Fish or Cut Bait.
Get Smart.


  • October 7, 2017 at 12:04 am

    Freakin’ me out, man…helluva shell game.


    • October 7, 2017 at 1:04 am

      Whew. OK there it is, I can breathe now.

      As kids growing up in the Glades around Lake O we would tie heavy nylon cord to big saltwater fishing hooks, bait ’em with something rotten, and toss them in the drainage canals with the other end tied off to a bush or whatever. Couple days later come back around to check your lines and collect big catfish, gars, mudfish, even an occasional small gator (bigger ones could break or chew the rope or straighten out the hook). But the favorite catch and what we were really “fishing” for, were big old softshell turtles that we would sell to the local black folks who dropped them in a vat of boiling water live, like a lobster. Didn’t think much about the cruelty thing then, we got a buck or two apiece for them and that was big money for 12-13 year olds in the mid 60’s.

      Anyway. Donald, leave McConman in his shell and get a big pot of water boiling. Show him my story here and see if that changes his attitude. If not, drop him in. Hell, drop him in anyway, either way. I wouldn’t do that to a turtle these days, but him? Eh.

      • October 7, 2017 at 1:22 am

        Quote from guys that worked at the same place: Them’s good eatin’!

    • October 7, 2017 at 6:10 pm

      gives a whole new meaning to getting shelled

  • October 7, 2017 at 12:12 am

    I know a picture is worth a thousand words. What is a pixel worth?

    • October 7, 2017 at 12:28 am
      Tom Z.

      I would guess that would depend on how many pixels (meow) are in the picture.

      • October 7, 2017 at 1:00 am
        Greg B

        Heh. Used to hve a cat named that. Yes. Inspired by Heinlein.

      • October 7, 2017 at 8:51 am

        That is a strange name for a cat.
        What is on second.

      • October 7, 2017 at 10:27 am

        Ida Know! Who’s on third? All I know is it isn’t Bud and Lou.

      • October 7, 2017 at 8:10 pm
        Delilah T.

        I do have a cat that can walk through walls, y’know.

      • October 7, 2017 at 8:34 pm


        Is his name Wilson and can he open portals to alternate worlds?

      • October 7, 2017 at 11:00 pm
        Delilah T.

        No, her name is Miss Punkin Squawkypants, and she is quite sure there is a mouse under the dishwasher (which sits flat on the floor under the countertop). I occasionally find her in places that can only be explained by an ability to subvert the electromagnetic force and just walk right through a wall.

        She does occasionally disappear into her own Universe, but I think there’s only room for one cat-sized person in it.

      • October 7, 2017 at 1:00 pm

        The presence of Heinlein’s children on this august forum is heartening. May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

    • October 7, 2017 at 8:36 am
      Deplorable B Woodman

      A pixel is worth two “bits”.

      • October 8, 2017 at 12:39 am

        Ahhh. A quarter, eh?

    • October 8, 2017 at 12:48 pm

      I’ll byte.

  • October 7, 2017 at 12:19 am

    Very strange. Was not showing up on my iPhone, but loads on my IMac and iPad.

    Heh. So true. McYertle indeed.

    Sunday announcement of Redvolution? 🙂

  • October 7, 2017 at 12:39 am

    Hmm, maybe turtle soup should be on the menu

  • October 7, 2017 at 1:37 am

    I thought the reptile people were less shell-bound…

  • October 7, 2017 at 2:11 am

    Bastard certainly does look like one…

  • October 7, 2017 at 3:21 am

    m(b)itch mcconnell has always been a “turd-le”.

  • October 7, 2017 at 6:26 am

    Like Lyin’ Ryan, McConnell believes that all he has to do is stonewall and wait. And that in the end, this “roadblock” will turn out to be nothing but a speed bump, and the Long March down the One True Path to Glorious One World Syndicalist Socialism (the actual definition of “Globalization”) can continue.

    He doesn’t understand that the reason DJT opposes this is that as a businessman with literally decades of experience, he knows an unsustainable “business model” when he sees one. and that the only people who wholeheartedly support this pipe dream are either the ones who know this and are counting on it to destroy civilization so they can build their Orwellian state on the ruins (a pipe dream in itself), or are people too stupid to understand what the end result will be.

    I’m pretty sure the President puts McConnell and Ryan in the latter category.

    clear ether


    • October 7, 2017 at 2:12 pm

      I’m trying to remember if this board is where I heard the following:
      There are only two types who believe Socialism can work; Idiots and Intellectuals.
      The Idiots don’t know any better, and the Intellectuals don’t _want_ to know any better.

      • October 7, 2017 at 6:36 pm

        “There is no idea so stupid that you can’t find a professor who will believe it.”
        — H. L. Mencken

  • October 7, 2017 at 8:48 am
    Deplorable B Woodman

    Mitch McConnell will never change……he’s mummified.
    A post turtle is more active than Mummified Mitch.

    • October 7, 2017 at 10:31 am

      Did you know that they actually used Mummies like cord wood to feed the fire on trains back in the 19th century.

      • October 7, 2017 at 2:25 pm

        Natron made them burn well.

      • October 7, 2017 at 2:42 pm
        Deplorable B Woodman

        Mummies were also ground up to be used as oil paints, “Mummy Brown”.

        Hhmmmmmmm……….”Mummified Mitch Brown”…….. I wonder what it would look like? And dare I use it on a painting? Most important, would anyone miss Mummified Mitch if he were ground down into brown? How now?

      • October 7, 2017 at 8:04 pm
        Delilah T.

        Don’t use it in a painting. The stench of rot and decay would overpower your viewer.

  • October 7, 2017 at 8:55 am

    If the invertebrate GOPe had at least tried, if only symbolically, to impeach Our Lightbringer for at least one of his many crimes and misdemeanors, maybe we could forgive them just a half smidgen. But they not only didn’t try, they let Lightbringer – eagerly, some would say – get away with 1000% of his Cripple America agenda. So we do not forgive them.

    • October 7, 2017 at 11:14 am

      The Lightbringer’s supporters and sponsors still had the power of that magic voodoo word holding full power then. The word was their one apparent argument winner. The evil ones would confront all opponents with the magic jou jou mojo yell: RACIST.

      Besides, they were in cahoots with the enemies of the USA, and brought in more enemies to add to their armies of enemies across the land. Then the devil worshiper lost. The war with the devil’s minions continues through the days.
      The tortoise or terrapin, or whatever form he may be in, will be found retreated into his believed protective shell. There believing that naught will be able to harm him, nor oppose him.

      Forgiving such evil is not within our responsibility.

      • October 7, 2017 at 12:57 pm

        Not a tortoise, you’re a Florida boy, you know they are land dwellers…McCon is def a swamp creature.

        OTOH tortoises do dig themselves holes which can be like a dangerous minefield to others so…

      • October 7, 2017 at 6:30 pm

        I believe in diversity in evil. They can take any form or identify in any way they so desire. So if the reptilian is a gopher of the Florida kind, they can dig that burrow as well as sort of clam up inside the shell. Blue ties or no tie (signal as noted by others). My family has had many of those Florida Gophers on various property over the years. Fire and brimstone has been bad for some of them during dry season. Except for the kind in the toon, I have never had any problem with them except having to watch out for the burrows.

  • October 7, 2017 at 10:58 am
    Charlie Foxtrot


    Including the signaling blue tie. Nicely done, Chris!

  • October 7, 2017 at 1:19 pm

    A post turtle should be atop a post.

    • October 7, 2017 at 2:51 pm
      Deplorable B Woodman

      I can see that……a big ol’ terrapin, atop a tall fence post, with Mummified Mitch’s frowning fitz and scrawny stretched out neck, waving all four legs and claws uselessly in the air, going nowhere, doing nothing. Yep. That’s our moribund McConnell.

  • October 7, 2017 at 8:08 pm
    Delilah T.

    This is interesting. I’ve rescued several turtles crossing a busy road, too dumb to realize that they can’t outrun speeding traffic and that the road was built with no consideration for their need, to go lay eggs in the marshes. One of those turtles was so old she had spikes on her tail. I really thought I was looking at some undiscovered dinosaur. She was so old, there was moss growing on her shell, which was the size of a turkey platter. Big old critter, just wanting to lay her eggs and mud up for the coming winter.
    So the words dinosaur (extinct family), mossy back (geezers), turkey, and to dumb to know when to quit all apply to McTurtle.
    Thanks for your time!

    • October 7, 2017 at 8:37 pm

      Mamma always knows best when it comes to youngins

  • October 7, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    Back to bumpfire for a minute…I sure hope DJT and NRA get the DiFi contingent to take these things into NFA and switch suppressors out of it before they see this shit:

    Otherwise one of two things will happen, either they will realize they are being had and getting nothing for something, or it’s going to get a lot harder to buy a rubber band. 🙂

    • October 7, 2017 at 11:07 pm
      Delilah T.

      Well, that was VERY educational. Why spend $40 when 10 cents will do?

      Now I’m going to go fall down laughing at the hysterical response that will cause school supplies to be banned!!!!

      I love this stuff!!

      • October 8, 2017 at 12:00 am

        And the $40 is just for a trigger…the bump stocks that are on everybody’s tongue right now were $129 a week ago on Gunbroker; now they’re $299 and are selling…Barnum was right.

  • October 7, 2017 at 10:52 pm
    Alaska Paul

    Speaking of terrapins, Nelson Algren had a scene he described in his novel, “A Walk on the Wild Side. The scene was at a seafood joint in New Orleans in the early years of the Great Depression. One of the main characters in the novel was a young lad named Dove Linkhorn. Dove was watching the cook who was cutting the heads off of the terrapins as part of the process of making turtle soup, and throwing them on the prep table. The turtles kept moving, headless, and were moving until they were on top of the pile, where they fell over. Sort of a metaphor here. Nelson Algren put himself in the viewpoint of the turtles, like great diplomats or politicians, adding flowery speech. When I read the pronouncements of McYertle, I think of this scene in the novel.

  • October 8, 2017 at 12:02 am

    Stalin’s chief of security inquired as to why the turtle soup was delayed. He found the chef waiting for the turtle to stick his head out. Security chief poked the critter in the tail. Head poked out and, was prompty chopped off. Chef asked how he learned that trick. Security chief replied, “look who I deal with,” referring to the party apparatchiki.

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