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This is…the Story.

38 Comments

  • November 1, 2018 at 12:10 am
    Delilah T

    Hey! That’s my tomorrow’s lunch Twinkie! (Thanks, Archie!

    Are those the gathering clouds of a storm? будет ли буря?

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    • November 1, 2018 at 12:39 am
      TomZ

      One column of invaders are already in Mexico heading this way.
      A second one is nearing the Southern border of Mexico.
      Mid term election less than a week away.
      Why would anyone think a storm was on the way?

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  • November 1, 2018 at 12:11 am

    She’s using the Twinkie Defense! XD

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  • November 1, 2018 at 12:23 am
    interventor

    Jo’s a lab produced product, as are Twinkies. Rather too much like a Jeffrey Dalmer diet.

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  • November 1, 2018 at 12:38 am
    Deplorable B Woodman

    And how old was said Twinkie that Jo touched? That may explain why Jo wasn’t able to detect any organic matter.

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    • November 1, 2018 at 5:55 am
      GWB

      It was a fresh one.
      Otherwise she’d have detected the little other-thing-that-survives-nuclear-holocaust footprints on it.

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  • November 1, 2018 at 12:51 am

    I had wondered about those, all those years ago…

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  • November 1, 2018 at 1:14 am
    Fox2!

    Things to survive the nuclear holocaust:
    cockroaches
    waterbears
    Twinkies

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    • November 1, 2018 at 1:35 am
      Stephanie Osborn

      Well, water bears, aka tardigrades, ARE considered extremophiles by some scientists.

      Cockroaches, not so much. Other insects handle high rad doses much better.

      Tardigrada comprises an entire phylum, so there are a lot of different types (over 1100 species), and you can find them pretty much all over, from deep in the ground to high on a mountain, pole to pole and at the bottom of the ocean.

      I think they’re cute, personally.

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      • November 1, 2018 at 4:24 am
        Punta Gorda

        And a stolen plot device for that clusterf#$@ Discovery series.

      • November 1, 2018 at 7:59 am
        nonncom

        Wouldn’t you like to be around 100 million years from now to see how those things evolve….

    • November 1, 2018 at 4:57 am
      Milo Mindbender

      Dont forget Keith Richards, if one of us had bet the line in Las Vegas in the early 80’s on his survival we could be rich today. He is a practioer of the ancient art of self embalming..

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      • November 1, 2018 at 9:17 am
        interventor

        Last time I saw a face like that, an egyptologist was unwrapping it.

  • November 1, 2018 at 1:50 am
    Too Tall

    There is a Nobel Prize in Chemistry waiting for the first person who correctly identifies what is in a Twinkie.

    The closest anyone has come to date is proving that the “cream filling” is actually a byproduct of the production of synthetic motor oil.

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    • November 1, 2018 at 6:34 am
      PaulS

      Twinkies a made of the stuff of dreams and goodness, anyone who thinks different is simply mistaken. 🙂

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  • November 1, 2018 at 2:17 am
    Pete231

    Twinkies…… The only foodstuff with the shelf life of gravel next to Grape-Nuts cereal.

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    • November 1, 2018 at 2:50 am
      Lucius Severus Pertinax

      No kidding! I have come across Twinkies labeled in Akkadian Cuniform!

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    • November 1, 2018 at 2:58 am
      Too Tall

      Jo would love Grape-Nuts cereal as it is clearly an inorganic and inert substance.

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      • November 1, 2018 at 4:28 am
        Bill M

        Indeed!

      • November 1, 2018 at 12:04 pm
        cfm56dash7

        Some parts are edible. – Euell

      • November 2, 2018 at 8:47 am
        Doggo

        Didn’t he die of food poisoning?

    • November 1, 2018 at 7:42 am
      eon

      Don’t forget Spam. Which has the shelf-life of basaltic rock.

      The rock is generally more appetizing.

      Let’s not even get into the MRE pork patty.

      clear ether

      eon

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      • November 1, 2018 at 11:04 pm
        Deplorable B Woodman

        Hey! Don’t knock SPAM. Love the stuff. Spent four years in Hawaii. You learn to love it (along with rice, seafood, and poi) or you starve.

  • November 1, 2018 at 4:53 am
    Halley

    The Politically Correct Food Police have a Most Wanted list, and Twinkies are #1. Those healthy souls who grew up on Twinkies are proof against the Politically Correct Food Police.

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  • November 1, 2018 at 5:46 am
    Randy Metras

    Milo Mindbender @ 4:57 I believe the operative description of Keith Richards is “pickled!” LOL

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  • November 1, 2018 at 6:12 am
    Bill G

    My poison, er, snack of choice was the Suzy Q. Despite all expectations of the food nazis, I’m still chugging along.

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    • November 1, 2018 at 6:36 am
      PaulS

      Suzy Q!
      I Wuv You!

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    • November 1, 2018 at 7:28 am
      Delilah T

      Chocolate Hostess cream-filled cupcakes.
      Because of them, I will outlive everyone in my family.

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  • November 1, 2018 at 8:07 am
    WayneM

    Analysis through simple touch… Fascinating!!

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  • November 1, 2018 at 8:27 am
    CaptDMO

    Lest we forget….
    “Organic” includes aresnic

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  • November 1, 2018 at 9:45 am
    David Grimes

    I have it from reliable anonymous sources that if you eat a Twinkie a day they won’t have to embalm you when you die.

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  • November 1, 2018 at 10:32 am
    Spin Drift

    My Twinkie story, (and be honest don’t we all have one) is after the ’87 World Series, Hostess in the Twin Cites made double packs of Twinkies, one Devils food and one regular to represent, Kirby Puckett and Kent Hrbeck. Probably not possible in today’s offended at every turn PC culture. But those were simpler times, when the long suffering Twins finally put it together and won the big one. Too bad TPTB are turning it into Minnesotastan.

    Spin
    A corrupted childhood is the best one to have.

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    • November 1, 2018 at 12:57 pm
      S C Hooks

      Spin, I describe mine as depraved. When I drop that into conversation, most people don’t even pick up on it

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  • November 1, 2018 at 11:04 am

    “No organic matter…”

    That makes two of you ya little liquid borg.

    At least I can eat the twinkie. You? Not so much.

    side note re: Stephanie Osborn
    You can learn some weird shit around here. 🙂

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  • November 1, 2018 at 12:47 pm
    Brent Dotson

    The so called Twinkie defense never happened. The guy’s lawyer tried to get him off with an insanity defense because of clinical depression. The lawyer pointed to his Twinkie use as EVIDENCE of his clinical depression; not because the Twinkies made him do it.

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  • November 1, 2018 at 10:18 pm
    Pamela

    I guess Twinkies are something you should not put in your mouth 😉

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  • November 1, 2018 at 11:08 pm
    Delilah T

    Central American migrant caravan — which now numbers approximately 4,000, down from a high of 7,200 – throwing rocks at Mexican police – stuff like that, will get no sympathy from US military at the border. The military has been told to consider thrown rocks the same as rifles, and respond accordingly.
    And being the cynic that I am, these people will hold their kids up in front of them as shields. Wait and see.

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    • November 2, 2018 at 8:53 am
      Doggo

      I agree with your last thought. In fact, they’ll probably teach the kids to throw the rocks.

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