a Deplorable New Year … and Thank You Mr. President!

  • December 24, 2018 at 2:45 am

    Merry Christmas everyone!

  • December 24, 2018 at 3:04 am
    James Gemind

    Someone doesn’t remember Thanksgiving, and Sams two birds(one still in Orbit I believe), or the International Space Station’s response to the near miss…

    That said, here is a blind squirrel and acorn moment;

    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says that the members of the House and Senate should not be paid during the government shutdown! If she did not clear that with the Clintons, I expect she will be found floating face down in the reflecting pool soon enough…

    • December 24, 2018 at 6:35 pm

      can’t open this…..

  • December 24, 2018 at 3:09 am

    What about Tamales? I’m making Pierogi, sausages, mushroom gravy from scratch, rye bread and strudel. A very healthy and happy Christmas to one and all here.

    • December 24, 2018 at 8:01 am

      Now THAT is my kinda Christmas meal! 😀
      (We’re doing curried [Caribbean-style] lamb this year, along with ham, and whatever non-meat dishes get made. One year we did schnitzel and such. Some year I’ll be brave enough to do some kimchi and bulgogi for Christmas or Thanksgiving.)

      • December 24, 2018 at 11:40 am
        MAJ Arkay

        GWB, we make kimchi regularly, and bulgogi is super easy. It’s all the other exotic side dishes we have trouble locating, so we just triple up on the kimchi. The hardest part about kimchi is all the chopping, and then waiting three days for it to ferment.

    • December 24, 2018 at 11:37 am
      MAJ Arkay

      We’re having tamales for breakfast. Christmas dinner, courtesy of our military buddies (framily) who moved here with us after we all retired, will be vegetable and cheese trays, honey-baked ham, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, English peas, roasted carrots, cranberry sauce, jam tarts, pumpkin pie, and chocolate pie.

  • December 24, 2018 at 3:27 am

    Having a lady friend over tonight for her Christmas goose and an evening of fun and games followed by the annual viewing of “Die Hard”, the best holiday movie ever……….

    • December 24, 2018 at 8:12 am

      I recently read that ‘Home Alone 1’ has been voted the best Christmas movie in recent times. But ‘Die Hard’ is an all-time great also.

      Anyway, Merry Christmas to all and to all, keep up the good fight.

      • December 24, 2018 at 8:35 am

        Both of those are good. A Christmas Story is THE classic for us’ns who grew up in the 80s.

        Sonsabitches! Bumpases!!

      • December 24, 2018 at 9:11 am

        Tonafinga! 🙂

      • December 24, 2018 at 10:05 pm
        James Gemind

        It isn’t Christmas until the Terrorist falls from the Nakitomi Building.:)

    • December 24, 2018 at 6:33 pm
      JJ cooper

      Makes me wish I were your lady friend. I am addicted to Die Hard.

    • December 24, 2018 at 11:44 pm

      “Goose”, you say? *AHEM*

  • December 24, 2018 at 5:18 am
    Bill G

    Baking only, so no launch for dinner. And a very Merry Christmas to all Deplorables, everywhere they may be.

  • December 24, 2018 at 5:48 am

    CB > Dittos on the “Thank You Mr. President!” sentiments…

    *singing “For unto us a son is born ……*

  • December 24, 2018 at 6:32 am
    Milo Mindbender

    Brined a turkey, it is drying in the fridge now, will fire up the smoker and let it smoke for about 8 hours. Turkey smoked over pecan shells, and then finished with mesquite with a good deep smoke ring is a thing of beauty.
    Merry Christmas to all who read this

    • December 24, 2018 at 11:46 pm

      OMG! Slobber, drool…

  • December 24, 2018 at 9:16 am

    Merry Chris Muir’s, You Deplorables!

    Merry Christmas to all,
    and to wall a good fight!
    This seems a day early,
    Am I right?

  • December 24, 2018 at 10:21 am

    God bless you merry DBD Fans,
    Let nothing you dismay
    May Chris and all enjoy a truly joyous Christmas Day!
    And Sam and Zed and all their kin stay out of the turkey’s way!
    And at NORAD all the scope dopes go OY, vey, is mir! They say
    Santa’s at risk o’er Texas all the way!

    Merry Christmas, All!

    Zar Belk!

  • December 24, 2018 at 11:12 am

    Donovan’s Reef!
    Thanks Chris!
    Merry Christmas!
    And Too ALL you vast Right Wing Conspiracy,
    Keep On Trucking!

  • December 24, 2018 at 12:28 pm

    “Family” the title of the ‘toon says.

    That’s what matters most, and mine will gather here “where the lovelight shines” as the song says, for unwrapping chaos and a fine dinner, and just to be together.

    It is strange but true that I do consider the DBD family, at the ranch, at the drawing board, and in these comments to be mine as well and I wish nothing but the best for us all as we celebrate the foundation of it all with highest hopes that it is being protected, defended, and extended for our children and grandchildren to continue the traditions we enjoy.

    One word of caution for our cartoon people; bear in mind that old farmhouse is of woodframe construction and to be appreciative but vigilant when Sam is in that kitchen, and for Skye I I have one word of advice that will make her assigned task far easier…”Chinette”.

    Merry Christmas Y’all!

  • December 24, 2018 at 12:55 pm
    Old Codger

    Merry Christmas, All. We don’t have turkey for Christmas in my family. Mrs. Codger and our daughter say it’s too much work and you can only eat so much turkey pot pie and turkey King Ranch casserole. We have a nice boneless ham in the fridge plus Stove-Top dressing, gravy mix and yams.

    Turkey is for Thanksgiving, HAM is for Christmas, Along with some tamales, of course.

  • December 24, 2018 at 9:54 pm
    Deplorable B Woodman

    Christmas Eve, half the family over, we’re having a cheese fondue with bread, broccoli, and Granny Smith apple slices. For dessert, a Nutella fondue with raspberries, same apple slices, the remainder of the bread, banana slices and poundcake. Yum!

  • December 24, 2018 at 10:39 pm

    Just got home from Christmas Eve dinner at a local restaurant. The Bride (celebrating 35 years the end of January) and I had a wonderful meal, made by & served by friends.

    Tomorrow I will cook some steaks for Christmas dinner. Turkey for Thanksgiving, Prime steak for Christmas!

    Wishing Chris all, a Joyous Christmas and a Happy, Healthy and Successful New Year.

  • December 27, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    Perhaps Sam could use a reference to to an online cooking site, #4 son uses this as the goto recipe for holiday crime brûlée. Has kind of an Alton Brown vibe.

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