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  • October 3, 2020 at 12:06 am
    ExNuke

    Tastes like chicken.

    REPLY
  • October 3, 2020 at 12:08 am
    epador

    Not with all that lead in it

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  • October 3, 2020 at 12:14 am
    Kafiroon

    Chew carefully! Copper/lead fragments are probably easier to find than bird shot. A rock/rocky ground can cause disintegration.

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    • October 3, 2020 at 12:16 am
      Kafiroon

      Sam? Cook?
      Ballistic Snake!

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  • October 3, 2020 at 12:17 am
    interventor

    Prairie rattlers are best served with cocktail sauce.

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  • October 3, 2020 at 12:22 am
    interventor

    In the south, rattlers are the size of pythons. Converted my brother-in-law to a gun owner.

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    • October 3, 2020 at 9:33 am
      Old Codger

      In the south, rattlers are the size of pythons.

      Don’t know about that but in Sweetwater (Texas, course) they’re always bringing in 6-footers. And that’s despite the fact of the annual “Rattlesnake Roundup” (billed as the largest such in the world). Tried some batter-fried once. T’weren’t bad. Didn’t taste a whole like chicken to me but it was okay.

      True story. One of my Uncles worked for the Post Office and worked his way up to Postmaster for Sweetwater. One time they threw a seminar for postmasters in Mordor on the Potomac and my Uncle attended. At the “getting to know you” activity everyone was encouraged to tell something about themselves and Uncle Tommy allowed as how he ate rattlesnake at Sweetwater’s annul roundup. The seminar leader gave him serious grief over him eating snake meat. Anyhow, the evening of the next day the USPS took all the attendees out to eat at some super-posh DC restaurant. The leader – a senior career bureaucrat and long-time DC resident – ordered escargot. My Uncle happened to be sitting at the table with that guy and when their food arrived he exclaimed, “You gave me grief for eating rattlesnake and you’re eating SNAILS?!?! Guess it goes to show that one man’s “Yum!” is another man’s “Oh, HELL no!”

      I’m with Uncle Tommy. Rattlesnake ain’t bad but no way in HELLL you’re gonna catch me eating snails! Damned Frogs anyhow!

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      • October 3, 2020 at 3:59 pm
        Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH B Woodman

        Eat snails!? Oh, HELL to the NO!
        When I see them in my garden, usually one of three things happen.
        If I’m in a hurry, I pass ’em on by with a muttered promise, “later for you”.
        If I have some time, I’ll pick ‘e up and give ’em “flying lessons”. Their take off is great, but their landing leaves much to be desired, “CRACK”, right into the middle of the street or parking lot.
        If I have more time, and am feeling especially irritated, I’ll sprinkle salt on ’em, to watch them shrivel & wriggle & bubble.

  • October 3, 2020 at 12:24 am
    Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH B Woodman

    Did Mari just add insult to injury on the snake at the mention of her Mom’s cooking? ROFLOL!!
    Seriously, there are cooking and culinary schools that the twins could (should) go to, to at least learn the basics of how NOT to burn water, and how NOT to send frozen turkeys into low orbit. You don’t have to become a master chef, but do at least know how to prepare basics, plus know enough to be able to combine and experiment successfully.
    Some people (such as my wife – she is the reason that I am at least 20 pounds overweight) learned how to cook from their mothers, grandmothers, and other relations. Plus during our 20 years Army travels, my wife picked up many recipes from overseas.
    Somehow I don’t think Sam had that advantage, and I don’t see the twins having that advantage either. So, hie thee to a cookery, and learn, learn, learn.

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    • October 3, 2020 at 6:21 am
      Punta Gorda

      Chicken 9n a stick at 0300 or balut?

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      • October 3, 2020 at 6:50 am
        Unca Walt

        I stop at penoy.

      • October 3, 2020 at 3:33 pm
        Punta Gorda

        Well, a bottle of Scotch was involved…

      • October 3, 2020 at 1:04 pm
        Mikey72

        “Chicken” on a stick, balut, and durian. Alcohol was involved.

      • October 3, 2020 at 2:48 pm
        Pamela

        MEDIC!

      • October 3, 2020 at 3:34 pm
        Punta Gorda

        Amazing at the low number of seagulls around eh?

    • October 3, 2020 at 3:55 pm
      Steve S

      Taint certain that it is possible to insult on top of a nice 3 shot grouping. More on the line of removing any need to tote said carcass anywhere near where dear Mom can insult the Gods with a burnt offering. Yes, she has been away for a bit but memories of near orbital turkeys are hard to erase!

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  • October 3, 2020 at 12:43 am
    Pamela

    Rattler Tartar maybe

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  • October 3, 2020 at 2:05 am
    cz93x62

    Sneks. I don’t mind the useful non-venomous kinds, but I have ZERO use for any of the rattlers and ESPECIALLY those neuro-toxin Mojave greens and the sidewinders. I spent the first four years of my LE career in the Snake Capitol Of The World, the Coachella Valley. That place has more venomous snakes per square mile than anyplace I have ever been or care to go. The first time I took incoming rounds (June 1980) I had half-assed cover behind a sand dune in North Indio while the 22 LR slugs flew overhead in some numbers, all the while the lovely D-backs and sidewinders crawled past foraging for K-rats and dune critters. I didn’t have a road flare (when lit, those kill striking rattlers instantly), and shooting to would have been very poor form indeed, since the idiot with the 10-22 had just stopped shooting at us minutes earlier. Instant Tet Offensive would have ensued. A very crummy spot, all told.

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    • October 3, 2020 at 2:50 pm
      Pamela

      Good spot for the next anti-faaaa get together and smoke fest

      REPLY
  • October 3, 2020 at 2:51 am
    Lucius Severus Pertinax

    The natural inference here is that Mari does not care for her Mom’s rattlesnake.

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  • October 3, 2020 at 3:05 am
    NotYetInACamp

    Of course in Florida, the rare diamondback rattlesnake that is solid color with no diamond patter. Thank goodness it is a recessive gene.
    https://www.newsweek.com/rare-mutant-diamondback-rattlesnake-florida-1534299

    And with Sam cooking a diamondback, would that behave more like a cruise missile, or like a sidewinder? Legitimate questions.
    Sam’s cooking. The rare exception to the rule “You killed it, you eat it.”

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    • October 3, 2020 at 12:17 pm
      John

      And on the flip side we in Oklahoma have the Bullsnake, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullsnake
      which has a pattern strikingly like a Diamondback but is not poisonous.
      In the old farmhouse I lived in we had two, my mother called them Adam and Eve, who reportedly wrapped themselves around the hot water pipes under the house in winter.
      I never saw any sign of any rodent in that old house.

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  • October 3, 2020 at 5:18 am
    DeeKayT

    When I was in Vietnam, they would say that there are a 100 different types of snakes here. 99 of them are poisonous and the other one just swallows you whole.

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  • October 3, 2020 at 6:37 am
    Punta Gorda

    Good snake=dead snake.

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  • October 3, 2020 at 7:26 am

    Even less meat now, I wot.

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    • October 3, 2020 at 8:12 am
      GWB

      ‘Splainin’ the punchline, man.

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  • October 3, 2020 at 9:11 am

    When I was stationed at Fort Stewart, Georgia and was out on training exercises we could spend weeks in the woods. We had the Diamondback’s as our constant companion. Did see a few python size ones. We also had the copperhead and cottonmouth’s to contend with. And of course throw in the recluse and black widow spiders, alligators and mosquitoes the size of small drones and you have a wonderful time in the woods.
    My most favorite were the palmetto bugs. The look like roaches but are about three times as big. We called then ‘cuddle bugs, because you always found 6 or 8 cuddled up next to you in the morning, in what ever you used to wrap up in at night. Always check your boots…

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  • October 3, 2020 at 9:13 am
    JTC

    When a kid deserves the old GB line “good shootin’ Tex!” from her daddy she could take out that rattler with a single head shot so as to preserve the meat. But when the kid gets a direct but veiled warning and reminder as to Mama’s cooking skills it’s BAMBAMBAM…whoops left a little unshredded…BAMBAMBAM!

    Snakes are good y’all. We’re adjacent to a large and natural (rare in fla) state park, so all manner of critters come around, bears, foxes, bobcats, and of course the golf course ponds are full of gators one of which every now and then makes its way into somebody’s pool…and invariably there are the pearl-clutches who will call for them to be trapped and relocated; idiots, you live in their range so more will take their place. And anyway with few exceptions -like rattlers which get removed violently and with malice aforethought- they will stay away from you and leave you alone if you do the same. And they all serve a purpose in God’s plan, as we humans -also with exceptions who deserve the rattler treatment- mostly do.

    And it’s the same survival plan for both. Get rid of those with evil intent and no redeeming virtue, and leave the rest of them, critters and peoples alike, the fuck alone.

    There’re lessons in everything and those young’uns are getting a full and critical curriculum.

    REPLY
    • October 3, 2020 at 9:24 am
      PaulS

      Amen!
      🙂

      REPLY
    • October 4, 2020 at 12:07 am
      NotYetInACamp

      Yup. And that park may be the first state park in Florida donated by a woman in the 1920’s or so (Don’t make me look it up) It is the natural beauty that was so many other places in Florida. It is a destination, but likely never will be commercialized, meant only for people who will go into nature. Bugs, snakes, bears, gators, and all. `Like where I am, there is much more nature surrounding there. He has other houses. I get them here without civilization in the way. No bears or panthers so far, thank goodness.
      Your cats can actually go outside and survive, if they stay close.
      Great Maine Coon Cat you have. Unique color.

      REPLY
  • October 3, 2020 at 10:21 am
    Jane

    I especially enjoy Zed interacting with his daughters. Punkin sounds so sweet to me. You don’t have to use many words, but you still pack a punch, Chris.

    Be well.

    REPLY
  • October 3, 2020 at 11:37 am
    Crotalus

    AGAIN with the killing of rattlers! You’re killin’ me here!

    On the other hand, nice shootin’, kid!

    REPLY
    • October 3, 2020 at 2:30 pm
      JTC

      You’re killin’ me here!

      Literally if alliteravely.

      Crotalus is the genus for rattlesnake…I did not know that.

      So are you the cool/crazy bald guy doing the vids feeding warm rats to those monsters? Very cool and entertaining like I said, but beyond behavioral research and maybe milking? Why? And damn dude!

      REPLY
      • October 3, 2020 at 2:35 pm
        JTC

        Alliteravely? WTF?

        “Literally if figuratively.”

      • October 3, 2020 at 4:02 pm
        Crotalus

        No, though the description fits. My wife won’t let me keep rattlers. I have had pet gophers, kings, garters, and the like off and on as pets since I was a young’un. I picked the name because of the various “Don’t Tread on Me” rattlesnake flags, as well as I just plain like them, even the rattlers.

  • October 3, 2020 at 11:48 am
    WayneM

    When we built our house in the Hill Country of Texas, as a rural-raised Canuck out of his element, I spent a fair amount of time observing the flora & fauna. Plenty of critters but I didn’t see any rodents… no squirrels, chipmunks or such. My wife & I discussed such so we weren’t surprised when we saw a fox bounce across the yard… and hearing an owl at night…

    A few months later, the lawn care service were using an industrial weed wacker to flatten the growth in the unmodified backyard and killed a 3 foot rattlesnake… And, no, I was not interested in cooking it up…

    REPLY
    • October 3, 2020 at 12:50 pm
      JTC

      Lucky wacker operator; tromping into overgrowth making a ruckus is exactly how you get the fangs…a 3 footer has limited range but he could still kill a dude, as our badass local sheriff Grady Judd says, “graveyard dead”. 🙂

      REPLY
      • October 3, 2020 at 1:05 pm
        JTC

        As to cooking it up, eh.

        As a semi-native Floridiot and gun dealer I’ve dined on about everything, even bear (gamey taste). But rattlesnake, gator tail and frog legs, even most venison, and most especially wild pig, just ain’t that great to me.

        Sorry, I have to depart from my fellow rednecks and good old boys on this…and truth to tell, a lot of the stories and claims are a kind of reverse wokeness bunch of BS. Because most, like me, prefer a good thick steak from the local butcher and/or a pound or so of bacon on about anything (bacon-wrapped rattlesnake? Huh.) to any of the wild meat any day.

      • October 4, 2020 at 11:26 pm
        NotYetInACamp

        I grew up on Miami Beach, and my mother was a great Hungarian and American cook. We ate good fresh natural food. We did try cooking and eating some of the game we killed like snakes and rabbits. I was a cracker redneck to the rich kids in the school I discovered my Great Grandmother and step Great Grandfather were the first major contributors to after the 1926 Hurricane knocked Carl Fisher’s old donated polo stables down. Friends mothers used to ask my mother to send me over to eat dinner with them. Those po rich folk often were picky eaters. I ate ravenously, as an example to them. Do you want that last piece? (After consuming massive quantities) Being 4 of 6 with 2 larger older brothers who also ate ravenously, I showed those picky eaters what appreciation of enough food was supposed to be.
        No rattlesnake on those menus. They had cooks. My mom;s food was still better.

      • October 6, 2020 at 12:45 am
        JJ

        I thought only we mountain Georgians called you that!
        jj

  • October 3, 2020 at 1:43 pm
    Halley

    I once found a affectionate green snake named Caesar whom I kept as a pet, around the same year I fell in love with Diana Rigg, Elke Sommer and Joey Heatherton and daydreamed of being Napoleon Solo. Not saying there’s any connection to the snake…

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    • October 3, 2020 at 1:50 pm
      JTC

      Oh there’s a connection…

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    • October 3, 2020 at 4:07 pm
      Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH B Woodman

      The snake wasn’t affectionate.
      It was “snuggling” up to you for warmth.

      REPLY
  • October 3, 2020 at 4:22 pm
    Halley

    https://theconservativetreehouse.com/2020/10/03/chris-christie-coivid-positive-mcconnell-adjusts-senate-calendar-scotus-nomination-schedule-continues/#more-200907

    Breaking. I’m sure the number of us suspecting that the vipers(D) are capable of this is about to expand exponentially.

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    • October 3, 2020 at 4:54 pm
      JTC

      No doubt they are capable. Culpable? Who knows, but they have proven that -nothing- is out of bounds in their crazed and desperate state. That’s part of why I thought it a great idea for DT and his hot chick to be safely sequestered. Whether the hospital suite offers the same safety is questionable…some scum has already been leaking private info.

      What else might do? The worst case scenario sends chills up my spine…

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      • October 4, 2020 at 11:32 pm
        NotYetInACamp

        Statistically, what are the odds of so many Republicans in leadership positions that practice safety measures to get the covid as compared to Democrats that did not secure themselves any better and did not get the covid. Asking for some friends.

  • October 3, 2020 at 6:19 pm
    JTC

    As to nature/nurture read a bit about that nasty 15 yo whore daughter of K. Conway who outed and blamed her mom for getting the bug. Horrible possibly irredeemable pig and the husband is fit only to kill. One can only imagine the father/daughter moments they shared. Good and decent woman, the poor thing is now dealing with that full time. That is what suicide is made of.

    REPLY
  • October 3, 2020 at 7:56 pm
    DB Messkit

    Out here, in the Cali of the Fornia—cate, I get all kinds of grief for killing rattlers. “Oh, they keep the ecosystem in check, by eating the rats and mice!”. To which I remind them, that the snake will eat once, maybe twice a month. Meanwhile the rat he missed, will have had a litter of 12, and those pups are already pregnant. I tell them that I keep the ecosystem in check, by poisoning as many rats and mice as possible, and shooting the snakes. After they recover from their self-centered apoplexy, I shake their world by telling them that “I” am also the ecosystem, and in my world, rats, mice, and snakes are not welcome.

    Surprisingly, I don’t get invited to their parties too often…

    REPLY
    • October 3, 2020 at 8:07 pm
      Oldarmourer

      Just as well, lawn clippings and tree bark aren’t my favourite dishes 😉

      REPLY
  • October 3, 2020 at 8:42 pm
    Henry

    I used to shoot the local rattlers, but found it was more profitable to grabstick them, pop them in the chest freezer, and sell them to snakeskin crafters. They appreciate whole hides.

    REPLY
    • October 3, 2020 at 8:50 pm

      “…grabstick them.”

      Yeah…no.

      I will continue to bangstick mine. 🙂

      REPLY
      • October 3, 2020 at 10:54 pm
        pyrodice

        At ten bucks a pop, a freezer full makes for ammo money, now and then.

      • October 4, 2020 at 12:32 am
        John M.

        It’s getting them INTO the freezer that’s my hang-up…

      • October 5, 2020 at 1:51 am
        pyrodice

        wait til the punchline next year when we find the one that slid to the BOTTOM of the freezer, all contorted around the ribeyes!

  • October 4, 2020 at 11:42 pm
    NotYetInACamp

    My mama did not let us keep rattlers after one of my brothers rattlesnakes got away and was residing in my sister’s room.
    When we were little it was still legal to keep indigo snakes. We kept them for a few months, fed them mice, then returned them to where we had caught them. Those were our rules.
    My mom also banned the water moccasins. There were enough non poisonous snakes, so we had no valid argument. And it’s not wise to make mom angry.
    Generally we considered them pets and did not mess with them except as something beautiful from nature. I still catch them occasionally here and then release them. I have many blacks snakes residing here that I let do what they want to do. I have also seen rattlesnakes and water moccasins about.

    REPLY

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