Aye, There’s the Rub.
Park It.


  • January 17, 2019 at 12:14 am
    Too Tall

    STRIIIKE TWO! An 0 and 2 count on Zed. The third times a charm, you have to deliver tomorrow, Chris.

    • January 17, 2019 at 12:58 am

      I dunno about that count. Seems like Zed has 2 balls…

    • January 17, 2019 at 7:09 am
      Deplorable B Woodman

      I read nothing wrong with what Zed said. Do you have children? And how many times have you had to censor yourself in front of them. Puts me in mind of an old Bill Cosby routine about self censoring when in front of children.

      • January 17, 2019 at 7:14 am
        Deplorable B Woodman

        Oops. On re-reading, it was Sam that was pulling the puns. Same principle above applies.

  • January 17, 2019 at 1:10 am

    Well, I will admit to using a razor to clean up my neck to keep my beard looking “just so”. But I’ll not be buying any more Gillette, ever.

  • January 17, 2019 at 1:30 am

    A large number to one, sweetie got that.

  • January 17, 2019 at 1:32 am

    Double entendres are like puns but so much spicier…

  • January 17, 2019 at 1:41 am

    Got this one for my Man. Those others things couldn’t cut it.
    MERKUR Classic 3-Piece Razor Double Edge Saftey Razor

    • January 17, 2019 at 6:53 am

      All tips appreciated. Lotsa men gonna be needing alternatives to the Gillette Castration Razor. PG just made the worst marketing move in herstory.

      • January 17, 2019 at 9:11 am
        Andy Franklin

        Use a straight razor. I haven’t spent money on disposables for years!

      • January 17, 2019 at 3:36 pm
        Brent Dotson

        Straight razors scare the hell out of me. Hands not that steady anyway and I have a very mild form of epilepsy where I blank out and occasionally spasm where my hands would suddenly jerk.

    • January 17, 2019 at 12:11 pm

      Those are nice. I have one.

  • January 17, 2019 at 3:08 am

    Among other things, I’ll bet that Ms. Gehrig putts from the rough, also…….

  • January 17, 2019 at 3:21 am
    Punta Gorda

    Careful of the stubble… sandpaper can cause a rash.

  • January 17, 2019 at 6:29 am

    1st Time Reader: “But … but ….. they have a lot of T&A in the toonz!”
    Me: “It’s really a hygiene blog!”

  • January 17, 2019 at 7:12 am
    Deplorable B Woodman

    Speaking of “close shave”, what does Zed use to keep his beard trimmed up? And it looks like he’s shaggy and due for a trim.

    • January 17, 2019 at 8:59 am

      “some” trim.
      Fixed. 😉

  • January 17, 2019 at 7:51 am

    Dangit, Chris seems to have skipped the toon in between this one and yesterday, where we got to see Zed’s-eye-view of that close shave. 🙂

  • January 17, 2019 at 8:44 am

    Watch that ad again and see if Gillette isn’t pushing the perverted idea of a new Untouchable caste, like in India. Only this time it’s females who Must Never Be Touched!!! (at least, never by a male). Sure looks that way to me.

  • January 17, 2019 at 8:55 am

    Besides, “close shave” was a Barbasol tag line. Catchy tune, they should’ve run the ads on Jan 20th, 2017.

    • January 17, 2019 at 11:30 am
      John D. Egbert

      Funny you should mention it . . . Been using Barbasol ever since (wait for it . . .) Gillette “improved” their Edge shaving gel, thereby ruining it by introducing a virtually impossible-to-remove slimy after-effect, in the early ’70s. Some people just never learn.

      • January 17, 2019 at 12:06 pm

        I too am a Barbasol user, been using it for god knows how long, great shaving cream,

  • January 17, 2019 at 8:57 am
    Old Codger

    Guess I’ll join in the boycott. I’m tired of the”enlightened” left preaching to me. PLUS the ad flat out lies. I don’t think most fathers actively encourage antisocial behavior. I DO know that it is not wrong to defend oneself.

    It’s getting bad folks. There is a commercial that runs on the “Grit” cable network (all westerns all the time, my wife watches them incessantly) for a “personal groomer”. I use something similar to trim my mustache and beard like the guy in the commercial. But the guy doesn’t stop at the edges of his beard and his neck. He then proceeds to shave his arms, torso and legs (including, presumably, the area around and on his joystick). WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!?!?! What is that about? Body hair is one of the areas of sexual dimorphism distinguishing the genders. Why would a guy willingly eliminate one of the signs that he is a MAN/MALE?!?!?! To me that is just short of neutering himself (which, BTW some men actually DO!!! :O). What the hell is going on here?

    • January 17, 2019 at 9:04 am

      Next thing ya know, Grit will be airing Brokeback Mounting.

    • January 17, 2019 at 9:16 am

      For transwomen getting rid of that icky coarse hair is very important. Even if they don’t get surgery or hormones, it’s the complete denuding of their entire bodies save their scalp and eyes of every last tiny hair that lets them feel like a real woman.

    • January 17, 2019 at 11:08 am
      Roland Deschain

      I think that is called “manscaping”. Another idea brought about by metro-sexuals, I guess.
      I had a female Uber passenger that was quite flirty. She commented about the hair on my arms and said, “The Marlboro Man is out! I could braid that hair.”
      Being a gentleman, I did not respond.

    • January 17, 2019 at 11:28 pm
      Deplorable B Woodman

      Old Codg,
      That’s been going on for awhile. It used to be called “metrosexual”, or “metro”. Yeah, I watched my son, USMC, do that, God alone knows why.
      I figure if a woman doesn’t want a hairy, manly, man, she’s not worth knowing in her own right. But not everyone thinks the same way I do. Thank goodness.

  • January 17, 2019 at 9:58 am
    Delilah T.

    “She” isn’t getting any? Well, who would want to do that?

  • January 17, 2019 at 10:37 am

    Meet the VERY woke women (and their eye-popping campaigns) behind Gillette’s controversial ‘toxic masculinity’ ad

    * Her ad for feminine hygiene firm Libresse – known as Bodyform in the UK – featured singing female genitals

    The director behind Gillette’s controversial new ad is a woman whose past work includes an ode to female genitals and a short film that explores ‘toxic masculinity’ featuring a protagonist whose life crumbles when he becomes addicted to steroids.

    The commission for Gehrig was itself consciously social activism on the part of P&G, who found her through Free the Bid, a non-profit which tries to raise the profile of female and non-white advertising directors.

    She is also a mother of two.

    • January 17, 2019 at 9:42 pm
      Punta Gorda

      “Free the bird?”

      Swing and a miss…

    • January 17, 2019 at 11:30 pm
      Deplorable B Woodman

      Mother of two? As the joke goes, must be twins. No one would want to bed that twice.

      • January 21, 2019 at 6:54 pm

        I pity those poor kids. This sounds like an emotionally abusive parent.

  • January 17, 2019 at 11:09 am

    ‘Disrespectful’: Google Employees Melt Down Over The Word ‘Family’

    * Google employees melted down after the word “family” was used in a company presentation, documents obtained by TheDCNF show.
    * Employees were upset that the word was used in a way that links families with children, which they argued was homophobic.
    * A Google vice president acknowledged that the word “family” had sparked “concerns” about inclusivity.

    So “Time to settle down and start a family” is now a verboten phrase that’s homophobic despite all the gay couples with children. Got it.

    • January 17, 2019 at 12:54 pm

      So that is why I got the theory that mankind (Suck it whiners) Needs to have a large war or plague every so often. Just to cull the herd.

      • January 17, 2019 at 7:28 pm

        Only problems with wars is we keep sending our “best and brightest” off to fight and die and leave those who are unfit in every way to stay home and reproduce.

      • January 17, 2019 at 9:53 pm

        That is why “they” move the Great Game to where people have developed their culture. two birds with one stone. The Alphas and the others are all at once disrupted or dead. “They” are assuming some Alphas will survive one way or another for further exploitation later.

      • January 17, 2019 at 11:19 pm

        Modern warfare will result in mass casualties and that will also probably result some plague/flu/colds that will not be readily treated. Hospitals, doctors and medicine deliveries will more than likely not be available. Thus many betas will die. Lose food distribution and by the second week deaths will start; if not in the first. Even today Many could not begin to survive without their “city”.

  • January 17, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    Damn, it can be depressing to watch this nation fall apart. Fortunately, I take great comfort in the knowledge that there are still many of us out there who believe in the inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, who are willing to defend and uphold the Constitution, who are willing to speak truth to power and speak out against injustice, who live and let live, who want nothing more than to live their lives in peace and liberty, and who will give their last drop to preserve that for their children and grandchildren. To all of you who preserve my hope that even if this nation falls apart, there will be enough of us to rebuild, to you I say thanks… and keep the faith.

    • January 17, 2019 at 12:55 pm

      Sorry! That was supposed to be below your comment.

    • January 17, 2019 at 1:57 pm

      Very nice and very encouraging azscram, and I agree with all of it but with one edit, which would be to eliminate the “speak truth to power” (hate that term), and “speaking out against injustice”.

      For one thing I am sick to fucking death of talking because we are screaming into the wind; the more we talk and try to reason and explain, the more drowning noise and fake news is blasted back against us…if we are entering rebuilding mode as in your scenario, the time for talk will be done and escalation of strategy required.

      It is my firm belief that sick societal shit like this commercial are less about firmly held “woke” beliefs and more about a concerted effort from every conceivable direction, to destroy western white-ish men and western civilization itself, and enslave us to its replacement. The various elements of political leftism may think they are seeking their perfect world but they are just useful jdiotic tools to the powers that control them.

      It is truly sickening to see the cancer devour things like sports and entertainment, even more so and more dangerous to see its advancced stages in “academia” and “media”. But we are surrounded, and our enemy will settle for nothing less than our death or full surrender.

      As for myself, I’ll take the former over the latter. And if our current effort that is driven by Deplorables and guided by Trump fails to survive this onslaught, that decision will be imminent and permanent for all of us. It will be war.

      • January 17, 2019 at 10:03 pm

        I prefer the enemy die rather than us. (Insert Arnold’s movie line here about hearing the weeping of their women, etc. …)
        Time for full blown defenders to become the berserkers we have covered with a polite civilized veneer.
        Kirk”:’s classic line to the Organian that “We choose not to kill, today” may soon be replaced with: “We saw a need to kill, today.”

        Such is what is known as a form of war.

        The evil, liars, and intolerant have an advantage in conflict at all levels. It is best when the good become the most intolerant. Good must be intolerant of those others.

  • January 17, 2019 at 12:44 pm

    I’ve been a mug and brush shaver all my life. Switched to DE safety razors 12 years ago. You can’t boycott what you don’t use. Re Gillette: they hit a home run with the commercial starring Shaquem Griffin, the one-handed linebacker who plays for the Seahawks. The man makes a living knocking people down. How does Gillette reconcile that with their brave new “no bullying” world?

  • January 17, 2019 at 1:52 pm

    I kind’a think that Gillette, already hemorrhaging market share and knowing that they’re gonna continue to do so with men, has adopted an ‘Appeal to the women and metrosexuals’ strategy. They know that the Social Justice Warriors will pay extra to feel good about themselves, and the real men are more and more buying equivalent products at much better prices now.

  • January 17, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    Used my German-made, Swedish-steel, straight-edge razor this morning. Gave myself a nice, ragged shave. Kind looks like a shaved with a broken beer bottle, just the way I like it.

    I have at least four Gillette handles lying around, and a bunch of unused Gillette blades. They will the the last, for me.

    Great ad campaign. Worked like a charm. Sent everyone looking for anything but Gillette.

    • January 17, 2019 at 2:41 pm

      I seem to recall in Moby Dick that Queequeg shaved with his harpoon, so maybe it’s just a matter of sharpening technique. Plus there were hundreds of Westerns where the men used their Bowie knives.

  • January 17, 2019 at 2:25 pm

    Based on what we know or infer from yesterday’s ‘toon, I submit that the final panel is a separate subject, that Zed is providing commentary on Sam doing it like he likes it. The shaving I mean. But judging from the title of today’s installment “Getting Some”, he’s probably commenting on more than just the visual aspects of baldness.

    I would still prefer a nicely groomed bush and maybe that’s how Zed “likes it”. And I would join with whoever here in comments it was that decries the omission of the outcome as it were, or at least continuing that dance she was doing so we might get a view of that little red flame, or otherwise. I’m okay with it either way…she’s Z’s woman, different strokes, etc.

  • January 17, 2019 at 4:37 pm

    Heh. Email they sent me this morning from the nearby Triumph dealership about a new model, a version of the Bonneville in blue and white, solo seat of course, and a nice big badge on the sideplate spelling out Matriach in script with a royal crown.

    I am normally all about babe bikes and other accessories of femaledom like the guns I sold so many of to women, and I don’t mean just the frou frou stuff -not that there’s anything wrong with that- but real gear for real women.

    Still the timing of this offering in context is pretty ironic.

  • January 17, 2019 at 5:40 pm

    Pelosi cancels the SOTU address, Trump cancels her 7-day 3-country junket, or at least the use of military aircraft, just hours before she was ready to leave. Sounds fair.

    And just as two major winter storm systems are about to hit area, such a shame.

  • January 17, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    DT tells her to fly commercial with the proles; poetic justice if the full TSA walkout her NBC buddy Chuckie Todd called for today happened while she’s away and she can’t get back.

    But of course those lobbyists who provided the party in PR have buds covering this itenerary who are willing to fund her vacay for a little quid pro quo.

    • January 17, 2019 at 9:16 pm

      It was so saddening to see Leaky Adam Schiff have to get off the bus with his Democrat colleagues when the road trip got called off.

      So just in this shutdown, Pelosi vacations in Hawaii, then Democrats (and lobbyists) vacation in Puerto Rico, and they just tried to escape on a secret 7-day 3-country getaway before these major winter systems trap them in DC.

      Three vacations in three weeks, and Democrats are The Party of the People.

      • January 17, 2019 at 9:48 pm
        Punta Gorda

        Party ON the people’s dime.

      • January 18, 2019 at 1:41 am

        Well. The People do like to Party. 🙂

        (But The People like to do the partying themselves, not watch the elite while the elite party and impoverish the people.)

    • January 17, 2019 at 10:21 pm

      If she goes, it will most likely be on a privately owned aircraft.

      • January 17, 2019 at 11:06 pm
        Punta Gorda

        So is there an Epstein equivalent for aging ambulatory zombies?


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