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What’re the Odds?

64 Comments

  • June 2, 2019 at 12:06 am

    They’ve got the Farce down cold though.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 12:08 am
    Pamela

    Watch out for Shape Shifters. Never know what form they will take.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 12:10 am
    kadaka

    Vote for friendly rubbing and playful hair sniffing!
    Joe Biden, better than an Irish Setter!

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  • June 2, 2019 at 12:12 am
    Fox2!

    No MANPADS?

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    • June 2, 2019 at 1:07 am
      Toxic Deplorable B Woodman

      Fire for effect!

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  • June 2, 2019 at 12:14 am
    interventor

    My dad said, beware of a married man who suddenly owns an Irish setter. He may have a red head on the side. Dad was safe, mom was a red head and he knew better than to stray.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 12:17 am

    Great art BTW…although my son the die-hard SW fan would not be happy to see those regurgitated Zero/Pepsi stickers on the ships…with Ol’ Joe piloting?!?!

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    • June 2, 2019 at 12:43 am
      kadaka

      But they’re advanced holographic projections, see how they stay aligned to the viewers. Democrats are masters of projection.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 1:06 am
    Toxic Deplorable B Woodman

    The DildoCrats may not have the Force. They have the Farce and the Schwartz instead.

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    • June 2, 2019 at 1:19 am
      Punta Gorda

      Maybe Dearth Vaper.

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    • June 2, 2019 at 1:51 pm
      JJ cooper

      Dear man, You have given me my belly laugh for the day!The Farce and the SCHWARTZ!!
      JJC

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  • June 2, 2019 at 1:19 am
    WayneM

    Given how the StarWars franchise has gone over to the Diversity Inclusion Equity (DIE) Cult of late, it’s very apropos to have the Imperial March playing in the background as Creepy Uncle Joe & the DeepStateCrats fly overhead…

    All that’s missing from Creepy Uncle Joe’s Tie Advanced fighter was the “Free Candy” bumper stickers…

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    • June 2, 2019 at 4:05 am
      Pamela

      Think he’s get elected if he handed out candy that read “Suck my Lolly”

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      • June 2, 2019 at 2:13 pm
        WayneM

        To quote Creepy Uncle Joe,

        “I’ll bet you’re as bright as you are good looking.”

      • June 3, 2019 at 7:52 pm
        CactoBlaster

        Pam, do you mean the ones left over from Bill’s Oral Office ?

    • June 2, 2019 at 10:56 pm
      Fox2!

      And “Help me find my puppy”.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 1:45 am
    kadaka

    The Left didn’t like the “drunk Pelosi” video. So they initiated an Imperial Inquisition until they tracked down a black conservative Trump supporter who was a forklift driver until getting replaced by illegals. They have determined him guilty and are proceeding with the public execution. The Empire was not amused. Be a good productive citizen so they will not have to make an example of you too.

    We Found The Guy Behind the Viral ‘Drunk Pelosi’ Video

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    • June 2, 2019 at 8:45 am
      Punta Gorda

      I saw the side by side comparison and honestly… could not see much of a difference.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 2:11 am
    CaptDMO

    Sure, go ahead and mock ’em.
    Lest we forget, there’s ALWAYS a Lando, or Jar Jar Binks, waiting to “help”.
    Don’t get cocky kid.
    Eternal vigilance, I’ll take dog watch during Yub Nub.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 2:43 am
    Too Tall

    Who knew? The entire libtard movement is Computer-Generated Imagery (CGI).

    And I thought their members only strongly resembled Non-Player Characters (NPCs).

    Then I realized NPCs are far more logical and intelligent than the occupants of the Dims’ Clown Car Campaign.

    Turn Javier loose on them. A couple hours of coding, and they should all be properly and permanently “re-educated,” (powered off).

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  • June 2, 2019 at 4:31 am
    Bill G

    I believe the plan is ‘Today ballot harvesters, tomorrow the storm troopers’.

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    • June 2, 2019 at 6:47 am
      eon

      That’s to be expected from people who are operating solely on the demands of their R-complex, the reptilian “hindbrain”.

      In the backs of all their minds is a prehistoric ancestor jumping up and down and screaming “I HATE YOU ALL!! YOU ALL MUST DIE!! YEEAARRGGHHH!!!”

      Note that this may at least partly explain their fondness for drugs. Trying to drown out their inner savage so as not to present their true face to the world. Until after they have seized power and are sure it can’t be taken away from them, that is.

      After that, they will let that atavistic predator loose, with consequences that aren’t hard to figure out.

      clear ether

      eon

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      • June 2, 2019 at 8:12 am
        Ed Brault

        “In each of them is the mindless savage, growing more enraged and more inflamed with each new frustration”.

        Cdr. J.J. Adams, Forbidden Planet

        Zar Belk!

      • June 2, 2019 at 10:40 am

        “…after they have seized power and are sure it can’t be taken away from them…”

        When pigs fly. Oh wait, he’s in that ship now ain’t he?

        Ok then, time for weaponized turkeys, pigeons, geese, FMJ’s…

  • June 2, 2019 at 4:33 am
    Bruce A Frank

    So the Force needs Palpatine or Snoke! Or is Kylo stepping onto the Emperors Throne?

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  • June 2, 2019 at 5:14 am
    Halley

    Biden being the Party of Crime’s nominee is about as likely as them not attempting to rig the election again, with or without BleachBit, golden showers in Moscow or dirty pay-offs to the FBI. They surely know they cannot beat Trump/Pence legitimately, which means they are planning something very, very illegitimate for 2020…

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  • June 2, 2019 at 6:05 am
    kadaka

    Cummings’ Wife’s Refusal To Turn Over Records On Her Nonprofit Is ‘Illegal,’ Expert Says
    * Rep. Elijah Cummings’ wife runs a nonprofit that has taken millions from interest groups with business before the Oversight Committee that Cummings chairs.

    * A watchdog group filed a complaint with the IRS saying that Cummings’ family could be trading favors for money, and told TheDCNF about the wife’s “creepy” and “weird” conduct when it spoke with her.

    Eh, the Clintons got away with it. Will Mrs. Cummings borrow Hillary’s cloth?

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  • June 2, 2019 at 7:33 am
    Wood

    I have a bad feeling about this…

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  • June 2, 2019 at 11:41 am
    Pete231

    How about a sequel to “Flesh Gordon” with the Creeper in the title roll and Occasional Cortex as the Queen of Outer Space since she already lives in a vacuum. Guaranteed box office gold !

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    • June 2, 2019 at 1:39 pm
      Pamela

      Those are nekkid people I never want to every see in the FLESH!
      Don’t look! You’ll Go BLIND!

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      • June 2, 2019 at 10:17 pm
        interventor

        In the south, nude means you ain’t got any clothes on. Nekkid means no clothes and you’re up to something. Still your statement applies.

  • June 2, 2019 at 4:24 pm
    Brent Dotson

    Was reading Facebook this morning and read a statement that made me laugh out loud. Guy called the left “factose intolerant” Told him I was stealing that.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 5:50 pm
    Tennessee Budd

    I saw the comic & saw “JO 2020”, and wondered, “Who’s ‘Jack-Off’ who is running for office in 2020?”
    Before I saw the red “E”, I’d already answered my own question–everybody on the Democrat side (perhaps double when talking about Pete Bootybandit).

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    • June 2, 2019 at 7:23 pm

      Surely that guy/gal’s middle initial is “N”?

      And I can’t see that name without thinking of Quagmire…

      Peter N. ButtGiggitygiggity

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      • June 2, 2019 at 8:03 pm
        Toxic Deplorable B Woodman

        Peter In ButtGiggityGiggity

    • June 2, 2019 at 10:22 pm
      Pamela

      Clean up on every aisle….
      Full hazmat gear and protocols. God knows where any of them have been and with whom.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 8:01 pm
    Toxic Deplorable B Woodman

    Only slightly OT; the New Yawk Slimes is trying to whitewash itself as an investigative, (old school) journalism, fact reporting newspaper, championing “the little people”. I’m seeing TV ads for “The Weekly” on FX channel. It should be called “The Weakly”.
    Now excuse me while I catch my breath from laughing at the obvious propaganda job.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 8:18 pm
    cb

    Today’s world from the web:

    “While we recognize that the subject did not actually steal any horses, he is obviously guilty of trying to resist being hanged for it.”

    “If we had had confidence that Mueller was not involved in necrophilia we would have said so.”

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    • June 2, 2019 at 8:43 pm
      Punta Gorda

      Mueller and the Hildabeast?

      That’s laughable and disgusting. Ya do know she’s an ambulatory corpse.

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    • June 2, 2019 at 9:51 pm

      Is it still necrophilia if one zombie is bonking another zombie?

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      • June 2, 2019 at 10:23 pm
        Pamela

        depends on how many pieces fall off…

      • June 2, 2019 at 10:38 pm
        kadaka

        Famous romantic quote:
        “At least I know a part of me will always be inside of you.”

  • June 2, 2019 at 9:38 pm
    kadaka

    Coming soon to an America near you.

    Why the UK Suddenly Is Suffering from a Physician Shortage

    A UK tax policy intended to soak the rich has caused highly specialized physicians and surgeons to retire early, depriving more than a million citizens of their services. A new report details the extent to which progressive taxation has harmed British patients.

    The NHS is in a state of perpetual crisis characterized by doctor shortages, long wait times, and rationing. The UK lost 441 general practitioners last year and had 11,576 unfilled vacancies for doctors as of last June.

    But in the last six years, 585 surgical practices have closed down, affecting 1.9 million patients. Last year alone, 138 surgery facilities closed their doors, up from 18 in 2013.

    Why become a doctor? Good money. Until the government decides you make too much. By the UK’s perverse layered taxing schemes, doctors can end up paying the government to work.

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    • June 2, 2019 at 10:14 pm

      No no see, our plan would just give shit to them what don’t have enough shit by taking shit from them what has too much shit. We even break it down; 50% to hand out to the had nots and 50% to gov and a nominal 20% administrative fee for me…I mean for services.

      What, you say then them that had too much shit now have less than no shit? Well then they would be them what don’t have enough shit and we can give them some shit from some others what has too much shit.
      Try to keep up dude.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 10:57 pm
    Kafiroon

    Since we are commenting off topic…
    I saw that EX-president Obama says I can “buy a machine gun on the internet”.
    Does anyone know the address?
    I think I need one to stave off the stormtrooper zombies.

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    • June 2, 2019 at 11:11 pm
      kadaka

      Yup, full auto assault weapons right here, many AR-style. Very dangerous!

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    • June 3, 2019 at 9:27 am
      Punta Gorda

      Sure you can. From his Fast and Fabulous operation when managed by CockHolder.

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  • June 2, 2019 at 11:11 pm

    https://www.gunbroker.com/Machine-Guns/search

    Don’t know if the details that apply to us apply to the One.

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  • June 3, 2019 at 12:10 am

    WELL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, MUIR!

    IF YOU HAVE TO PASS OUT DRUNK AT THE KEYBOARD, THE KICK OFF FOR PASSING THE PLATE IS NOT THE TIME TO DO IT…WHERE IS YOUR GREED AND AVARICE???

    GOT MY FRANKLIN CRUNCHED UP IN MY HOT LITTLE HAND TRYING TO HIT THE “SEND” BUTTON…DON’T MAKE ME PISS IT AWAY ON ANOTHER PSA WEEKEND AMMO DEAL!

    WAKE UP!!!

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    • June 3, 2019 at 12:44 am
      Too Tall

      JTC,

      You approach is so much more refined and urbane then mine would be.

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      • June 3, 2019 at 9:33 am

        Yes thank you, reserved and refined in all things.
        Or most things.
        OKAY NO THINGS ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!?!

    • June 3, 2019 at 12:52 am
      JSStryker

      Picked up a BCG for my 300 Blackout from PSA.

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    • June 3, 2019 at 2:15 am
      Henry

      I suspect that last year’s coding for linking to the donation website stopped working this year, and indigestion is ensuing.

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  • June 3, 2019 at 12:46 am
    Too Tall

    Too bad we can’t post the pic of Judge Smails in Caddyshack saying,

    “WELL…we’re waiting!”

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    • June 3, 2019 at 6:56 am
      Chris Muir

      Monday’s toon links to the fundraiser, which doesn’t go up until 8-8.30am today, so I can’t load it until then. 🙂

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      • June 3, 2019 at 7:04 am
        kadaka

        G’ Morning, boss!

      • June 3, 2019 at 9:36 am

        Dude, smarmy little blame games are unbecoming. Fess up!

  • June 3, 2019 at 3:22 am
    Mike-SMO

    Poosh Dah Button. It’s getting late.

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  • June 3, 2019 at 3:39 am
    kadaka

    Need something printed up for the morning, printer wasn’t printing black. Followed troubleshooting, then put in new black cartridge. Which apparently only half works, leaves consistent missed wide bars. Much troubleshooting, leading to need to replace with new cartridge per instructions.

    Which left Walmart. Been a few years. Got the ink, some small things, and a car battery which I’ve been needing, just changed it in the parking lot to get the core charge refunded right away. Just got back and am gnawing through a Walmart discount hoagie, slightly better quality than mini-mart standard. And the battery was $40 cheaper than nearby autopart stores’ online prices.

    How’s your night going?

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    • June 3, 2019 at 5:45 am
      Punta Gorda

      Slept like a log. Woke up st a stupid hour. Too damned stubborn to try and grab an extra hour or two.

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      • June 3, 2019 at 6:26 am
        kadaka

        Gave it one more try, and it was almost there, one more cleaning cycle and now that cartridge works just fine.

        After I already tore open the outer package of the new 2-pack so can’t return them. Those cartridges better store well, at my rate of use that’s a two year supply.

      • June 3, 2019 at 9:32 am
        Punta Gorda

        If it’s a laser printer. Yeah. Stores well.

        (I’m a field service twit for printers and assorted IT issues that are beyond end user capabilities. Sort of an on the fly depot level repair facility)

  • June 3, 2019 at 7:19 am
    kadaka

    Media messaging on Virginia Beach revealed:

    Extended Magazines Are Unnecessary and EVIL.

    Also just seen on CBS This Morning: The guy did have a legally bought sound suppressor. They asked President Trump if there are any plans to regulate them.

    REPLY
    • June 3, 2019 at 9:39 am
      Punta Gorda

      They are already regulated. You have to have a specific permit for them.

      REPLY

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