Someone Needs Schoolin’.


  • November 19, 2016 at 11:14 pm

    Soldered her retainer?

    That took effort.

    • November 19, 2016 at 11:57 pm
      Deplorable B Woodman

      I’m chuckling…..and chuckling……and laughing…….

      • November 20, 2016 at 8:25 am

        Sam is so creative…..even if it is just the devious mind of Chris Muir at work….chuckle….

    • November 20, 2016 at 12:21 am

      Was she wearing it? That would be epic!

      • November 20, 2016 at 3:44 am

        More like fatal. Considering the materials involved suggests the process was even higher temperature than solder at its piddly 183C (lead tin eutectic solder). Brazing uses nastier fluxes and runs up into the cheery cherry red temperatures well above 450C. But it will stick retainer wires to other metals fairly reliably – not that the retainer would be recognizable afterwards.

        This girl’s a late bloomer. I was contemplating these sorts of things back in the late 50s with my younger brother on the receiving end. Then I got my ham radio license and discovered male peers of my own age…. I got dumb for a few years, at least about some things.

        {^_-} Joanne

      • November 20, 2016 at 10:57 am

        Lighten up Francis. 😉

      • November 20, 2016 at 11:13 am

        One word Joanne; lasers.

        Son (The Jewelry Doctor Palm Beach Gardens, check out those reviews in a place swarming with 3-piece suited snobby jewelry stores) has a LaserStar iWeld that cranks out 125 joules and can instantly pinpoint weld any metal to any other metal with no ancillary heat generation and no damage to gemstones or mouthparts.

        Getting Skye’s head and the bumper into the laser chamber would be problematic but Sam’s an engineer, so…

      • November 20, 2016 at 11:22 am

        Eutectic???? Sn63 Pb37, involving no plastic state…
        You must have been soldering for quite some time, LOL!

        I actually teach soldering (among other things) to our apprentice classes. I love the excuses they come up with.

      • November 20, 2016 at 8:27 am

        Yeah, I can see her with a Buick sticking out of her mouth….:?)…

    • November 20, 2016 at 7:58 am

      It’s been mentioned before. Sam was a mechanically gifted child. 🙂

  • November 19, 2016 at 11:41 pm
    • November 20, 2016 at 12:00 am
      Deplorable B Woodman

      Bring up a child in the way they shall go, and when they are old, they shall not depart from it.

      • November 20, 2016 at 2:27 am

        Some of the truly great knowledge.

    • November 20, 2016 at 12:58 am

      That 3 year old has just as much idea Why she is crying as the “grown-up” ones do.

      • November 20, 2016 at 10:06 am

        And voices it much better than the rest, that’s why they chose her. But daddy went for Trump and that’s really got her mad, he better watch his back and sleep with one eye open. They are violent babies.

  • November 20, 2016 at 12:04 am
    Deplorable B Woodman

    Sam left out the hot chocolate and the reading of bedtime stories. Other then that, I think Sam covered all the Special Snowflake Libtard bases.

    • November 20, 2016 at 12:05 am
      Deplorable B Woodman

      Changing diapers? Nah. Do that yourself.

      • November 20, 2016 at 2:27 am


      • November 20, 2016 at 7:44 pm

        Is your first name Hedley…

  • November 20, 2016 at 12:16 am

    Just beat the crap out of her, and leave her for the vultures, ‘kay?

    • November 20, 2016 at 12:12 pm

      {Just beat the crap out of her, and leave her for the vultures}
      Why would you poison innocent vultures?

      Zar Belk!

    • November 20, 2016 at 7:58 pm


      Skye is a creative construct from Chris’s well rounded imagination.
      Her character, and her myriad set of flaws and foibles, has struck a nerve with you. Light, Dark, Shadows and all the shades of gray in between have their place in order to create balance. Skye is a point of balance no matter how much she annoys, bemuses and irks any of us. She has her place at the table.

  • November 20, 2016 at 12:19 am

    Apparently, there is some movement underway (Million Woman March) to go disrupt the day on January 20, 2017, in Washington, DC. I’ve been in WDC in winter. I know how beastly it can be. One forecast is for an Alberta clipper (nasty little thing!) to hit the Atlantic corridor, including WDC.

    Perhaps one could sacrifice a goat cheese, some raspberries and a glass of cheap wine to Shu, the Egyptian god of the atmosphere, and ask him nicely to make it a really, really lousy day for protesters, with weather delays on highways blocking eastbound traffic, flight delays, and no access into WDC unless you can show a parking sticker or a work-related ID. But the whole town will be shut down anyway, because 1/20/17 is a Friday.

    Yes, I’ve seen some of those roadblock videos. Blocking an interstate in the dark? Blocking firefighters/EMTs and 18-wheelers? And they wonder why someone gets hit by a car? And I’m supposed to sympathize with stupid people? Never gonna happen.

    • November 20, 2016 at 12:30 am


      More info on the *WOMEN’S MARCH ON WASHINGTON- JANUARY 21st, 2017*…

      • November 20, 2016 at 12:50 am

        Those mmmmmmm .. control myself. They moderate posts before they go up. i do not think they will post the site that JTC posted above. I tried. I wonder if they will hack me or attack me now. I suppose that I can take their slander and such. I will try not to laugh.

      • November 20, 2016 at 1:42 am

        It’s a ‘women’s march’, so they’re showing protesters from the Vietnam War? Do they think no one would spot that kind of thing? What idiocy they have!

      • November 20, 2016 at 9:14 am

        God forbid they use a picture from another era. Maybe one of Glenn Beck’s get together

        I don’t see any of the Million March Women leaving the area cleaner than they found it. Plus who’s paying for all those Porta-Potties?

      • November 20, 2016 at 11:59 am

        Glenn beck now seems like a plant to derail the good movement.
        he seemed to be doing so much good. Then he ran headlong into the side of a cliff, seemingly intentionally. He is kissing up to anyone who might pump money into his once mighty (snicker) media empire. He was only backed because he was for a few moments saying what was right, at least partially. Many were starved for any good ideas any truth at all. Beck did not succeed in derailing the best candidate we have seen in a long time.

      • November 20, 2016 at 7:48 pm

        Lest we forget that these whiny little bitchbabies are not the only whiny little bitchbabies that attempted to sabotage and subjugate the will of Patriots…

        Those guys are dead to me. And it really pains me to say that about some of them…say it ain’t so, Sowell.

      • November 20, 2016 at 8:12 pm

        Take a look at these signatories, and consider what they tried to do…

      • November 20, 2016 at 3:00 am
        Lon Mead

        Yeah, well, good luck finding hotel rooms that weekend anywhere near DC (and what rooms there are will be sold at a premium). Seems there’s something going on there Friday that’s got everything booked up.

        It’s easy to spot the liberal; they never think things through.

      • November 20, 2016 at 8:01 am

        Hotel rooms? Aren’t hippies supposed to camp out? Sleep in their VW mini-bues Volvo station wagons and Priuses? Wow, they can’t even get protesting right.

      • November 20, 2016 at 10:42 am
        Lon Mead

        See, “roughing it”, for a lot of these women, means a hotel with no refrigerators in the rooms, no room service, and no bell staff.

        And woe unto any of these “protesters” if they try for shelter in any of the Smithsonian museums. My brother-in-law is a director at one, and they’ve already announced that weekend as ‘all-hands-on-deck’ situation. No signs or chanting inside the museums, no blocking entrances.

    • November 20, 2016 at 12:37 am

      Trump has other locations. Doral who be glad to host the Inaugural Parade and swearing in. Or maybe some property in Texas or Central Florida. Miami Beach could host all of the Inaugural Balls, and we had 50,000 people on the beach on Ocean Drive for the Beach Boys one fine Independence day. So many possibilities. No need to party in the swamp until it is drained. Certain traditions, like ice and snow and freezing weather, do not appeal to me at all. Get a vacation out of it. Not ice, snow and feezing weather. There is a reason there is a town named Frostproof in Florida. Heck, the Sebring Racetrack could hold a different type of 12 Hours. 🙂 .

      • November 20, 2016 at 9:35 am

        The 65th Annual Mobil 1 Twelve Hours of Sebring Florida. America’s greatest endurance racing. Cars that go very fast and you have drag racing on Thursday nights. *SQUEE* Oops. Sorry went all Car Chick on you.

      • November 20, 2016 at 10:04 am
        Deplorable B Woodman

        And what’s wrong with Car Chicks?

      • November 20, 2016 at 5:16 pm

        At my last place of employment, when I mentioned I had done a frame up restoration on a car, I got the “yeah right” look.
        When I proved it, only one co-worker was “Hey Cool”.
        Some people get a little weirded out when they find out I’ve pulled engines.

      • November 20, 2016 at 10:55 am

        Car Chicks welcome here! The airfield-cum-racetrack is about six miles from home where I can here the roar of the vettes and vipers and the whine of the Peugeot and audi turbodiesels on my patio at night, but I haven’t actually gone to the party in a while.

        My old LEO customers/buddies always offer free tix and to get me into the paddocks and pits; offered Chris and his Dad a last go ’round last year for old time sake (they went together back in the day he said), but Dad was not up to it, and now we know why. 🙁

        But if you should wing this way come March my dear, you will get the honored guest treatment. We can hit the drags too; that was started years ago by a friend, then there was a lull and now it’s back. Gabe White started coming to my shop to get speakers for his car in high school and after he was a first round pick in the bigs he, his dad George and brother Charlie (best transmission shop in central fla) continued to be loyal customers for guns, jewelry, etc. as he shopped his relief pitching around from Montreal to Cincinatti to Colorado and finally the Yanks..he’s retired here now with a nice little personal museum of hot cars and a vintage gas station that I sold him next door.

        Come on down, Miz P!

      • November 20, 2016 at 11:25 am

        NYIAC can come too! I don’t know if he likes Hot Cars but I do know he likes Hot Chicks…we can double!

      • November 20, 2016 at 12:02 pm

        I like both.

      • November 20, 2016 at 12:07 pm

        And for the inauguration? Hell yes. Plenty of room and dead center of population centers and major airports to the North South East and West, and thanks to the Mouse, more hotel rooms within a little over an hour’s drive than in most states.

        Did I mention one of the reddest counties in one of the reddest states in the country this cycle? Yeah, Southrons and other deplorables still rule here, for now.

        Come on down, DT! Let’s make this thing a party that will make the race/camp/drink/cruise/hoochiekoo that is Race Week look tame. We’ve got a lot to celebrate!

        Oh, and leave those stone-cold bitches crying and screaming at each other in stone-cold DC.

      • November 20, 2016 at 5:17 pm

        That sounds pretty cool.

    • November 20, 2016 at 1:46 am
      Deplorable B Woodman

      I’m sure that even if the Libtards DO manage to gather enough Million Moms to try to disrupt the inauguration, I’m sure there will be enough conservatives there on alert (armed with innocent looking canes and walking sticks) to give the Libtards a presidential-class beatdown.

    • November 20, 2016 at 2:31 am

      Yes, I’ve seen some of those roadblock videos. Blocking an interstate in the dark? Blocking firefighters/EMTs and 18-wheelers? And they wonder why someone gets hit by a car? And I’m supposed to sympathize with stupid people? Never gonna happen.

      The “unfortnate” possibilities of that are endless. 🙂

      • November 20, 2016 at 2:32 am

        Misspelling intentional.

    • November 20, 2016 at 7:13 am
      David M

      My wife and I, and another couple are flying to Jamaica from Reagan airport that morning… Please don’t wish for too much weather. Our friends are getting married on that trip… Back many many months ago when I booked it it seemed like a good day to leave the country…

    • November 20, 2016 at 9:32 am
      Old Codger

      From what I’ve read, that’s not the only group planning on attempting to disrupt the swearing in ceremony. Clearly, they do not realize that if they get too rowdy, the principles and DC elites will simply adjourn to the rotunda of the capitol building and swear Mr. Trump in there. Something of an inconvenience but, all in all, not a very big deal. Of course it WILL be a big deal for those who traveled and spent serious bucks to room in DC or Baltimore.

      If the ones who are throwing the temper tantrum get too rowdy, one could hope the authorities would use water cannons to break it up. That would be a right pleasure to watch!

      • November 20, 2016 at 10:47 am

        Especially in cold weather!!! 🙂

    • November 20, 2016 at 10:03 am
      Deplorable B Woodman

      To paraquote one of the hippie’s own talking points, “what if they gave a march (protest), and nobody came?”

  • November 20, 2016 at 12:24 am

    I remember a couple of inaugurations where the army engineers used jackhammers to remove the ice on the parade route.

  • November 20, 2016 at 12:29 am
    Dave P.

    Instead of a time-out, maybe the sheriff ought to come in and give Skye a sound spanking…

    • November 20, 2016 at 5:17 pm

      *snicker snort*

  • November 20, 2016 at 12:30 am

    They do have a “comfort pet.”
    A little bit of Tabasco.
    Though who the comfort would be for is in question.

    • November 20, 2016 at 8:01 pm

      Like Skye would give Tabasco a scritchie under his chin…
      I’d pay good money to see that…

  • November 20, 2016 at 12:37 am
    Nom dePlume

    That soldering job required a big ‘ol American Beauty.

    • November 20, 2016 at 8:04 am

      Yeah, no such thing as a “bumper” anymore. At least not on anything less than a full pickup. 🙁
      (BTW, WTF thought it was safer to have a bit that crumples at 5mph, than one that withstands 30mph? Seriously?)

      • November 20, 2016 at 9:51 am
        Old Codger

        The idea was to make a bumper that would not incur significant damage in a low speed collision so as to reduce the likelihood of insurance companies having to pay out. Additionally, there was also a desire to remove the battering-ram-like bumpers of existing cars. With a 30 MPH bumper such as you describe, side impact collisions were frequently lethal.

      • November 20, 2016 at 9:54 am

        Basic physics. If the car hits something and stops suddenly, the passengers also stop suddenly. If your head hits the windshield at 30mph or your chest hits a rigid steering column at 30mph, it’s likely to be fatal. Even 10mph might put you in the hospital. A bumper that gives and slows the car to a stop over several feet helps protect the passengers.

        However, the safety experts appear to have forgotten to coordinate this with the other safety improvements they introduced at about the same time: seatbelts, collapsing steering columns, and airbags. You can’t be impaled on the steering column anymore, and your face meets glass only if you didn’t bother to fasten your seatbelt _and_ the airbag fails. A bumper that didn’t give at 30 could seriously injure you when you slam into the restraints, but I think one that wasn’t damaged at 10mph would be safe enough.

  • November 20, 2016 at 2:17 am
    Polly Cy

    Briefly changing topics here . . . just what the heck are those designs on Sam’s dress? Yesterday, I thought they were red hot chili peppers. In frame one today it looks like a vine with some sort of blossom here and there. But in the second to the last frame I decided they look a whole lot like shoes. All the better for giving the Progs the boot . . .

    • November 20, 2016 at 3:24 am

      Ducks? With shadows? Dunno. Maybe when I take some of my serious pai killers they’ll make more sense.

    • November 20, 2016 at 11:20 am

      M R Ducks. M R Not Ducks. O S M R 2 Ducks!

      Sorry, couldn’t resist.

      Also, this is a new pattern. The old one that we have seen many times in different colors and on different sexy little sundresses, etc. are decidedly spermatozoidal…make of that (and the ducks for that matter) what you will.

      • November 20, 2016 at 1:21 pm

        Whale oil beef hooked, JTC… I haven’t heard that in years!!

      • November 20, 2016 at 3:08 pm

        Right WayneM, what ever happened to WayneR of M R 2 Waynes fame? (Your gentle jibe was not in wain, I mean vain.) 🙂

      • November 20, 2016 at 7:06 pm

        I used to work with a guy who had this on his wall:

        Oci bene, si ergo
        Fortibus es in ero
        Nos es bene, demis trux
        Sewatis inum? Cowsendux.

      • November 20, 2016 at 5:08 pm
        Polly Cy

        O A B, C D Puppies? L, M N O Puppies.

  • November 20, 2016 at 3:59 am

    Million Moms? My first thought was to change that to “Million Ninnies.” Then I hit on what I think fits:
    Million Me Mes


  • November 20, 2016 at 4:20 am

    Instead of soldering her retainer to the bumper, she should have soldered her mouth shut. Good start, tho.

  • November 20, 2016 at 7:20 am
    Bill G

    As I watch the left in action I am reflecting yet again on the realization of why so many of the masses are against gun ownership.
    They know what they do, and project the same onto every one else while lacking the knowledge of what the Second Amendment is all about.

  • November 20, 2016 at 8:47 am
    Neil Frandsen

    Lessee… Mere Alberta High Plains in January weather is mild, compared to the Eastern Slopes of the Rocky Mountains weather, in January.
    One -65°F nighttime temperature week {7 full days} ordered, to be shipped to Washington, DC, USA: Arrival date at 0001hrs January 17, 2017. Guaranteed -65°F nightime lows, and -40°F afternoon ‘Highest’ temperatures.
    Note: In the mid 1960s, I worked in those conditions, just north of the confluence of Pinto Creek, and the Wild Hay River. It is about halfway between Hinton, Alberta, and Fox Creek, Alberta – there are no Provincial Highways, just a network of Forestry Trails, Lumber Company Roads, and Energy Company wellsite access roads. Our Survy Hack, a 5 year old Ford F-250 burned 2 to 4 quarts of engine oil per day, which is probably why it kept on starting every morning (the pistons were so loose they probably swapped cylinders to keep warm during startup, lots of rattles)… Grin.

    • November 20, 2016 at 10:27 am
      John D. Egbert

      Ah. A flashback to Chicago, Winter of ’78-’79. No January thaw; temp went far south and for six weeks didn’t get up to 0; minus 80 wind chills were the norm at NAS Glenview; 108.5″ of snow where the average accumulation is 40″. DC would die . . .

  • November 20, 2016 at 9:38 am
    Lance Dickens

    When is Skye going to point out that’s she’s acting no more “butthurt” than Sam and Zed did in 2008 and 2012 when their boogeyman won?

    • November 20, 2016 at 9:42 am
      Lance Dickens

      I mean, Christ, Zed spent how many strips raving that this was all misandrist WOMEN’S fault in 2012? Sounds a lot like Skye being all teary about misogynist MEN robbing the election

      • November 20, 2016 at 11:58 am

        Splain’n your own joke never works.

        I.e. : An 80 year old walks into the Worksource office….

  • November 20, 2016 at 10:03 am

    The comment about her retainer reminded me of Sam working on her car. I miss those scripts. She needs to get another classic muscle car to tend to.

    • November 20, 2016 at 10:13 am
      Deplorable B Woodman

      Right now Sam’s too busy working to keep the DDQ afloat.

  • November 20, 2016 at 10:25 am

    Was that before or after he threatened to move to Costa Rica, enjoined the EC to commit corruption and treason and followed the radical conservative media’s call to marched on DC? Oh wait, none of that happened…

    • November 20, 2016 at 10:26 am

      Dang it that was in reply to Lance Dickey of course…

      • November 20, 2016 at 11:20 am

        I wonder if his last name is Boyle?

  • November 20, 2016 at 12:00 pm
    Grunt GI

    So, where the heck are these women? Sam and Skye,I mean…they’re just randomly walking around the ranch and sitting in the dirt?

    I mean, that seems pretty uncomfortable to me. Isn’t a front porch swing much better than the hard ground..not that it will make a difference, Skye won’t listen anyway.

    Random thought.

    OH, by the way, if they have a Million Mom or Feminist or whatever march, who will make the sammiches?

    • November 20, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      pajama boys

      • November 20, 2016 at 1:15 pm
        Grunt GI


      • November 20, 2016 at 2:24 pm

        I like the idea of pajama boys serving them. It would be the perfect punishment for being a pansy. I live near a hiking and biking trail. The folks who use that trail occasionally stop at the local market. They get very angry at the owner for not being able to read their minds as to what kind of crazy diet they are on. The people who use the trail are city people who sneer at us locals. We call them citidiots.

      • November 20, 2016 at 4:31 pm
        Deplorable Macker

        A Million Pajama Boys! That’ll work!

      • November 20, 2016 at 5:20 pm

        Pajama Boys is just SO WRONG every which way from Sunday.
        Men need to be nekkid at night. Sheesh.

      • November 20, 2016 at 9:06 pm
        Grunt GI


  • November 20, 2016 at 12:51 pm
    Oliver Heaviside

    EXCELLENT writing, Chris. Makes the point firmly, yet gently. And it has cleavage! 😉

  • November 20, 2016 at 1:38 pm…
    Hmmmm… Asians, blacks, women… Even a civil rights leader…
    Yeah, Trump is a racist, sexist, etc.
    What again are these hundred or so moms going to be protesting? I’ve lost track of all of the micro-outrages.

  • November 20, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    As LOAO at the eloi it is well to keep an eye on the morlocks for what remains of their reign…

    Wonder what mischief they want to get into in the next two months that they don’t want Trump’s new security guy to be in on?

    • November 20, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      Good reference, and good relation;
      “Time Machine” great movie… 1st one, 2nd ok too.

  • November 20, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    As *we* laugh our asses off…quit trying to use trendy acronyms and start proofing your drivel, JTC.

  • November 20, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    I think the 49ers morale is down, Kaepernick`s been sacked at least
    4 times already;
    Another thought, Hillary`s popular vote is now supposedly 1 1/2 million,
    all the illegals, and dead voters Soros can buy.

  • November 20, 2016 at 6:58 pm

    “I’m crying! I’m shaking! Trump!”

    On this topic… I stopped watching Saturday Night Live decades ago, after the Eddie Murphy years, but I came across this clip by other means, and thought it was a marvelous change from their usual liberal pablum:

    (Also, it might have been even cooler if Sam’s final response had been, “Can’t we all just Move On?”)

    • November 20, 2016 at 8:02 pm

      Doesn’t that normally happen when someone goes through withdrawal?

  • November 20, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Sometimes we forget and need to be reminded why things were written the way they were written:

15 49.0138 8.38624 1 0 4000 1 300 0