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  • July 22, 2017 at 12:20 am
    Too Tall

    Six-foot condom? Not even the steel-belted, radial, with studded tread model is up to that task.Neon glow-in-the-dark is optional, but equally ineffective. That place is probably full of pathogens that eat latex for lunch; breakfast and dinner, too.

    For these two, proper precautions should start with a Class A HAZMAT suit , and a Thompson M1 .45 cal submachine gun, with plenty of extra 30 round stick magazines. That would be the minimal precautions required to walk out alive and uninfected.

    Nah, even then, it’s still a NO GO zone.

    • July 22, 2017 at 12:35 am
      JackDeth72

      30 round stick magazines for the Thompson .45 caliber Sub Machine Gun were developed specifically for Airborne Troops blown to all four corners of France during the D-Day Drops….

      And found too heavy and constantly dropping out of the well of the weapon system. And quickly discarded for the lighter and easier to count, standard 20 round magazines.

      • July 22, 2017 at 6:26 am
        eon

        The Thompson itself was “dropped” by the paras in turn, replaced by the folding-stock M1A1 .30 carbine. Weight matters with airborne forces even more than it does anywhere else, and a C-47 can only lift so much. A Thompson weighs nearly ten pounds, empty; a carbine about five. Five loaded 20-round “XX” Thompson magazines weigh roughly the same as ten loaded 15-round carbine magazines.

        For the weight of a Thompson and six loaded 20-round magazines, a para could jump with a folding-stock carbine and about twenty-five loaded 15-shot magazines. 120 rounds vs. 375; plus the carbine’s .30 round hit as hard at 350 yards as the .45 round did at the Thompson’s muzzle.

        Not much of a contest. The carbine was and is just a better weapon for most jobs than about any SMG you can name.

        cheers

        eon

      • July 22, 2017 at 10:28 am
        Ron

        As a member of the 1st Canadian Parachute Battalion my uncle carried the Mk V Sten gun and the Browning (Inglis) Hi-Power. Both in 9mm.

      • July 22, 2017 at 10:45 am
        JackDeth72

        The Browning Hi-Power was/is a fine piece of accurate, ergonomic work,

        And standardization of ammunition is a priority in the military, Ron.

        Even if it did get rid of the venerable .45 Colt 1911 ACP and delivered the far inferior Beretta 92 and 93 series of sidearms.

      • July 22, 2017 at 10:30 am
        JackDeth72

        No argument, Eon.

        Always like the M1 Carbine. No matter its configuration. Light weight, versatile, decent range, low recoil. Though not the stopping power of the 30.06 round.

        A lot like today’s Ruger Mini-14.

        Though, I’m still something of a fan of the M-3 “Grease Gun”. Stamped parts and all. Which seemed to serve Steve McQueen well in the B&W WWII Siegfried Line, Don Seigel film, ‘Hell Is For Heroes’.

      • July 22, 2017 at 1:43 pm
        John

        The Grease Gun’s main virtue was that it was cheap.
        They were issue to tank crews post-WWII for I-don’t-know-how-long, and heaven help you if a recoil spring gave out.

  • July 22, 2017 at 12:28 am
    JackDeth72

    Just as “You can never have “Too Much Ammunition”….

    One can never have “Too Much Protection”!

    • July 22, 2017 at 9:05 am
      Norm

      The only times you can have too much ammunition are if you’re trying to swim or you’re on fire.

      • July 22, 2017 at 7:30 pm
        Merle

        Swim came to mind right away, but I forgot about fire – thanks for the reminder!!! 🙂

  • July 22, 2017 at 12:29 am
    WayneM

    I was gonna suggest the HazMat suit complete with respirator.

    Does the WJC Library include a “Get Groped by Slick Willy” room?

  • July 22, 2017 at 12:39 am

    Ya see Sam, when they say Slick is the biggest dick ever to occupy the office, that doesn’t really mean…oh, never mind, a full-body rubber suit treated with pesticide/spermicide is actually a good idea.

    “The Bill Comes…” Yeah we get it dude, damn…

  • July 22, 2017 at 1:30 am
    Fox2!

    Surely, Sam and Skye need the level of “protection” Leslie Neilson and Priscilla Presley used in The Naked Gun!

    And don’t call me Shirley!

    • July 22, 2017 at 10:33 am
      JackDeth72

      Am I the only one flashing back to the super cheap and Hot Glued “Environmental Suits” of a few ‘Star Trek: TOS’ episodes. Which were Tailor Made out of…. Bubble Wrap?!!!

  • July 22, 2017 at 1:31 am
    Fox2!

    MOPP 4 may not provide sufficient protection.

    • July 22, 2017 at 10:37 am
      JackDeth72

      Having spent far too much time in MOPP-4 during Training Exercises being advised to “Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate!”

      It’s just not up to the task.

      RACAL Suits. Scott Packs and Respirators are a far safer bet!

  • July 22, 2017 at 1:47 am
    Ozymandias

    Bring a flamethrower.. nothing quite cleanses like fire.

  • July 22, 2017 at 1:54 am
    KenH

    Don’t breathe the air, ladies
    If SLICK has been there never mind the BEASTCUNT, it’s contaminated beyond hope of fixing

  • July 22, 2017 at 2:33 am
    Halley

    It has always been unclear whether the sensuous, sultry, smoking Mrs. Clinton actually self-identifies as female…

    • July 22, 2017 at 6:27 am
      eon

      I believe she self-identifies as Kali.

      clear ether

      eon

  • July 22, 2017 at 2:49 am
    rocky

    ROTFLMAO!!!!! Just OUTSTANDING!!

  • July 22, 2017 at 3:03 am

    Ah feel yo pain, baby…

  • July 22, 2017 at 7:45 am
    Dread

    I’m still not understanding why anyone would want to take their children to anything Clinton.

    • July 22, 2017 at 10:39 am
      JackDeth72

      *Ahem*

      “Know your enemy as well as you know yourself and victory is assured.”

      *Sun Tzu*

  • July 22, 2017 at 7:53 am
    Bill G

    Outstanding, Eon.

    Carnivals, and various other clusterfrolics sometimes have lifesize depictions of characters for passers-by to pose with in various ways. I don’t suppose the Clinton Liebrary would have Slick in profile for people to pose as if for a Monica.

  • July 22, 2017 at 12:56 pm
    Spin Drift

    Chris:

    Skyes the limit, have a good year.

    Spin

  • July 22, 2017 at 5:11 pm
    Pamela

    Better hope you don’t have an allergy to latex.
    Wait a minute. Are there Sex Shops located near that library…

  • July 22, 2017 at 10:33 pm
    Lonny Bridges

    True story:

    Back in my younger bar hopping days, (circa 1972-73) it used to be a common wise crack, when discussing Halloween costumes, for someone to say “why don’t you just pull a giant condom over your head, and go as a prick..

    Funny comment.

    So one of those Halloweens, I did it. Acquired a large flesh toned garbage bag. Cut two armholds and with a magic marker, wrote “FOR THE PREVENTION OF DISEASE ONLY” on the back side. Walked in the door of the bar and got WTF looks, until I turned around.

    Got 2nd place…

    Girl dressed as a Princess chained to someone in a gorilla suit got 1st. (Mother was the gorilla.)

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