Day By Day


  • Southpaw

    Re: “A hard man is good to find.”

    The first time I tried missileering, I exploded on the launch pad. It happens. I’m not alone here.

    The second time I tried missileering, my rocket only stayed in the air about 90 seconds before it too splashed into the ocean.

    However, not long afterwards, I managed to keep my missile in low earth orbit long enough to satisfy my co-pilot. It comes with experience.

    So, I accomplished by age 19 what Kim still can’t do.

    • Too much of a good thing can be taxing.

      • NotYetInACamp

        Oh, I have heard that before. If I had a nickel……

      • Jackalope

        Sex at noon taxes.

        • Polly Cy

          Noose at sex. Hang in there.

      • doc

        Too much of a good thing is just about enough

    • I never had sex until I was married, neither had she.
      Neither of us knew what we were doing, or how.
      But we learned.
      It took a few years, but I learned exactly how to make her happy, and she, me.
      In every way, not just sex.
      I still don’t know how to make any other woman as happy as I made her, and no other woman has been able to do the same for me.
      It involves lots of things, a certain touch, a look…
      Doing the dishes…
      Watching her favorite program when it bored me to tears…
      She did the same for me.
      God, I miss that tough little broad.

      • NotYetInACamp

        That was a good thing.

      • DonS

        It’s a wonderful life. When I proposed to my wife, as a lead-in, I played a tape of Cat Stevens’ “Hard-headed Woman”… we’re still figuring each other out after 39 years. Blessings!

  • Quoting Mae West? Classy!
    To Cary Grant: Why don’t you come up see me? Come up Wednesday night. That’s amateur night.

    My favorite line of hers: Still got your brakes on, huh? Don’t skid! (Walks away, muttering: Why the heck do I like that guy?)

  • Pamela

    $425.00 for a pair of fake mud jeans!
    Damn I wonder how much I could get for my gear oil, cement and paint stained carpenters pants? Zoiks.

    Sam.. it looks like it’s dusk based on the color of the sky.
    You planning on getting your Man out of his jeans?
    Keep doing what you’re doing and he’s going to explode.

      • Pamela

        There is something just WRONG with paying good money for something that looks like the wearer has spent way too much time on her knees.

        • silvergreycat


        • Henry

          I think you misunderstand Sam’s comment. It’s marketed to women, to buy for their men. Like Victoria’s Secret in reverse.

          • NotYetInACamp

            I WILL have to check the garage’s oily rag bag. I must have a fortune there just in old jeans. Now who will buy them, even at wholesale.

        • doc

          She may have had to spend that much time on her knees to afford them

    • fortyback

      To quoth the right reverend Billy G:
      I could tell that they was mine
      from the OIL and the GASOLINNNE.

      • Greg B

        One of the ZZ songs. Ever.

  • eon

    The last time my jeans looked like that was after an all day stakeout along a riverbank. (Ah, memories.)

    The last time I was in Target (I know, I know) they not only didn’t have jeans in my size (48/30 long), but they had jeans that were so torn up they looked like they been dragged down a gravel road under a dumper for about ten miles. For $90.

    I’d be ashamed to show myself in public in jeans that fucked up. That’s the kind of thing I was taught never to wear unless I wanted to basically advertise “I’m dirt-poor; please help”. Something I’ve always been disinclined to do in spite of my income.

    Seeing some post-modern, metrosexual tweener walking around in these would strongly incline me to treat the jeans to a run through the laundromat. Perhaps without removing the slacker from them first.

    clear ether


    • Pamela

      So how much bleach would you use and then maybe a double run in a HOT dryer after…. I know. I’m evil. 😉

      • Bleach? Nah. Just beat the crap out of them in the dryer, on high, several times.
        See, now, I’m torn… and so are my jeans.
        Just when I was ready to splurge on a new and smaller pair, the distressed look returns. I have one pair that’s so distressed, they need a psychiatrist.

        • Brian H.

          The “mud” is plastic.

          • John

            …and will out-wear the jeans themselves.

    • So what you’re saying, eon, is that since all my jeans are disintegrating because the fabric is absolute crap, I should keep them and look like a street bum?
      Well, I can do that. It’s cheaper than buying new jeans.

    • MasterDiver

      I kept my rip-stop BDU/ACU pants from my Army days (at least 4 camo patterns over 30 yrs). Tough, stain-proof, water shedding, and LOTS of pockets for tools, parts, and widgets. And a great incentive to keep the weight down. I remember when some one marketed “Calamity Jeans” Denims with the seat peppered with buckshot, and they sold!
      Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

      Zar Belk!

      • NotYetInACamp

        The internet has great stuff like those BDUs at great and clearance prices.

  • I don’t think that’s a gun in Zed’s pocket.

    • Pamela

      Delilah~ That’s a whole lot of fun for Sam in his pocket.
      I wonder if she’s ever tried Magic Shell…

    • She’s probably just taking inventory.

      • Deplorable B Woodman

        Yep, all there.

  • JTC

    Never a shortage of wannabe’s and always a capitalist to um, well…capitalize.

    In that way, dirty jeans ain’t much different than cowboys (all hat no cattle), biker dudes (dentist or accountant with fat checkbook and no idea how to ride that 30K Road King), or tacti-cool warriors decked out in black and camo (can’t hit for shit with that new AR).

    Let ’em play dress-up; it’s good for the economy.

    • John

      More dollars than sense is what makes it hum.

  • Deplorable B Woodman

    Sounds like a variation on the “putting lipstick on a pig” theme. No matter how you dress it up (or down), it’s still a pig. And considering the metros that are buying and wearing those jeans, most likely a limp uncooked sausage. And no matter how long you put it in the oven, it would STILL be a limp uncooked sausage.

    • Bill G

      Well, maybe built-in codpieces will be next.

      • Pamela


        I can see it now, a dandified pillicock whipping out an orange, scented handkerchief or cellphone for Milady to use.

        • NotYetInACamp

          Funny imagery of that whole genera, but gross. Dandified peacocks. Revolting.

          George Washington had to buy an entire English made wardrobe in order to get into the “English best clubs” full of dandies in order to get business.

          • Pamela

            I like men to look and smell like men. Not someone that can’t seem to make up their mind on which side to dress themselves.

  • Deplorable B Woodman

    Puts me in mind of the joke about the young lassie who wanted to find out what the Scotsman REALLY wore under his kilt. So he allowed her to put her hand up under his kilt.
    “EWWWWW! That’s gruesome!”
    “Touch it agin’ lassie, an’ it’ll grew some mor’.”

    Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. Please be sure to tip the wait staff generously.

    • Have you heard the song “The Scotsman”, about a drunk Scotsman who passed out in the gutter? Some schoolgirls found him there, and decided to find out if the stories were true.
      One of them, as a joke, took the blue ribbon out of her hair, and tied it around his “equipment”.
      When he awoke and saw it, he exclaimed:
      “My friend, I don’t know where ya been,
      But I see you won first prize!

      • Deplorable B Woodman

        I have heard that song before, and I’m still laughing. Thanx for the mammories……uhhhhh……memories.

  • Calvin

    Have a young woman in my acting class who has several tattoos on her body. The interesting ones are on her legs including one very, very near the bikini area. How do I know this? Her jeans all seem to be ripped and holed to show off each tattoo including that high up one on her thigh. Fashion, you gotta luv it.

  • My jeans start a factory blue. Over the years they fade. If they have grease spots, they earned them. If they have mud, I wash them. This fake dirt is stupid. Of course, this is the embodiment of the modern metrosexual. You want mud and spots, earn them.

  • NotYetInACamp

    I buy jeans off the clearance rack or, these days, often at Rural King for $10 or $12. The work until I destroy them somehow. I have serious strong jeans and duty pants made out of rip-stop fabric like Blackhawk, bought on clearance.
    Sometimes my jeans look like they could walk away. I will wash them then. Sometimes more often. Females will effect whether I wear them or not and in what condition. I find it hard to go against them when they insist.

  • Old Codger:
    Thanks. One of my shooting range friends is a cop, and the stories he tells…
    As for my envy, John had it right. After my marriage, I realized that the family I chose was much better than the one I was issued at birth.


      “After my marriage, I realized that the family I chose was much better than the one I was issued at birth.”

      I’m right there with you on that count!

      • PaulS

        After my marriage, MY family realized that the spouse I chose was much better than the one they was issued at birth. 😉
        The term “better half”, which I completely agree with, got used a lot!
        Of course this makes me most fortunate.

        • NotYetInACamp

          Several good prospects vanished after the parents and family realized that I was the better half, and the shes involved got pizzed off that I was not the real bad boy that would pizz the parents off. Most of those, unfortunately, chose poorly afterwards. Some chose well enough.

  • Keith

    If anyone is interested, I will be selling jeans next week with real mud on them for $150 each 🙂

  • WayneM

    To quote the silly song…

    “Everybody knows the world is full of stupid people”

    Of course they’ll buy jeans with faux mud. It’s not like you expect Generation Snowflake to actually go out and get dirty in actual dirt?

  • PaulS

    I think they should raise the price and separate the T Fools from their money quicker.

  • OldGeek

    I’ve worked various “dirty jobs” over the years, both for paid jobs and my own personal projects.

    Whenever the job is done, I can’t stand to stay dirty, or look dirty. I have GOT to get cleaned up, and not look like a bum.

    When they get dirt on ’em, I wash ’em.

  • Larry

    I actually went to the Nordstrums website and looked at these things. The mud looks to be a textured paint of some kind, not a dirt paste as you might think. It also comes with washing instructions which I thought was amusing. Customer service confirmed that the “dirt” does not wash off, so you don’t loose half the price if you wash them. Some people will buy anything it seems. 😉

  • Spin Drift

    Now every man is built a bit different in the sense that I can only where certain brands of jeans for the same reason you can’t dance in St Patrick’s Cathedral. No ball room.

    Swing for the fences boys for that is where the cheap ladies sit.

    • Pamela

      It’s not like you can put only one in the corner pocket.
      I’m wondering if they have them sown shut…

  • MadSci

    “A hard man is good to find” unless it is Anthony Wiener in your Twitter feed.

  • Erik

    Heh. I’ll confess – they make these jeans for guys also. I own some. I didn’t pay anywhere near $425, even though they were actually made in Italy. I also bought them a few years ago. Funny how long it takes these trends to reach the US.

    Fashion is what it is. All of it is silly at some level. Fake mud is certainly silly, but so is fake animal print. It’s like “I want to look like I killed a beautiful animal so I could wear it, but, meh, too much work. Even to outsource.” I stopped judging a long time ago and just roll with it. At a certain level, fashion is its own form of communication. You don’t have to participate, but it cuts you off from or at least hinders you in certain circles if you don’t.

    • NotYetInACamp

      You have a point.

      That fashion movie The Devil Wears Prada (2006) where Meryl Streep’s character tells Anne Hathaway’s character the history of all of the jumbled mixture of the clothes “Miranda” is wearing says much about what you said, as does the whole movie, and at the end about what is relevant to a good life.

      • NotYetInACamp

        Oops. Brain bloop. Miranda is the devil. Hathaway plays “Emily” or actually Andy Sachs. All of Miranda’s assistants were called Emily by Miranda so she never had to learn a new name.

    • Kafiroon

      The circles that are into that sort of shiite, I could nor care less about and not even that much about what they think about what I wear.

  • NotYetInACamp

    All pants. No package.
    (That’s who those are for.)

    • Pamela

      Ah. A Torso Sexless. So sad to be a living Ken doll.

  • John

    Ah well, if only DaDa-esque clothing were the only symptom of wealth divorcing people from reality, but sadly it warps their politics as well and _we_ have to pay for that.

  • Halley

    Matter of taste, but I’ve always felt women looked much better in pants than in dresses or skirts, or whatever they call all that other stuff they put on. And it’s not like you really notice if the fabric is muddied or not, or care.

    But for the ultimate female fashion statement, I’ll take what Deety and Elizabeth wore to the party…

  • Jess Sain

    Good God this metrosexual binge has to be ended. Even in my latter years as a programmer for my day job, my real satisfaction comes from working on my acreage, in the barn/shop on my cars or doing construction/remodeling where I have honestly earned dirt on me. Any woman attracted to some cheese filled weasel wearing these is no woman.

    • Merle

      down South in Virginia we called them “cheese eating weasels”; close enough, eh? 🙂

  • Special_Ed

    I can’t remember who said it or the exact wording, but here goes:

    Fashion is a business so ugly that they have to change it every few months

  • DonS

    I’m reminded of an old joke about a man who accidentally elbowed a lady’s bosom. He apologized, saying “I’m so sorry for bumping into you, but if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replied “If your other parts are as hard as your elbow, no forgiveness will be needed!”

Trackbacks and Pingbacks